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Entry tags:
The Language of Violence, She the Rain Follows, Ashes to Ashes, I Suck At Titles, PTSD, Sgarm
http://archiveofourown.org/works/143528
The Language of Violence
Love everything about this. Karkat's viewpoint is done great, and so are the different reasons, especially how he managed an accidental stabbing. (And something about the idea of sleeping Jack is terribly cute, even if he is still every bit as stabby.) And I like the inclusion of exile, since how Karkat had gone along with that was another things I wondered about.
He didn't care what Terezi said, he didn't care who agreed with her, he wasn't going to step back and let them march Jack onto the shuttle that would carry him to the dead ruins of their old world. He was the god-damned leader, and a good leader didn't just toss aside a soldier who'd been fighting at his side for weeks when he hadn't suffered a wound or illness that made culling necessary.
This is at once both such a perfect way of showing his feelings and a good reminder that holy shit, trolls are messed up.
Thanks so much!
I don't think I did the best with either of mine (working on a third I didn't finish it by deadline, and have half a fourth I don't know what to do with), but it was still fun.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/125167
She the Rain Follows
Great descriptions in this. Love as a sickening parasite is perfectly fitting for a species that considers friendship a disease, and the way Kanaya sees Rose is beautiful.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/126035
Ashes to Ashes
Hm. I like the second half more than the first. The horrible inevitability of the timeloop - and Dave going along with it knowing how it ends - is brilliant, but the opening bit is just hard to follow, and that leads into the worst disconnect, of not really seeing why Dave goes nuts in the first place.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/128785
Okay I Admit I Suck At Titles
That was cute. You did a good job with Nepeta's style, and I liked the way Rose's suggestions of bigger words are grafted onto her simple writing.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/129524
PTSD (Post-TimeShit Dave)
A nice look at everyone. I thought it was odd that only Dave had taken things so badly, but what he says later on about seeing all the bad ends they never did made it make sense. The wedding itself was cute, especially the trolls.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/122815?view_full_work=true
Sgarm
This feels flat. A lot of the setup and dynamic are close enough to the original that they're dull, and your own additions are lacking - the elves don't feel like they have much interesting about them, they're just generic elves with a few extra details thrown in. And the thing with her mother just seems over the top.
It might have worked better to go further away from the established way things work in Homestuck (long lead up to anything happening, extended conversations with fellow players beforehand). And either their culture should be more different, or skimmed over. A lot of the things you take time to build up to are things that aren't surprises, since they've already happened in the main comic, so the build-up is more tiresome than suspenseful.
So also it's New Years.
I feel pretty blank about real world stuff at the moment, I'm afraid. My internet resolution is less lurking and sidetracking, more productivity.
Next month: fucking pokemon category. And I'll continue at this because I'm not done, but mostly, fucking pokemon category.
The Language of Violence
Love everything about this. Karkat's viewpoint is done great, and so are the different reasons, especially how he managed an accidental stabbing. (And something about the idea of sleeping Jack is terribly cute, even if he is still every bit as stabby.) And I like the inclusion of exile, since how Karkat had gone along with that was another things I wondered about.
He didn't care what Terezi said, he didn't care who agreed with her, he wasn't going to step back and let them march Jack onto the shuttle that would carry him to the dead ruins of their old world. He was the god-damned leader, and a good leader didn't just toss aside a soldier who'd been fighting at his side for weeks when he hadn't suffered a wound or illness that made culling necessary.
This is at once both such a perfect way of showing his feelings and a good reminder that holy shit, trolls are messed up.
Thanks so much!
I don't think I did the best with either of mine (working on a third I didn't finish it by deadline, and have half a fourth I don't know what to do with), but it was still fun.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/125167
She the Rain Follows
Great descriptions in this. Love as a sickening parasite is perfectly fitting for a species that considers friendship a disease, and the way Kanaya sees Rose is beautiful.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/126035
Ashes to Ashes
Hm. I like the second half more than the first. The horrible inevitability of the timeloop - and Dave going along with it knowing how it ends - is brilliant, but the opening bit is just hard to follow, and that leads into the worst disconnect, of not really seeing why Dave goes nuts in the first place.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/128785
Okay I Admit I Suck At Titles
That was cute. You did a good job with Nepeta's style, and I liked the way Rose's suggestions of bigger words are grafted onto her simple writing.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/129524
PTSD (Post-TimeShit Dave)
A nice look at everyone. I thought it was odd that only Dave had taken things so badly, but what he says later on about seeing all the bad ends they never did made it make sense. The wedding itself was cute, especially the trolls.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/122815?view_full_work=true
Sgarm
This feels flat. A lot of the setup and dynamic are close enough to the original that they're dull, and your own additions are lacking - the elves don't feel like they have much interesting about them, they're just generic elves with a few extra details thrown in. And the thing with her mother just seems over the top.
It might have worked better to go further away from the established way things work in Homestuck (long lead up to anything happening, extended conversations with fellow players beforehand). And either their culture should be more different, or skimmed over. A lot of the things you take time to build up to are things that aren't surprises, since they've already happened in the main comic, so the build-up is more tiresome than suspenseful.
So also it's New Years.
I feel pretty blank about real world stuff at the moment, I'm afraid. My internet resolution is less lurking and sidetracking, more productivity.
Next month: fucking pokemon category. And I'll continue at this because I'm not done, but mostly, fucking pokemon category.
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*wonders if you get the meme*And Happy New Year! Looking forward what productivity you'll bring in! :P
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My productivity will be great and terrible. It may also not last beyond the month, but it's going to be a NaRe month.
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Evil Santa.
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