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Authors, Day Twelve
Name: Bada24
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2660466/
--------------------
Subject: Thanks for your review
Thanks for the review you put on my story "Frostbite". You spotted obvious
errors I should have seen and you told me how I could fix some for future
chapters and also offered suggestions. Reviews like yours are what will help
me improve my writing skills for the future. -Bada24
--------------------
Name: Marozard
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1296583/
--------------------
Subject: Regarding Your Reviews
Thank you! Man, you probably could never guess how many times I've gone over
all of my fanfics and have tried to figure out what was wrong with them. I
mean, I realize that the way I've composed it is crappy, but I had no idea
what was wrong. It was like some sort of riddle that I had a feeling I knew
the answer to, but just couldn't think of it =/ And though I appreciate all
the compliments I get in review, I've never gotten the constructive criticism
I really needed. Should you decide to continue with the story, please note,
before you repeat yourself, that because I couldn't figure out what was wrong,
I would sort of alternate what I was doing.
One chapter I'd write "Hello," he said.
The next, I'd write "Hello," He said.
And etc, etc, etc.
The last time I've actually written a new chapter was when I was in the 9th
grade, right now I'm in the 12th, and the real reason I haven't really even
made an attempt at updating is because I would compare the way I wrote my
stories to other fanfics and found myself disgusted at my own fanfics. Right
now I'm working on some new chapters and I'm hoping with your advice in those
last reviews and my past three years of taking english and creative writing
classes will assist me as I attempt to finish my stories. Anyway, I sincerely
appreciate what you did for me, whether you meant it as a flame or not, and
hope you continue to review.
Marozard =]
--------------------
Name: Marozard
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1296583/
--------------------
Subject: P.S.
Ah and I'm not going to lie, though I appreciate the reviews, it definitely
was a blow to my ego so I'll answer a couple questions regarding the storyline
so I don't seem completely incompetent.
1. Arguments mean both characters have feelings. What Bryce said should have
hurt Dawn and made her yell accusations back, but instead she's staying calm,
which looks really weird and like she actually doesn't care.
Well, in regards to the argument, I've never been all that good at describing
family moments. I even went so far as to consider making Bryce an orphan just
to avoid it, but I realized if I did that, I would potentially make all the
main characters in my future fanfics orphans. So I just sort of pull arguments
I've personally experienced and use them. So the way Dawn responded to Lucas's
death was a way I remember arguing with someone, who I'm not going to name,
about a serious, personal matter.
2. Given that none of them seem to like Team Galactic, why do they go on to
try to win their battles?
They don't try to win their battles. In fact, Bryce and Edwin lost on purpose.
Though, reading back, I know where you're coming from. I was a bit
inconsistent on that part of the chapter, making it seem as though Bryce was
trying to win, but when I was typing it, my thoughts were that Bryce was only
trying because he was trying to get a feel for Turtwig's moves. Brandon was
the only one who won on purpose because he's a rash character and didn't
appreciate the way Mars spoke to him before. So he was basically battling hard
to make a point, in a way.
3. Also, if that's how people end up in Team Galactic, the organization should
be coming apart at the seams because most of them would hate the group.
Well, later on in the story I more or less address that, and I was planning on
elaborating on it in the future chapters I plan on posting. But I guess I want
to see if there's anything wrong with the idea. The prime example for this one
is Brandon. Brandon hates Team Galactic, but because he was the only one who
won, he was recruited onto the team. Later on in Jubilife, Bryce sees Brandon
again, but he's completely emotionless and doesn't even recognize Bryce. My
reasoning for this is ever since the Team Galactic take over, the team was
seperated into two teams, the Neos and the Primes. The Primes were the members
who joined of their own free will, so they still have their emotions to some
extent. However, the Neos, such as Brandon, are forcefully taken and all of
them are given bronzors. Bronzors are the ideal pokemon to Cyrus because
they're basically emotionless due to their robotic nature(Though there are
exceptions, as there is to everything). They're personally bred by Team
Galactic and given to the Neos where they keep the members hypnotized from
inside their pokeballs. I was playing with the idea that pokemon are still
active within their pokeballs like on Pokemon Adventures. However, bronzors,
being living creatures, have to rest every now and then, so the Neos would
wake from their trance, locked in their quarters by the Primes until the Neos
were called on other missions. That's basically the whole idea concerning
Primes and Neos, please tell me if you see any inconsistencies.
4. [We don't need to learn about pokemon, all you need to know, is that you
take
the valuable pokemon, and get rid of the weak ones." ]
How does that even work? It seems they're in charge here and the ways
trainers
get pokemon, so they'd be stealing from people they already control.
Well, though they control trainers, they don't control wild pokemon, and Team
Galactic knows this. So they allow trainers to have pokemon to a certain
extent. For example, Charizards don't just happen to fly around, especially
not in Sinnoh, and since Team Galactic feel that they're too important to have
to train pokemon on their own, aside from the grunts, they'll allow a new
trainer to have a charmander, because chances are they'll see the trainer
again when it's fully evolved. I know that one seems off because the trainer
could just take on Team Galactic with his charizard, but I can't really
explain it without putting a whole chapter in this PM, and I'm making enough
excuses as it is. I was also going to address that one when Bryce's turtwig
fully evolved, and I sort of did on the Turtwig Conundrum chapter in the end
of the chapter, though I never explained why Saturn took back his torterra.
Like I said, I appreciate the constructive criticism, but this PM was just to
defend my ego, though I don't really have much of one ^-^'
Sincerely,
Marozard.
--------------------
You have received a reply from the author, ChaosAngel4us, regarding the review
you posted for:
Title: In a Nutshell Part II
Chapter: 1
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6642087/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1653459/
--------------------
Thank you for your constructive criticism. I'm really trying to write this
story well and your review is very helpful with what I'm trying to accomplish.
Sorry about making the main character too Mary-sueish; I'll work on it in the
next chapters.
--------------------
You have received a reply from the author, xPikachu-Princessx, regarding the
review you posted for:
Title: Just a Little Crush?
Chapter: 1
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6641314/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1635568/
--------------------
Okay so I've been dreading ever getting a review from you but now that I have,
I have a reason for saying what i'm about to say.
Do you have it in you to give someone a nice review for a change? I've seen
plenty of reviews left on brilliant stories from you and I don't think they
have ever been nice.
You try to go on as if you are some writing expert when really you aren't.
I've read some of your work and it's not all that.
I'd appreciate it if you don't review any more of my stories unless you have
something good to say. No, i'm not trying to say people shouldn't leave me
negative comments because they do help, but it wouldn't hurt to point out the
good things would it?
--------------------
Name: XxCupcake n BunniesxX
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2632544/
--------------------
Subject: re: Your review to Violence isn
Okay first of all, I've seen your review to a beginner to fanfiction. 'Die in
fire'? Your advice is cruel, because they most likely don't know much and just
want to post their imagination to a website which you refuse to give them a
positive review. Hey, I actually tried to do my BEST, to use correct grammar
and spelling. Plus, I'm only 13, not some expert writer that have amazing
talents in New York. About my story you reviewed, the first paragraph you
wrote is harsh--what, am I supposed to say 'OMG THEY WERE LIEK PURPLE AND PINK
AND WONDERFUL RAINBOW COLORZ AND IT LOOKED AWESOME!!!'. Well, I'm sorry if I'm
not in pro writing.
Nobody's perfect, and NO I'm not a Hannah Montana fan. Frankly, she's a
terrible role model for children. Anyways, back to the subject, I even
bothered to read one of your stories. I noticed it was so clearly described,
it sounded something like you took months to write that. For me, it's hard to
stay on subject and describe well! Just because you think you're better than
EVERYBODY, doesn't mean you can put reviews like that telling people to die or
something like a cruel whore! I'm trying to put my daydreams to LIFE, and you
are seemingly just here to crush other dreams.
--------------------
By "first paragraph" they're talking about where I said
[The brick walls was completely red . . . or brown, it was so dirty that it would be assumed brown. ]
If you change your mind about a description, for god's sake just edit the fucking thing.
What exactly they mean, however, eludes me.
Name: animelovewriter
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2356517/
--------------------
Subject: My story
Hey, I understand that some people don't respect your reviews. If you ask me,
you are doing the right thing by being honest. It tells the writer what they
do wrong so they can get better.
I am not sure if I am this, for the sake of my feelings ... but would mind
reviewing my story? I am 13 years old (please remember that i am still young)
and I want to be a writer some day. The more critism, the better for my
writing career.
Here is a link if you want to read
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6304320/1/Love_of_an_Angel
--------------------
Story: Burned
Chapter: 1. Chapter One
From: ()
-------------------
Hey, the person you reviewed Jirachi lover is my best friend so kindly keep
your mean reveiws to YOURSELF but since I don't have an account. HA! Good
thing JL is in my class!
-------------------
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2660466/
--------------------
Subject: Thanks for your review
Thanks for the review you put on my story "Frostbite". You spotted obvious
errors I should have seen and you told me how I could fix some for future
chapters and also offered suggestions. Reviews like yours are what will help
me improve my writing skills for the future. -Bada24
--------------------
Name: Marozard
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1296583/
--------------------
Subject: Regarding Your Reviews
Thank you! Man, you probably could never guess how many times I've gone over
all of my fanfics and have tried to figure out what was wrong with them. I
mean, I realize that the way I've composed it is crappy, but I had no idea
what was wrong. It was like some sort of riddle that I had a feeling I knew
the answer to, but just couldn't think of it =/ And though I appreciate all
the compliments I get in review, I've never gotten the constructive criticism
I really needed. Should you decide to continue with the story, please note,
before you repeat yourself, that because I couldn't figure out what was wrong,
I would sort of alternate what I was doing.
One chapter I'd write "Hello," he said.
The next, I'd write "Hello," He said.
And etc, etc, etc.
The last time I've actually written a new chapter was when I was in the 9th
grade, right now I'm in the 12th, and the real reason I haven't really even
made an attempt at updating is because I would compare the way I wrote my
stories to other fanfics and found myself disgusted at my own fanfics. Right
now I'm working on some new chapters and I'm hoping with your advice in those
last reviews and my past three years of taking english and creative writing
classes will assist me as I attempt to finish my stories. Anyway, I sincerely
appreciate what you did for me, whether you meant it as a flame or not, and
hope you continue to review.
Marozard =]
--------------------
Name: Marozard
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1296583/
--------------------
Subject: P.S.
Ah and I'm not going to lie, though I appreciate the reviews, it definitely
was a blow to my ego so I'll answer a couple questions regarding the storyline
so I don't seem completely incompetent.
1. Arguments mean both characters have feelings. What Bryce said should have
hurt Dawn and made her yell accusations back, but instead she's staying calm,
which looks really weird and like she actually doesn't care.
Well, in regards to the argument, I've never been all that good at describing
family moments. I even went so far as to consider making Bryce an orphan just
to avoid it, but I realized if I did that, I would potentially make all the
main characters in my future fanfics orphans. So I just sort of pull arguments
I've personally experienced and use them. So the way Dawn responded to Lucas's
death was a way I remember arguing with someone, who I'm not going to name,
about a serious, personal matter.
2. Given that none of them seem to like Team Galactic, why do they go on to
try to win their battles?
They don't try to win their battles. In fact, Bryce and Edwin lost on purpose.
Though, reading back, I know where you're coming from. I was a bit
inconsistent on that part of the chapter, making it seem as though Bryce was
trying to win, but when I was typing it, my thoughts were that Bryce was only
trying because he was trying to get a feel for Turtwig's moves. Brandon was
the only one who won on purpose because he's a rash character and didn't
appreciate the way Mars spoke to him before. So he was basically battling hard
to make a point, in a way.
3. Also, if that's how people end up in Team Galactic, the organization should
be coming apart at the seams because most of them would hate the group.
Well, later on in the story I more or less address that, and I was planning on
elaborating on it in the future chapters I plan on posting. But I guess I want
to see if there's anything wrong with the idea. The prime example for this one
is Brandon. Brandon hates Team Galactic, but because he was the only one who
won, he was recruited onto the team. Later on in Jubilife, Bryce sees Brandon
again, but he's completely emotionless and doesn't even recognize Bryce. My
reasoning for this is ever since the Team Galactic take over, the team was
seperated into two teams, the Neos and the Primes. The Primes were the members
who joined of their own free will, so they still have their emotions to some
extent. However, the Neos, such as Brandon, are forcefully taken and all of
them are given bronzors. Bronzors are the ideal pokemon to Cyrus because
they're basically emotionless due to their robotic nature(Though there are
exceptions, as there is to everything). They're personally bred by Team
Galactic and given to the Neos where they keep the members hypnotized from
inside their pokeballs. I was playing with the idea that pokemon are still
active within their pokeballs like on Pokemon Adventures. However, bronzors,
being living creatures, have to rest every now and then, so the Neos would
wake from their trance, locked in their quarters by the Primes until the Neos
were called on other missions. That's basically the whole idea concerning
Primes and Neos, please tell me if you see any inconsistencies.
4. [We don't need to learn about pokemon, all you need to know, is that you
take
the valuable pokemon, and get rid of the weak ones." ]
How does that even work? It seems they're in charge here and the ways
trainers
get pokemon, so they'd be stealing from people they already control.
Well, though they control trainers, they don't control wild pokemon, and Team
Galactic knows this. So they allow trainers to have pokemon to a certain
extent. For example, Charizards don't just happen to fly around, especially
not in Sinnoh, and since Team Galactic feel that they're too important to have
to train pokemon on their own, aside from the grunts, they'll allow a new
trainer to have a charmander, because chances are they'll see the trainer
again when it's fully evolved. I know that one seems off because the trainer
could just take on Team Galactic with his charizard, but I can't really
explain it without putting a whole chapter in this PM, and I'm making enough
excuses as it is. I was also going to address that one when Bryce's turtwig
fully evolved, and I sort of did on the Turtwig Conundrum chapter in the end
of the chapter, though I never explained why Saturn took back his torterra.
Like I said, I appreciate the constructive criticism, but this PM was just to
defend my ego, though I don't really have much of one ^-^'
Sincerely,
Marozard.
--------------------
You have received a reply from the author, ChaosAngel4us, regarding the review
you posted for:
Title: In a Nutshell Part II
Chapter: 1
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6642087/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1653459/
--------------------
Thank you for your constructive criticism. I'm really trying to write this
story well and your review is very helpful with what I'm trying to accomplish.
Sorry about making the main character too Mary-sueish; I'll work on it in the
next chapters.
--------------------
You have received a reply from the author, xPikachu-Princessx, regarding the
review you posted for:
Title: Just a Little Crush?
Chapter: 1
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6641314/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1635568/
--------------------
Okay so I've been dreading ever getting a review from you but now that I have,
I have a reason for saying what i'm about to say.
Do you have it in you to give someone a nice review for a change? I've seen
plenty of reviews left on brilliant stories from you and I don't think they
have ever been nice.
You try to go on as if you are some writing expert when really you aren't.
I've read some of your work and it's not all that.
I'd appreciate it if you don't review any more of my stories unless you have
something good to say. No, i'm not trying to say people shouldn't leave me
negative comments because they do help, but it wouldn't hurt to point out the
good things would it?
--------------------
Name: XxCupcake n BunniesxX
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2632544/
--------------------
Subject: re: Your review to Violence isn
Okay first of all, I've seen your review to a beginner to fanfiction. 'Die in
fire'? Your advice is cruel, because they most likely don't know much and just
want to post their imagination to a website which you refuse to give them a
positive review. Hey, I actually tried to do my BEST, to use correct grammar
and spelling. Plus, I'm only 13, not some expert writer that have amazing
talents in New York. About my story you reviewed, the first paragraph you
wrote is harsh--what, am I supposed to say 'OMG THEY WERE LIEK PURPLE AND PINK
AND WONDERFUL RAINBOW COLORZ AND IT LOOKED AWESOME!!!'. Well, I'm sorry if I'm
not in pro writing.
Nobody's perfect, and NO I'm not a Hannah Montana fan. Frankly, she's a
terrible role model for children. Anyways, back to the subject, I even
bothered to read one of your stories. I noticed it was so clearly described,
it sounded something like you took months to write that. For me, it's hard to
stay on subject and describe well! Just because you think you're better than
EVERYBODY, doesn't mean you can put reviews like that telling people to die or
something like a cruel whore! I'm trying to put my daydreams to LIFE, and you
are seemingly just here to crush other dreams.
--------------------
By "first paragraph" they're talking about where I said
[The brick walls was completely red . . . or brown, it was so dirty that it would be assumed brown. ]
If you change your mind about a description, for god's sake just edit the fucking thing.
What exactly they mean, however, eludes me.
Name: animelovewriter
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2356517/
--------------------
Subject: My story
Hey, I understand that some people don't respect your reviews. If you ask me,
you are doing the right thing by being honest. It tells the writer what they
do wrong so they can get better.
I am not sure if I am this, for the sake of my feelings ... but would mind
reviewing my story? I am 13 years old (please remember that i am still young)
and I want to be a writer some day. The more critism, the better for my
writing career.
Here is a link if you want to read
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6304320/1/Love_of_an_Angel
--------------------
Story: Burned
Chapter: 1. Chapter One
From: ()
-------------------
Hey, the person you reviewed Jirachi lover is my best friend so kindly keep
your mean reveiws to YOURSELF but since I don't have an account. HA! Good
thing JL is in my class!
-------------------
no subject
Also looks like we get to add "saying 'DIAF'" to the Things That Make You a Whore list. I guess these guys still haven't figured out that was not in reference to the prose or the pairing.
no subject
no subject
no subject