The stupid...it burns...

[farla]

Wanted to make sure everyone starts off the month on the right foot - namely, aware that human stupidity is limitless.

There are a total of twelve spelling errors in the summaries on the Just In page for pokemon, and a number more grammatical errors and misspelled names.

There's a mary sue 'parody' story, Doom to the Mary Sue!. As we all know, if you write a deliberately bad story, that's a parody and it magically makes it good. In other news, if you deliberately set forest fires, they stop being destructive and deadly and become clever, ironic artistic comments about regular forest fires.

There's also Scorned where, yet again, the most desired test subject for scientists to turn into a superweapon is a young girl.

There's the craptastic effort of Guitarprincess, Two perfect women For Dumbutt Levander, where she decides pokemon category is the correct place to put a song about how much her friend likes his girlfriend and Paris Hilton. Because I certainly care a great deal about that. Don't you?

And then comes a real treat - the utterly not a mary sue Karisa Mako in Today an Angel Died. The first two chapters involve mindblowing amounts of wangst, but the third chapter trumps it all - Karisa, having run away from home at thirteen and now a sixteen year old with hair reaching down her back and high heels, requests the song Are You Happy Now? and dedicates it to her family (all of whom just so happen to be listening right that moment), then sings a verse with an incredibly beautiful voice("He thought she sounded good just talking, but singing? She sounded as close as possible for a human to sound like a chorus of angels, or at least Xan thought so. He spent most of his time listening to music so he had heard a lot of voices, including up coming music stars, but this? He had never heard anyone with a voice like that."). Her sister, Officer Jenny, is reduced to tears by the song and feels so horribly bad about how she treated Karisa, while her MEAN EVIL PARENTS get angry at her for pulling this.

But that's not all, folks! The category can and does get worse. Check out CelestialTime93's story, Pokemon Generation 1: A Forgotten Reletive. Back in April I reviewed it to mention the title was misspelled. Noticing it again with the title still there, I checked out the reviews, then, because such stupidity tends to be author-instigated, checked the story and found:
"Also, I just got a really, really bad flame from one of the people who reviewed, and, no offence, but, report for abusing if you want but, "You could've at least spelled the title right." I mean, what the hell does that mean? I mean, I know I spelled relative wrong, but, still, I'm not much of a speller! After all, I'm korean! You can't blame me for spelling errors! I'm only a beginner writer! I only began writing last year! You gotta cut some slack for me y'know! And also, if I get any more insults of my grammar, writing, nor anything that insults my writing (like book one of "Before Anything") then I am gonna accept NO MORE FLAMES! Either cut me some slack, or I'm gonna ban flames from ever being written in the reviews of my stories! Got that? In otherwords, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and nothing else bad will be said about the story NOR the title."

I'm sure there are very good reasons why I shouldn't kill off the entire human race right now...but I can't seem to think of any.

Comments

[actonthat.livejournal.com]

As we all know, if you write a deliberately bad story, that's a parody and it magically makes it good. In other news, if you deliberately set forest fires, they stop being destructive and deadly and become clever, ironic artistic comments about regular forest fires.

Hahahahaha.

How do you make yourself read all of these fics? I can't even get myself to read a lot of the good ones o.o;;

...Oh dear lord.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_teh_captain_/]

Agreed, the pokemon section on ff.net is monumentally terrible - at best. At worst - you find yourself washing your eyes out in bleach at the sheer retardedness and the horror of it all. Forget baby Jesus, everyone up in Heaven is shedding tears at what they're writing.

Anyway Farla, you have my respect for putting yourself through reading all that garbage on ff.net, but I'm surprised you haven't mentioned Ted Toss64 in your entries. You would think it's bad enough for someone to write about entire families consisting of Mary Sues with all sorts of super-powers, super-weapons, super-pokemon and all sorts of other MS contrivances - but when you combine it with a lack of story and character depth, paper-thin plots, a childish way of describing actions, events and dialogue, and some sort of obsession going on with pregnancy, it's just diabolical (oh yeah, and the de rigeur Suethor inability to take any kind of criticism as well). I really didn't know what to think when I found out he was 21.

In fact, I'm surprised that no-one's given him the critical kicking he so richly deserves. Then again, when you consider the fact that most 'critical comment' on ff.net passes for 'OmG yuo rites teh graetist ficks!!1 Moer chaptuers!!! MEOR CHAPTEURES!!111', it's not hard to see why there's so much trash on the site. God help us if these kind of people grow up to be put in charge of important things in the future. God help us all.

Re: ...Oh dear lord.

[farla.livejournal.com]

All I know about Ted Toss64:
He submitted his main character to another story (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2392409/1/) with some moronic babbling about suing if the author didn't portray Ted right (http://www.fanfiction.net/r/2392409/2/1/), his profile involves claims of copyrights and lawsuits (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/187457/), and he's writing a story about Ted fighting Ash. (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2175334/1/)

...I am not touching his stories. I value my sanity.

Start praying for a holocaust

[niftysgirl.livejournal.com]

Because I think we need it. I was just reading the review response to your review, and was wincing the entire time. Banning flames? Yeah, you can do that. Doesn't mean it won't happen. Actually, I think it encourages flames. But that's just me.

I don't think the world is stupid, though. Just the fan fic writers in the Pokemon section. ::Evil Grin::

Re: Start praying for a holocaust

[razorleaf.livejournal.com]

Hey now, we're not all bad. But, agreed, most are.

[maidensrage.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Mary Sues, Farla, I keep on seeing this story popping up (and all of the reviews, strangely, are very positive, so maybe I'm missing something there)...have you heard of

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Speaking of Mary Sues, Farla, I keep on seeing this story popping up (and all of the reviews, strangely, are very positive, so maybe I'm missing something there)...have you heard of <Emerald: the Legend of Hoenn> by Katie Legends? It's one of those a girl falls into her game stories. It isn't BAD in the beginning, but when she starts catching vibravas and bagons and altarias and become trusted/revered/blah blah by everyone from May and Brendan to random people on the street, I'm wondering if she's a Mary Sue.

Gosh, I sound mean. >.<

And don't kill the entire human race...it's very boring to be on a big planet by yourself. ~.^

[farla.livejournal.com]

I've seen it, but I only skimmed the first chapter before getting too bored (one of the standard openings for a real world/pokemon cross. Getting sucked into the game is even more common than pokemon being invented in the future. And they *always* mention the screen flash as the last line.) I'll check it out again.

And yeah, that's a sue, of the common dragon trainer and canon knower subset. I'm not sure if there's ever been a real world/pokemon story that doesn't involve a sue, though.

[dioschorium.livejournal.com]

As we all know, if you write a deliberately bad story, that's a parody and it magically makes it good. In other news, if you deliberately set forest fires, they stop being destructive and deadly and become clever, ironic artistic comments about regular forest fires.
Forgive me for sounding like a squealy reviewer, but...Farla, you are a GENIUS!
I haven't read much Pokemon fan fiction, but I have read lots of Nightmare Before Christmas fanfics, which are often exceptionally stupid. However, the Pokemon situation sounds worse, so I'm going to stay out of it if possible.

0_o

[(Anonymous)]

"Wow, I just read the four chapters you've written so far, and they're all good. Know what? I'll do this for you. Cuz I like your writing.

'You could've at least spelled the title right.'
-Farla
YOU CAN GO TO HELL!! CelestialTime93 PROBABLY WIRTES WAY BETTER THAN YOU'LL EVER WRITE! I DON'T REALLY CARE WEATHER OR NOT THE TITLE'S SPELLED WRITE! IT'S THE WRITING THAT COUNTS! AND THE WRITING WAS GOOD!
And that concludes my flaming a reviewer.
Oh, and keep up the good work CelestialTime93!"
Look everyone, it's the pinnacle of human intelligence.