I think this would solve a lot of problems.

[farla]

We're doing internet debates for class this week. Personally, I was disappointed stem-cell research wasn't an option (Probably for the best, as my views on the subject might traumatize classmates. I mean, if you're aborting the kid anyway, you might as well hack it up for parts.) I had to settle for genetically engineered crops.

Unfortunately, as is the case for mandated discussion, one of my classmates settled for parroting a bunch of simplistic lines about the risks of genetically engineered food. Do you know that genetically engineered crops KILL BUTTERFLIES? That's like killing puppies!

Yes. Yes, I do. Because they were genetically engineered to produce a common pesticide that kills caterpillars baby butterflies. What is your point? That something happened? Something completely deliberate and expected happened? No! Ban it immediately for the good of the world!

Well. If we're going to get hysterical, let's keep in mind that there are other kinds of scary science stuff going on that's a horrible violation of nature. Remember how they're cloning cows now? (why, of course cloning is the same thing as genetic engineering, kids. Anyone who tells you elsewise is lying.) Scary, huh? I mean, what if you eat it and it turns you into a clone???

Well, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE ALSO CLONED PLANTS??? And that they are included in food WITHOUT ANY LABELS!?!?! That's right, you have probably eaten clone genetically modified super-plants! And not once, but many many times! These UNNATURAL CLONE PLANTS are not regulated by the FDA and NO tests have been done about their safety. These horrors of science will TAKE OVER YOUR BRAIN, KILLING YOU. The only way to remove these dangerous toxins from your body is to drink five gallons of ALL-NATURAL water to flush out the toxic clone cells from your body over the course of a day or two. If you start to feel headaches, that means it's working!

Comments

[negrek.livejournal.com]

Gah, the debates against genetically modified foods and cloned foods and such always drive me nuts. It's UNNATURAL! It's UNSAFE! It's OMG SCARY! Seriously. I would suggest that people so dead-set against genetic modification of plants go out and get themselves some real un-messed-around with types, like corn with tiny little ears smaller than your hand and super-miniature, really disgusting-tasting oranges, just like they had "back in the day." Because, really, if you're against genetically modified foods, you must be against all those centuries of selective breeding where we modified our plants to produce higher yields and be more appealing and such (though I guess if you're against the theory of evolution, too, all that stuff about selective breeding probably just goes whoosh! right over your head). The fact that we can now more precisely control the changes to our food crops and do so in much less time than before somehow makes the process evil, I guess.

[farla.livejournal.com]

For some reason, they actually used corn in their examples of "natural plants that grow in nature". Repeatedly.

And fun fact: even modern oranges are not, technically, orange unless specially treated. They're green.

I am going to get some just so I can tell everyone they're genetically modified. And then laugh at them when they recoil in horror.

[wintersheir]

We had a tutorial on stem cells this week, actually, and I went to a different time than usual... the TA for this particular one was a little hollow in the cranial regions if you know what I mean. She wouldn't stop talking about "OMGZ THEY PUT A HUMAN INSULIN GENE IN A COW, WHAT IF THEY MAKE A COW WITH A HUMAN HEAD NEXT HOLY CRAP", and I continued to boggle at how easy it is to become a grad student.

P.S. OMGZ IT'S AGAINST NATURE D: D: D: (I sleep in a tree and eat my food while it's still wriggling, doncha know.)

[farla.livejournal.com]

See, this is why I will never be allowed on an oversight committee.

"OMG THEY WANT TO MAKE A COW WITH A HUMAN HEAD!"

Really? Because that is so cool.

"THEY HAVE MADE A HALF-RHINO-HALF-SHARK KILLING MACHINE!"

That is so cool.

"THEIR FIVE SPECIES CHIMERA IS A MONSTROSITY THAT VIOLATES NATURE AND ALL HUMAN DECENCY!"

That is so cool.

"THEY JUST MADE AN ELEPHANT-COCKROACH-FOX THAT HAS DECLARED IT IS OUR OVERLORD AND KILLED TWENTY PEOPLE!"

That is so cool.

"AND IT IS TRYING TO CONTROL MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW!"

That is so cool.

"THERE IS A LOVECRAFTIAN HORROR DEVOURING THIS BUILDING!"

That is so cool!