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I was clearing out my inbox a bit and came upon a review I got back on the 7th, one of the first reviews using FFN's new subject line.

I have to say just a few things. You told everything about the Charmanders life correctly, but I thought the whole plot and story was pretty pathetic. I hope to see some better stories from you.

The story in question? The fourth one from the bottom, written back in 2001. I have 96 other stories, 93 of which were written after Weak. So while I wouldn't disagree that the story is rather pathetic...reviewing my fourth-oldest story and saying you hope for better stories is a bit WTF and all.

WTF is actually a pretty good description of my internet life in general, actually. Checking out my story stats has informed me that, of the eight stories that have been marked for story alerts, three are completed and have been for several years and two are one-shots. Of the five stories I actually am working on, only two are on alerts. And my subversive little story Hatred is on six favorites lists, those of AAM fans.

Incidentally, Reality seems to be acting as an attention magnet. It's on six favorites and six alerts (not bragging, more just WTF???ing) and got about the same number of reviews as the first chapter of Ice. I'd have thought people would make more of an effort to avoid something like this. Even the 'I'm reviewing because I'm sending in a character' and 'I'm reviewing to say I thought this would suck' reviews don't completely explain it. So ignore your common sense and mine. Clearly, self-insert stories that offer to be a sue orgy of unfitting, overpowered characters attract attention and praise. Go now and write them until all our heads explode.

Meanwhile, my brother's reading Facia's Xanthic Growlithe Contract. At prompting, he even mentioned a criticism of it, that the battles were better described and more realistic than in the game...I'm disowning him.

And Serebii....

The Serebii forums have reminded me again of why I don't use forums. Aside from the signatures which have brought me *this* close to a killing spree, the number of people who seem to interpret 'character request' as 'I want to write a story revolving around your character and plot' grows frightening. (I'm also somewhat disturbed by the number of people who keep giving something utterly irrelevant in the 'goals' category. I don't give a fuck if she wants to be a singer or a writer or a brain surgeon or a prostitute when she grows up, people!) This is my own foolishness, of course, but I always thought that if someone asked you for a character to put in their (presumably already thought-out) story, you wouldn't include a background and goals that seemed to be specifically designed to force that writer into writing something revolving around your character doing your plot.

Okay, yes, I knew full well what I was getting into, and yes, it's certainly not going to bother my story. But I still feel like complaining.

Although considering what's going to happen to them, I suppose it's fair enough. (Why yes, of course I'll let her be able to transform so she looks cooler. Writing about someone being consumed by another personality will be fun. Oh, you want your sweet, perfect primary character to fight another character you made up? One with super powers trying to kill her? Sure, no problem. No problem at all...)

Anyway, I have gotten a lot of good...well, useful characters. The only problem is that I'm lacking a couple of common archetypes, so I'm going to have to create a few myself to balance it out. Beyond that, things are looking good.

Date: 2005-06-29 11:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaxmalcolm.livejournal.com
In response to the Serebii thing, I can only feel sorry for you...

...And then ask how you feel about that kid who explicitly said, "I don't care what you do, just make my character a main character!" Man, I don't mean to put you down or anything, but these people crack me up. I should join the forums for entertainment. XD

As for your FFNet situation, yeah. Don't you just love the population there? I know how you feel about the "review for an old story" bit. I get that all the time. It makes me sort of wonder if anyone actually takes note of the fact that I've got over twenty stories on my account sitting above the one they decide to read.

And to the AAM fans thing, it's funny how they'll favorite anything that involves the acronym "AAML." AAML badfics with absolutely no regard to English grammar, AAML parodies, anti-AAML fics, AAMLs in which the "M" actually stands for "Max"...

So, um, yeah. Jax knows what you're talking about. She could also give you a character if you told her what you were missing. I mean, you've got the hybrids, the fan-created Pokemon, the protectors of the world, the nice Team Rocket members, the Mary Sues named after the author self-inserts, the psychotic arch-nemesis bent on killing random Mary Sue, and the average kid (who is in actuality smarter/more talented than most kids of that age).

Date: 2005-06-30 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] niftysgirl.livejournal.com
One wonders how you continue each day with things like this... Oy vey, I couldn't. I'd just sit and cry for the whole... stinking... human race... That, and maybe stab a few of my classmates with a pencil next I see them. Have you done that yet, because it is quite fun and relaxing. Heh, moving on...

Alerts for stories that are done and for one-shots? Insanity, I'm sure. And someone reviewed an old story, and basically said that you could do better, and YOU HAVE... was this person dropped on the head as a child, because it certainly sounds like it!

Reality sounds like it's coming along... Moe/Mortis... eh, I can't wait to see what you've done to her. Death comes to mind, but maybe that's just me. As for the rest of the people, may I give a little advice? Go wild. Give them what they want, but you will, I'm sure, make them realize that they did not want it in the end. Either that, or just ignore what they want to happen to their character and have your own fun... you could pull either off easily, I bet...

Date: 2005-06-30 10:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] actonthat.livejournal.com
o.o;; /You/ opened up character submissions. I haven't taken a look around quite yet to see what you've gotten in response (I will... should be amusing), but it's to be expected.

"In this fiction you will see a pokemon trainer named Emily who is totally amazing."

Just thought I'd share that story summary with you as I glanced over it.

Anyway. You haven't yet noticed how the lessers on fanfiction sites function? It is surprisingly sofisticated. They have a network made of bulky alerts, favorite lists, and C2s. Whenever a crapfic is updated, they make sure it gets ridiculous amounts of reviews. When a fic that seems even vaguely cliche pops up, they maul it like the rabid chiuauas they are.

As for the new hits thing... I have more hits on chapter two of my fic than on chapter one, which confuses me to no end. I can't wait to see what other oddieties arise from these numbers o.o;;

Date: 2005-07-01 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] farla.livejournal.com
...And then ask how you feel about that kid who explicitly said, "I don't care what you do, just make my character a main character!"

How do I feel? Like putting him in as third trainer from the left during some disaster that's over in five seconds. In fairness, it's not that unreasonable to ask that since sometimes writers will use the characters for main ones...or it wouldn't be that unreasonable, if I hadn't already gotten so many characters.

Thanks for the offer, but it won't be a problem. I'm just going to comb a few fanfics to pick up the archetypes I'm missing.

Date: 2005-07-01 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] farla.livejournal.com
^^ I prefer the term 'poking' for what goes on between me, my classmates and a sharpened pencil...

I'm thinking Moe won't be killed...she seems like the sort to avoid the excesses that kill most of the trainers.

Date: 2005-07-01 07:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] farla.livejournal.com
Have you seen The Stary Region (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2458256/1/)? At least 'Emily' has a story that's too simple to be really painful.

Oh, that's actually not that surprising. Someone might have started reading your story and bookmarked it at the second chapter. I've done stuff like that before. Or someone might have it on an alert, gone to chapter three and skipped back to chapter two just to remember where they were. Or so on. FFN doesn't record unique hits, so errors like that pop up pretty fast.

Date: 2005-07-02 03:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] actonthat.livejournal.com
I've been trying to take alook at it, but your review scares me o.o;; I dread what exists inside...

Date: 2005-07-04 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hitmonchanglove.livejournal.com
Personally, I'm only in this because I want to see if you kill Iveechan or not. I really don't care if it has a one-sentence mention or what. I also changed the creature's physical design since then, so yeah, I have little attachment to it other than my name.

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