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The Lizard
Jun. 13th, 2014 11:09 pmI like the date, so here's the story of the lizard.
We have the lizard again.
The lizard has previously escaped twice, the first time being found by a friendly downhill neighbor and the second time he reappeared the next morning on top of the harness he wriggled out of, just to fuck with us. Both times were on my brother's watch and generally assumed to be in part the consequence of him wandering off and not telling me the lizard was lost for a couple hours.
All the many, many times the lizard ran off on my watch were failed escapes, as a few minutes or hours of crawling around eventually led me to him, so I figured it wouldn't be an issue.
Unfortunately, I went to fuss with the water, which had been turned off, and in the process of turning it on, one of the open hoses was turned on, and it was where the lizard was sitting, and he does not like suddenly being blasted with water, or so we assume because he was no longer there when I looked back.
Many hours of searching later, we accepted he was gone for the day. After the past two escapes, I wasn't worried because evidently none of the wild animals want to eat him. I put helpful flyers in all the downhill neighbors' mailboxes explaining we had lost him and he was completely harmless.
That morning, our doorbell is rung. Someone was driving by and saw him two houses up the hill, because he's a fucking asshole like that. The across the street neighbors immediately volunteered that they had no idea what he was so they figured it was ours.
"You have lost outdoor privileges," I told him once again as I put him in his cage. But then the next day he kept scratching at the glass, so I took him outside again and he ate some crickets and spiders.
We have the lizard again.
The lizard has previously escaped twice, the first time being found by a friendly downhill neighbor and the second time he reappeared the next morning on top of the harness he wriggled out of, just to fuck with us. Both times were on my brother's watch and generally assumed to be in part the consequence of him wandering off and not telling me the lizard was lost for a couple hours.
All the many, many times the lizard ran off on my watch were failed escapes, as a few minutes or hours of crawling around eventually led me to him, so I figured it wouldn't be an issue.
Unfortunately, I went to fuss with the water, which had been turned off, and in the process of turning it on, one of the open hoses was turned on, and it was where the lizard was sitting, and he does not like suddenly being blasted with water, or so we assume because he was no longer there when I looked back.
Many hours of searching later, we accepted he was gone for the day. After the past two escapes, I wasn't worried because evidently none of the wild animals want to eat him. I put helpful flyers in all the downhill neighbors' mailboxes explaining we had lost him and he was completely harmless.
That morning, our doorbell is rung. Someone was driving by and saw him two houses up the hill, because he's a fucking asshole like that. The across the street neighbors immediately volunteered that they had no idea what he was so they figured it was ours.
"You have lost outdoor privileges," I told him once again as I put him in his cage. But then the next day he kept scratching at the glass, so I took him outside again and he ate some crickets and spiders.
