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farlaAooO's already getting buggy. Should probably stop doing these late at night. Should also probably do more and see if I can get through all of them before Yuletide proper.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/106386
we drive by braille
Your look into Dave's head is quite convincing, and you do a wonderful job of tying things together. He and Rose are both the fussier of the two kids and those more obsessed with being perfect, and a mindset like that combined with a time power could go scary places fast. And the connection you draw to his home life makes perfect sense, as does your explanation of his denizen's meaning.
His relationships with the other characters are well done, Jade especially so. And I like the ending.
it didn't matter how many times bro told you
Pretty sure it should be capitalized Bro there, or else have your in front of it.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/106679
Leftovers
Cute and sad, and you do a good job setting the scene. The way you write Sollux's speech is really distracting, though, and he's got most of the lines.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/107188
(You and Me Could Write a) Red Romance
A bit simple and the characters feel sort of exaggerated, but I found it funny. Your formatting's weird, though, the extra space between paragraphs make it hard to read, especially when you have so much of it be dialogue.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/106386
we drive by braille
Your look into Dave's head is quite convincing, and you do a wonderful job of tying things together. He and Rose are both the fussier of the two kids and those more obsessed with being perfect, and a mindset like that combined with a time power could go scary places fast. And the connection you draw to his home life makes perfect sense, as does your explanation of his denizen's meaning.
His relationships with the other characters are well done, Jade especially so. And I like the ending.
it didn't matter how many times bro told you
Pretty sure it should be capitalized Bro there, or else have your in front of it.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/106679
Leftovers
Cute and sad, and you do a good job setting the scene. The way you write Sollux's speech is really distracting, though, and he's got most of the lines.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/107188
(You and Me Could Write a) Red Romance
A bit simple and the characters feel sort of exaggerated, but I found it funny. Your formatting's weird, though, the extra space between paragraphs make it hard to read, especially when you have so much of it be dialogue.
