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farlahttp://archiveofourown.org/works/108641?view_full_work=true
Scratch
He wondered for a moment how he was able to breathe frozen air, but chose to ignore it for the sake of his sanity, chalking it up to "weird magic shit". Well that one's easy, obviously the Medium's air is there for wind only, there's no need to model actual respiration in the game.
Anyway, this is a cool plot, and it's nice to explore some of the ramifications of how Dave got the timetables handed to him rather than managing to create them himself. He really is flying blind.
TG: shut up and get over to lohac
TG: i dont know how long this will keep working
This, though, feels a bit dumb even for an inexperienced Knight of Time. If everything's paused unless he manually spins the records, how long it works and how much he spins are the same thing. It should be obvious that he can get there far faster than she could come out to him.
I'm amused by how Rose's first impulse upon realizing he broke the universe is to speculate on if abusing the timetables in different ways would break it as well. Well, someone needs to try to apply some science to weird time shit.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/101085
What Could Have Been
This is cute. I'm not much of a fan of AUs like this, but you do a great job of making each setting feel developed and its own. And I love how you've written Davesprite in this.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/109088
A Knight At The Movies
Sweet and IC, but I think you could have developed it a bit more, it's quite brief and it feels like more time could have been spent with the idea.
"Yes, that's exactly right." he motions to the sea of cars behind him, "Now that's out in the open, can we skip the movie?"
This should be "Yes, that's exactly right." He motions to the sea of cars behind him. "Now that's out in the open, can we skip the movie?"
http://archiveofourown.org/works/109481
four titles
Wonderful. It's a great concept, that their relative skills would affect them all the time, not just when they pull out a gamechanging move, but you also write it all out beautifully. Sad, as well...I do hope that like Rose, the other three gain the ability to tune it out with time, since theirs seem even more trying than hers.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/110500
Mistletoe and Wine
This is a nice middle ground between depressing futures and the after-sburb fics where the kids barely remember. It's nice to see John being a strong one for the others and it makes sense, he's the most grounded and normal of them all.
Drunken Rose is adorable, and John's reaction is terribly sweet.
Now about halfway through the Homestuck fic.
Scratch
He wondered for a moment how he was able to breathe frozen air, but chose to ignore it for the sake of his sanity, chalking it up to "weird magic shit". Well that one's easy, obviously the Medium's air is there for wind only, there's no need to model actual respiration in the game.
Anyway, this is a cool plot, and it's nice to explore some of the ramifications of how Dave got the timetables handed to him rather than managing to create them himself. He really is flying blind.
TG: shut up and get over to lohac
TG: i dont know how long this will keep working
This, though, feels a bit dumb even for an inexperienced Knight of Time. If everything's paused unless he manually spins the records, how long it works and how much he spins are the same thing. It should be obvious that he can get there far faster than she could come out to him.
I'm amused by how Rose's first impulse upon realizing he broke the universe is to speculate on if abusing the timetables in different ways would break it as well. Well, someone needs to try to apply some science to weird time shit.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/101085
What Could Have Been
This is cute. I'm not much of a fan of AUs like this, but you do a great job of making each setting feel developed and its own. And I love how you've written Davesprite in this.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/109088
A Knight At The Movies
Sweet and IC, but I think you could have developed it a bit more, it's quite brief and it feels like more time could have been spent with the idea.
"Yes, that's exactly right." he motions to the sea of cars behind him, "Now that's out in the open, can we skip the movie?"
This should be "Yes, that's exactly right." He motions to the sea of cars behind him. "Now that's out in the open, can we skip the movie?"
http://archiveofourown.org/works/109481
four titles
Wonderful. It's a great concept, that their relative skills would affect them all the time, not just when they pull out a gamechanging move, but you also write it all out beautifully. Sad, as well...I do hope that like Rose, the other three gain the ability to tune it out with time, since theirs seem even more trying than hers.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/110500
Mistletoe and Wine
This is a nice middle ground between depressing futures and the after-sburb fics where the kids barely remember. It's nice to see John being a strong one for the others and it makes sense, he's the most grounded and normal of them all.
Drunken Rose is adorable, and John's reaction is terribly sweet.
Now about halfway through the Homestuck fic.
