Authors

[farla]

So.

LovelyTentacles continues the trend of Homestuck writers being not fucking insane. Yay! But unfortunately, commenting on the fucking insane has apparently summoned them. Out of the aether.

Name: TomA62975
Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/812455/
--------------------

Subject: Reviews

What in God's name is wrong with you? You come onto this site which is
supposed to be for people to write fanfictions and to read and just generally
enjoy the stories.

So what gives you the right to suddenly come and insult every Tom, Joe and
Harry that makes one little spelling mistake? And i've figured out why you
don't have any. Because half of your stories are f*ucking 500 words long.

This website is not meant to discourage people from ever writing again, it is
designed to give new writers a chance at writing for something they like.

If you don't like it then i don't know why you even deserve to be on this
website, people like you disgust me.

--------------------

For the record? Didn't even review this nutjob.

Shortly afterward I get into an exchange with someone else.

Kballkdball

Hello.
I believe we've argued before.
Now, I have one question, and I don't want any bitter remarks. I want complete honesty, because I'm being honest.

Why are you so cold? You've hurt me with your reviews, you've hurt my friends, and you've hurt God knows who else. But, I have a question: Why? What satisfaction does it give you to insult people who are trying to write likable stories? I mean, with the one review you left on one of my stories, I had serious thoughts of deleting it. And, when my friend Msmes defended us innocent authors on the "Complain about Farla" forum, which is very misleading, you lashed out at her fiercly. Does it make you happy to make others unhappy? Why do you do this, Farla? Why do you try to enforce your own rules of writing on everybody else? You know, there are many different opinions in this world, and lots of people won't agree with someone else's. You can't make everyone write in your way, because if we did, this website would be dull and bleak with no enjoyment. Everyone has their own style, and it's not fair at all for you to enforce your rules with cruel reviews.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you'll respond.

Farla

Are you seriously throwing a fit about a story you didn't even bother spellchecking that I reviewed months ago? Seriously?

I could have reported your story for breaking site rules and gotten it deleted. Stop whining.

Kballkdball

For your information, I DID spellcheck. At least three times. And, I just want to know in general why you say the things you do. It's like you have an insult for every occasion.

They spellchecked at least three times, folks. I would snark but seriously, how do you mock this. What is left.

Both profiles are absolute works of art. TomNumbersNumbersNumbers makes a fine showing in the oh my god who let you on the site does your mom know category:

Know Alias: Thomas James Ashcroft

School/College/University: St.Augustines of Canterbury Catholic High School

Home Town: St.helens, England

Hobbies:Cricket, Basketball (any sports that is none contact), Gaming - with my main genre being rpg/action/adventure -, XBL (the name is easy to figure out if you look around this bio) and reading fanfiction

Favourite movies:Inception, The Shawshank Redemption, The Dark Knight, Source Code, Alot of disney movies (although they're really dark nowadays)

Age: 16

Birthday: 10th March 1995

Nature (or whatever you would call it): I have a massive imagination (not boasting, trust me.) that is not fulfilled easily, i wrote some stupid stuff 3 years ago that you will probably find below unless i delete them and don't update this. I love Alternate Universe, so any kind of different lands that can be describe satisfactorily is ok by me. I have a condition known as Aspergas Syndrome (aspie to some).

At some point i MIGHT actually write something but for now i will just continue reading and predicting the endings to TV programs such as Doctor Who and predicting movies based on the trailers (email me to hear what i told my friends about source code before we watched it heheh), also i am working with a friend to produce a manga so if anyone can generate names for random stuff email/pm/whatever you call it me and i will send you the idea for you to add to a list of growing possible names that are probably not going to be used.

I really wish i could beta read for people but obviously i am not good with filling out forms due to Aspergas, however i suppose if you email me the stuff i can read it, however i only take Game genre stuff with all ratings so yeah...

And im not even sure if you read to this part so im puting it in bold, underline AND italics (cool right?). I really hate flames and you have my 100% guarentee i do not flame your story and i hope you dont flame my - eventually to come - stories. Thank you

MY FANFICTIONS

Yes i finally have one up, which took a while. Anyway here are the details

Always coming in Silver

This is Self insertion, about a trainer named Tom who has found out that his old friend Gold is returning to Johto after having minimal contact with Tom over the past 3 years, when Gold arrives Tom is finally encouraged to leave New Bark Town and start his own adventure.

Adventure - Rated T for safety - Updates may vary on the amount of reviews I recieve - other info: Everyone starts thier writing somewhere, this just happens to be mine. Enjoy!

I challenge you to find anything in the above that isn't hilarious. Aspergas makes me wonder if this is actually some sort of extremely devoted trolling attempt.

Kball attempts to hide her own crazy under a boring copypasta list that eats up half her profile, but who doesn't automatically scroll by those these days? And then we get into the awesome, as she takes the cake in seriously just move on already this is weird:

Rant: Farla.

Okay, right here is where I'm going to voice my opinion about Farla. If you agree, yay for you. If you don't and you worship her and her criticism, then screw you.

Now, I've only got one review form Farla, and that review sparked my hatred. Do you want to know why?

It was one of my first reviews. It affected my story-updating. It's become rather slow, as compared to "Nattie's Journey", its sequel, which is heading into twenty chapters. Farla's review really hurt me.

Now, I insult people a lot, but I'm going to use a word I don't use often to describe people: Farla is a bitch. And, urabandictionary.com actually calls her a "Grammer Nazi" in its definition.

If you want to read Farla's review, then here it is:

"[Kball: Hello! I'm finally writing a story with one of my most hyper, bubbly, slightly annoying OCs of them all: Natalie Freaking Oak. Seriously. She says THAT's her middle name. ]

Going to go out on a limb here and guess sue.

Opening your story with a character waking up for the day is generic and horribly, horribly overdone, and to be perfectly honest it's so incredibly dull and boring a start that even if I hadn't seen it, very literally here, hundreds upon hundreds of times before, I would still tell you you should have started at some other, interesting point.

You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," he said. "This is it." not "Hi," he said, "this is it." or "Hi," he said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," he said, "is it." If there's no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like "Hi. This - " He looked around. "- is it."

*~Several Minutes Later~* ]

Learn to write actual scene transitions.

[porbably ]

And how to hit spellcheck.

So yeah, nothing has happened. Start your story when your story actually starts."

Is that not hurtful? Sure, the first chapter needs work. I'm fully aware of that. I'm working on that. Actually, I was before she posted that, but now I'm not going to, just to piss Farla off. Eat that, Farla!

Now, I know I may sound spiteful. But, that's merely because Farla has not only hurt me, but many others. One of her little "associates" actually convinced me to delete a story that many people enjoyed, and I'm a little afraid to repost it.

Farla also has hurt some of my close friends. For example, she has badly dissed my good(Actually, scratch that. AWESOME is more like it) friend Msmes when she tried to stick up for the innocent writer of Pokemon stories on this website. I'll put what she told me here(I hope Msmes is okay with this!!):

"I complained about Farla on that forum!!! I wrote something about her being really rude in her reviews, and I think I did something wrong, because it was Farla who responded to me. She said, "There are multiple threads that you should vomit your stupidity in. This is not that thread." I'm really, REALLY mad. All I said was that she was killing creativity! And I also mentioned that I haven't written in the category of Pokemon and that I read one of your reviews, and that was how I heard about her. I mean, how rude can you get! UGH! ;("

Okay, I can handle it when Farla screws with me. But, dear Ms. Farla, if you screw with my friends, I'm taking out a screwdriver. And, she's dissed my good friend Chase(Whose username I can't remember), who from what I know is her nephew! This girl is seriously screwing with the wrong midget.

Well, that's all I have to say on the subject at the moment. Thank you for taking the time to read over my rant on Farla. Thank you, and remember to watch out for the internet demon.

If you join or wish to join the National Alliance Against Farla(NAAF), then do three things:

1) Message Kballkdball telling me or her, whichever is more convenient to where you read this, telling that you joined or wish to join.

2) Copy and paste this onto your profile.

3) Add your username to this list: Kballkdball,

Together, we can live in a world where you don't have to be afraid to check reviews from the fear of Farla trashing your story!

She sure showed me by refusing to fix her crappy story that I'm never going to see again either way! But it's really the bit about her friend that totally makes it. Anyway, she's so upset she's made her own forum for me! A REAL Complain About Farla Forum, even.

In conclusion, oh Pokemon category. I may have adopted Homestuck terms but you're truly the one I love to hate.

Comments

[simon-alexander.livejournal.com]

I read Kballkdball's profile in which she rants about you and laughed my ass off. Man, I mean, talk about getting hung up on someone! XD

[farla.livejournal.com]

You don't understand her pain! I gave her the most horrible review imaginable!!!!!! Every word from my mouth is an insult designed to DESTROY CREATIVITY FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Her good friend whose screen name she can't remember. Do you have any idea where she got the idea he was your nephew?

Also I think it's pretty cool that you are THE internet demon. The internet is a large and frightening place, so that's quite an accomplishment!

[farla.livejournal.com]

She's not really doing the best job at sentence construction generally, so maybe she means Chase is her friend's nephew?

On the internet I am the demon. It's me.

*obligatory*

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

She's already here.

[(Anonymous)]

Someone seems to be defending you on that "REAL Complain About Farla" forum, which is good. Hopefully everyone will realize what an idiot she's being and it'll all blow over.

[farla.livejournal.com]

That's almost sad. There's plenty of people who already agree I'm evil, and she isn't even able to get them to flock to her banner.

[(Anonymous)]

Perhaps it's because even they realize she's acting extremely immature.

You know, I'm almost tempted to edit that Urban Dictionary entry to make it full of praise. That would be hilarious.

[farla.livejournal.com]

Nah, that'd just make us look like them. The entry right now is perfect.

[actonthat.livejournal.com]

I like the forum is the "REAL" one because you aren't there to defend yourself.

[farla.livejournal.com]

What's interesting is I'm not banned! I actually could.

It says things about the kind of people who disagree with me when half of them can't figure out how to ban me even after I gave a link in my profile to the page.

[(Anonymous)]

So, was the Chase guy your nephew? Very confusing...

Honestly, people need to keep whining. Instead of sugarcoating crap you're delivering descriptive critique. Tres bon, Farla! Tres bon!

Besides, with the insanity of the Pokemon section lately, you're kind of needed. The latest stories suck! Could you please have an early NaReWriMo? You could totally rid the section of some unwanted tales.

Y-ko has helped as a critiquer, but we need the famous one at the moment. You deserve your own Wikipedia page. In other words, I'm a fan.

[farla.livejournal.com]

What, more than usual? Because they're going to have to work pretty hard to outdo what I saw in January.

NaRe is a pretty big timesink for me, and I have a bunch of other things I'm behind on already. And I'm really not trying to get people to delete their stories in the first place.

One of the people on the forum claimed they'll do a NaRe in June. And really, anyone who reviews for a while will become famous, it's just a matter of being around consistently to piss people off.

[charizamdc.livejournal.com]

Now, I know I may sound spiteful. But, that's merely because Farla has not only hurt me, but many others. One of her little "associates" actually convinced me to delete a story that many people enjoyed, and I'm a little afraid to repost it.

Going from lackeys to associates, even if they're inverted comma associates, is a pretty big deal. It's like moving up from gang leader to mob boss.

I also like how they're half complaining about how much of a victim and how terrified of you they are and half promising to kick your arse. There's nothing scarier than someone quivering at the other end of a computer screen.

[farla.livejournal.com]

Apparently not a very good mob boss. I don't even know who the person was or what was going on there.

And yeah, that's the ever-present balancing act. It has to be a HUGE DEAL for this amount of hatred to be justified, but at the same time, a major part of trash talking someone is that you're not going to back down or be affected by anything they do. It'd help if they remove themself from the equation - make it entirely about standing up for the other authors while saying they personally can take it, but even then that ends up begging the question of why it's such a big deal for other people if it's possible not to be bothered.

[(Anonymous)]

Meh, idiocy. Nonetheless, these people are presumably trying their best, so it can't hurt to be polite when giving criticism.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Won't help, either. This kind considers anything less than sugar-coating to be impolite. The people who complain the most about Farla are often the ones who get some of her milder reviews. It's bewildering, but I've seen it myself.

[farla.livejournal.com]

No, the second one admits she knew the story had a lot of errors, and the first...well. I really don't see where you get the idea they're trying their best.

[(Anonymous)]

I've seen this anger before, seen a few friends on the recieving ends of these fabled rage inducing reviews, and I can kind of understand why they react the way they do. They see you as someone that leaves such reviews as a way to try to tell them that they may as well have never tried in the first place, and don't see what parts are critique for what feels, to them at least, like contempt or outright hatred. And the way you reply to such things, if you bother to at all, does little to nothing to keep them from demonizing you in their minds.

From what I have seen, and keep in mind I have not seen too much so far, you criticize the little things that bother you, and you don't about it very, professionally. Little things like capitalizing generalized Pokemon names when referring to the species over an individual that is established to have that as their given name doesn't seem like something to get bent out of shape over, not like you seem to do. Since wild Pokemon aren't named individually, not that they could tell you anyway, it seems like you're just looking for something to be annoyed with so you can justify leaving such a spiteful sounding review.

And it seems like when someone tries to ask you to tone it down, you take it personally and try to hurt the person as much as you can to make them give up on writing entirely when you could just as easily say 'well, that would be your opinion, which I do not agree with'. When someone asks why you seem so angry, you don't make a normal argument. Instead you seem to act like they have just insulted everything you've ever loved when you respond to them. Just because someone asks you to chill out and suggests that you don't just rip people a new one in a review of their very first attempt at writing, they're not saying that you're the queen of evil. They're just trying to get you to not make people give up on their hopes that people will like what they've written.

The two friends I've seen hit by your reviews were just starting out, not award winning masters of writing. If all beginning writers were good enough that you didn't complain, their work would probably catch fire from a lot of other people. They're just posting what they've written because they feel like other people might like it and be able to enjoy it, and maybe they want to know if they've done a good job of it. Telling them their work is terrible and should be removed because they're just starting out basically says that you think every person that has ever written should never have started. I'm not saying this is your reason to review, because I wouldn't claim to know why anyone does anything, so if you'd kindly refrain from loosing your venom on me for the moment, I'm just making a point.

As was said, everyone has a different style of writing, which is a good thing. If everyone wrote exactly the same way, every story would be the same thing, over and over, which would be boring, repetitive, and otherwise dull. If you had nothing to complain about, just about everyone else would. You can't say that a world where everyone is exactly the same is a world worth living in.

All I ask is perhaps an explanation why you're so angry at any story that has the slightest deviation from what you like. I'd settle just knowing why everytime someone annoys you, you go straight for the jugular and tear people apart. There's no reason why you can't make suggestions and see if the writer can learn and become a little better before calling them worthless failures who should never have dared to think they had any hope of being a good writer whatsoever.

[farla.livejournal.com]

I can kind of understand why they react the way they do.

Wonderful. Then we're on the same page, since I say all the time that I understand why people get angry.

And the way you reply to such things, if you bother to at all

Let me just stop you there. I don't reply. There is no "the way I reply to such things" because it does not exist.

you don't about it very, professionally.

How would you suggest I go about it? How should I have worded You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. to make it more professional?

. Little things like capitalizing generalized Pokemon names when referring to the species over an individual that is established to have that as their given name

Is a stream of nonsense that has nothing to do with my actual point. Please look up and read the paragraph on the subject. People are welcome to have a pikachu named Pikachu. They are not welcome to capitalize common, non-name nouns, because that's not how English grammar works.

doesn't seem like something to get bent out of shape over, not like you seem to do

I don't get bent out of shape over any of this. I say to not capitalize pokemon species and to write dialogue properly and that "it's" means "it is" and then I move on to the next story. It's your camp that keeps following me around demanding I stop and going on about how I'm the most horrible person ever that seems bent out of shape.

And it seems like when someone tries to ask you to tone it down, you take it personally and try to hurt the person as much as you can to make them give up on writing entirely

I was unaware not responding to PMs was a personal crusade to hurt others.

Just because someone asks you to chill out and suggests that you don't just rip people a new one in a review of their very first attempt at writing, they're not saying that you're the queen of evil.

Anon friend. If people didn't say hilarious things like that I'm an evil queen (evil fat arrogant queen, specifically), I wouldn't have these hilarious things to post here. Really, see that "authors misc" tag? That's because I have so many of these I have multiple subsections just for different periods of authorial ragings.

Please reread the post. I am accused of telling someone they're stupid, for which a person threatened to take a screwdriver to me. That's not asking me to chill, that's threatening to injure or kill me. I am pretty laid back about all this, frankly.

If all beginning writers were good enough that you didn't complain, their work would probably catch fire from a lot of other people.

I can't even figure out what you're saying, let alone why it's my fault. Also, no, plenty of people manage a decent first story.

maybe they want to know if they've done a good job of it.

And then I told them. That they did a bad job isn't my fault. If they care about doing a good job, they should try putting actual effort into their work instead of expecting praise for anything they do. Indeed, they could start by fixing the various errors I pointed out in whatever review I gave.

Telling them their work is terrible and should be removed

Except I don't do that. I never tell people to delete their stories and reserve "terrible" for stuff that's unreadable script format. What I generally do is list off grammar errors, point out plot holes, then move on.

basically says that you think every person that has ever written should never have started

Nope! It means I think people should punctuate their dialogue correctly. You don't need years of writing experience to manage that, you need an elementary school education and five minutes of googling to double-check the rules on it.

[farla.livejournal.com]

If everyone wrote exactly the same way, every story would be the same thing, over and over, which would be boring, repetitive, and otherwise dull.

If the only thing different about a story is that you can't use commas properly, then your story is boring, repetitive and quite dull already. Incompetence is not a style of writing.

There's no reason why you can't make suggestions and see if the writer can learn and become a little better before calling them worthless failures who should never have dared to think they had any hope of being a good writer whatsoever.

Which is why I already do that instead of the nonsense you're claiming I do.

Really, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is of you to be going on and on about how I need to calm down and not overreact to things when you talk like this? I believe, dear anon, you should stop getting bent out of shape over such things.

Or, in short: Links to the reviews or it didn't happen, quite literally. Try the "review" tag or one of the nare tags.

[(Anonymous)]

The problem seems to be perceived implications. Writing "You need a beta reader, your grammar is making this difficult to read." straight out and posting it is heard as "You are absolutely terrible, in fact, so terrible I'm not even going to bother with being cordial and sweet like everyone else" which further reads into "You are a terrible person, take down your story and leave."

Though Anon is asking you to "make suggestions" what they really mean is "Go concrit in the way that is normally considered acceptable, which involves a whole bunch of community specific ettiquite instead of doing your own thing", which you are certainly not and probably never will bother to do, especially at the time consuming event called "NaRe"

People think you're getting "bent out of shape" because you are doing something that reviewers in the area would only dare do if they are truly getting bent out of shape: being straightforward and not making any sort of compliment.

I've had a friend who had a similar issue: Do anything different and you are considered the rudest person to have ever walked the earth.

Farla, you're socializing with what is, or seems to be, mostly children, teens, and conformists. They don't take the time to look at your profile after you post what to them seems like a flame. They don't want to know why you do what you do. They just want to call you off for being what they think you are. That and get revenge.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think these people who hate you so much remember you're human, just like them. They've blown you up into something evil, a sort of devil, almost.

[farla.livejournal.com]

Well, it's a comforting way of thinking. If I'm evil, then nothing I say matters, and they can heroically strike me down and everyone will think they're awesome for it.

[foxyuna.livejournal.com]

I guess that I would feel a bit of an inclination to side with those oh so poor, abused writers you've whipped- if only they didn't sound a tad ridiculous...