Anon crit now...
Jul. 2nd, 2011 09:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
farlaAn interesting little trend, I'm getting crit that's given anon for some reason. Wonder if it's something people do to avoid the flamewars.
Story: Fox Games
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1
From: Lori ()
-------------------
I like this one. If I were you, as an author, I would want constructive
criticism. But I'm not sure if you do. So my next paragraph will be stuff I
like, the following one will be what I...didn't like as much.
Well, first of all, the idea was amazing. While scrolling through the Hunger
Games's fanfics, this one caught my eye because of what you said in the
description. You also integrate the details of the actual book in really
well. I also love the part where Katniss is all like "Foxface is SO clever! OH
GOD NO THAT'S NOT THE PLAN!" And I also love how you were had Foxface call
Katniss Firegirl. That's exactly like what I would imagine her do, and yet I
probably wouldn't have thought of it. It fits her character perfectly.
Now for the more unpleasant part. Well, there are the obvious convention
mistakes, but most everyone has those. You also completely ignored the
feelings that Katniss was beginning to develop for Peeta, and made her a
coldhearted human, only thinking of Peeta warmly at the beginning (a bit) and
at the point where you talk about him being more human- which isn't really
that warm, anyway.
-------------------
This is sort of the problem with it, of course. I don't even know what "convention mistakes" are. And I'd like to talk to her about how she thinks Katniss should be thinking about Peeta, when the guy spends his only on-screen time dead. She may have a valid point and a good idea of how I should have done it differently or this may just be Team Peeta bullshit, and without asking what she'd suggest I can't tell.
Story: Inheritors
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1
From: The Shining Sprite ()
-------------------
I'm not flaming the story or anything when I write this, and apologize in
advance if it seems like it to you.
First, you have beautiful metaphors. The images your words create are
breathtaking.
But what kind of threw me off is how you went overboard with your amount of
excessive vocabulary. Normally I don't mind the occasional use of it and
sometimes, it even fits perfectly with the sentence. Unfortunately, you used
it so much that it had me wondering what had just happened. And please
introduce your characters. It would be nice to see your characters develop
slowly, filled with life and characteristics that set it apart from one
another.
If you're still reading this, than thank you for your time. I do hope you
consider what I've written. Best of luck, dear.
-------------------
Similarly I've had a lot of comments about introducing characters. In this case I'm particularly baffled because regardless of how well a job I'm doing, I'm pretty sure no one would say Deus' character development is rushed. "Introduce your character clearly" and "develop your character slowly" seem like opposite styles.
Also I keep getting these reviews on the first chapter, which seems like an odd point when talking about character development.
Story: SPerl
Chapter: 1. White
From: The Onel Who Speaks In Silence ()
-------------------
Before I start I would like to appologize for doing as many previous comment
leavers have done and using the reviewers have done by using the review box as
a way to disscuss you as a person more than your writing.
I decided to write on a story less touched by the vast angry mobs because I
would like you to read this with a different mindset than angry rant. This is
advice from someone who is attempting to understand your mentality. I think
the problems, if you consider them as such, all seem off from a single base: I
believe you have a hard time empathizing with others. The reason that I am
assuming this is because I have the same problem.
If you are anything like me, you felt like other people didn't see the
mechanics of how things worked, and the beauty of nature moving by the rules
as it should. So you created your own little world in which rules which you
believed were important are followed by you, the creater and inhabitant of
that world. Then, when you stepoedout into the world of society, you realized
that many the strict rules that you layed out for yourself no longer applied,
but stepping out of line in the rules of your poetic world of clock-like
precision was below you and felt as if that meant you were above many of the
nasty, lazy, people who neglect the things you hold so dear. On top of that,
those who don't follow the rules are accepted by the world, while you were
just disregarded.
That is why you write reviews in the way that you do. People do not follow the
rules, so you tell them that with as much specific detail as possible. In your
world, that is ok because you do that to yourself to ensure that your work is
flawless unlike all the idiots around you. This gives you that feeling of
superiority, because you believe that you are the only one who notices these
things that the world at large disregards. This would also explain why, to
most, your characters seem flat without emotions they can connect to. Most of
the develpement occurs inside instead of on the surface and they don't have
regular traits such as excessive displays of emotion and social interaction,
because these are concepts you have difficulty grasping.
The thing that helped me communicate is to observe actions, compare, contrast,
analyze, and get into the heads of others before interacting. Then start to
show them the mechanics of things in a way that is designed for them
specifically, but not only to their negitive aspects, but their positive as
well and how they can use their strengths to overcome their mistakes.
I hope that this was helpful, and if my opinion is incorrect, which there is a
siginifigant possibility of, then I am truely sorry for making false
assumptions and sugesting solutions that do not apply to you. Thank you for
taking time to read this.
-------------------
I can't really get mad at this person for projecting when they're up front about saying this because they think we're similar, and also based on that, they're obviously really, really bad at understanding how anyone else works. Still, if they think doing this via review is such a bad idea, why do it by review? I can only assume it's because they're desperate to avoid a reply, either because they expect rage or because any negative response would be too much for them.
Anyway, this one is kind of depressing because really, basic grammar and spelling isn't demanding clocklike precision from anyone, and I'm forever annoyed at the idea these are just arbitrary rules I'm trying to enforce for the hell of it.
I am curious if they read the story the review is on, since Maka gets pretty upset for someone with no emotions. I'm wondering if they only read Inheritors, since that seems to be the reviews they're talking about. Actually, it's funny that the stories that, from my viewpoint, have rather temperamental characters, get this, while it doesn't come up on Ice chapters. I guess all the killing distracts people. But at least with Inheritors Deus is trying very hard to be like that. Maka, not so much.
(Assuming I'm right that it's Inheritors, that'd suggest I wrote Deus well enough he's convincingly similar to what sounds like someone on the autistic spectrum, which is pretty cool.)
Anyway, wondering if it'd be good for this to be a more widespread trend. I mean, I do personally wish I could ask here, but plenty of logged in people don't reply anyway, and they were perfectly good things to consider on their own. And as trends go, leaving more concrit is always good and certainly worth the small price of not having a name attached. My main problem is actually in response convention - if it's logged in, I can say "what'd you mean?" and if I don't get a reply then that's the end of it, while here I'm left wondering if I'm supposed to try to respond elsewhere and hope they see it. Since these in particular are all on the first chapter, in this case I'm assuming they're not following the story and wouldn't see any author note, but still.
(I'm also wondering if I should make a post here and link it from my profile for people to leave me general anon messages so they won't use my review page like that. I sort of think it wouldn't work.)
Story: Fox Games
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1
From: Lori ()
-------------------
I like this one. If I were you, as an author, I would want constructive
criticism. But I'm not sure if you do. So my next paragraph will be stuff I
like, the following one will be what I...didn't like as much.
Well, first of all, the idea was amazing. While scrolling through the Hunger
Games's fanfics, this one caught my eye because of what you said in the
description. You also integrate the details of the actual book in really
well. I also love the part where Katniss is all like "Foxface is SO clever! OH
GOD NO THAT'S NOT THE PLAN!" And I also love how you were had Foxface call
Katniss Firegirl. That's exactly like what I would imagine her do, and yet I
probably wouldn't have thought of it. It fits her character perfectly.
Now for the more unpleasant part. Well, there are the obvious convention
mistakes, but most everyone has those. You also completely ignored the
feelings that Katniss was beginning to develop for Peeta, and made her a
coldhearted human, only thinking of Peeta warmly at the beginning (a bit) and
at the point where you talk about him being more human- which isn't really
that warm, anyway.
-------------------
This is sort of the problem with it, of course. I don't even know what "convention mistakes" are. And I'd like to talk to her about how she thinks Katniss should be thinking about Peeta, when the guy spends his only on-screen time dead. She may have a valid point and a good idea of how I should have done it differently or this may just be Team Peeta bullshit, and without asking what she'd suggest I can't tell.
Story: Inheritors
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1
From: The Shining Sprite ()
-------------------
I'm not flaming the story or anything when I write this, and apologize in
advance if it seems like it to you.
First, you have beautiful metaphors. The images your words create are
breathtaking.
But what kind of threw me off is how you went overboard with your amount of
excessive vocabulary. Normally I don't mind the occasional use of it and
sometimes, it even fits perfectly with the sentence. Unfortunately, you used
it so much that it had me wondering what had just happened. And please
introduce your characters. It would be nice to see your characters develop
slowly, filled with life and characteristics that set it apart from one
another.
If you're still reading this, than thank you for your time. I do hope you
consider what I've written. Best of luck, dear.
-------------------
Similarly I've had a lot of comments about introducing characters. In this case I'm particularly baffled because regardless of how well a job I'm doing, I'm pretty sure no one would say Deus' character development is rushed. "Introduce your character clearly" and "develop your character slowly" seem like opposite styles.
Also I keep getting these reviews on the first chapter, which seems like an odd point when talking about character development.
Story: SPerl
Chapter: 1. White
From: The Onel Who Speaks In Silence ()
-------------------
Before I start I would like to appologize for doing as many previous comment
leavers have done and using the reviewers have done by using the review box as
a way to disscuss you as a person more than your writing.
I decided to write on a story less touched by the vast angry mobs because I
would like you to read this with a different mindset than angry rant. This is
advice from someone who is attempting to understand your mentality. I think
the problems, if you consider them as such, all seem off from a single base: I
believe you have a hard time empathizing with others. The reason that I am
assuming this is because I have the same problem.
If you are anything like me, you felt like other people didn't see the
mechanics of how things worked, and the beauty of nature moving by the rules
as it should. So you created your own little world in which rules which you
believed were important are followed by you, the creater and inhabitant of
that world. Then, when you stepoedout into the world of society, you realized
that many the strict rules that you layed out for yourself no longer applied,
but stepping out of line in the rules of your poetic world of clock-like
precision was below you and felt as if that meant you were above many of the
nasty, lazy, people who neglect the things you hold so dear. On top of that,
those who don't follow the rules are accepted by the world, while you were
just disregarded.
That is why you write reviews in the way that you do. People do not follow the
rules, so you tell them that with as much specific detail as possible. In your
world, that is ok because you do that to yourself to ensure that your work is
flawless unlike all the idiots around you. This gives you that feeling of
superiority, because you believe that you are the only one who notices these
things that the world at large disregards. This would also explain why, to
most, your characters seem flat without emotions they can connect to. Most of
the develpement occurs inside instead of on the surface and they don't have
regular traits such as excessive displays of emotion and social interaction,
because these are concepts you have difficulty grasping.
The thing that helped me communicate is to observe actions, compare, contrast,
analyze, and get into the heads of others before interacting. Then start to
show them the mechanics of things in a way that is designed for them
specifically, but not only to their negitive aspects, but their positive as
well and how they can use their strengths to overcome their mistakes.
I hope that this was helpful, and if my opinion is incorrect, which there is a
siginifigant possibility of, then I am truely sorry for making false
assumptions and sugesting solutions that do not apply to you. Thank you for
taking time to read this.
-------------------
I can't really get mad at this person for projecting when they're up front about saying this because they think we're similar, and also based on that, they're obviously really, really bad at understanding how anyone else works. Still, if they think doing this via review is such a bad idea, why do it by review? I can only assume it's because they're desperate to avoid a reply, either because they expect rage or because any negative response would be too much for them.
Anyway, this one is kind of depressing because really, basic grammar and spelling isn't demanding clocklike precision from anyone, and I'm forever annoyed at the idea these are just arbitrary rules I'm trying to enforce for the hell of it.
I am curious if they read the story the review is on, since Maka gets pretty upset for someone with no emotions. I'm wondering if they only read Inheritors, since that seems to be the reviews they're talking about. Actually, it's funny that the stories that, from my viewpoint, have rather temperamental characters, get this, while it doesn't come up on Ice chapters. I guess all the killing distracts people. But at least with Inheritors Deus is trying very hard to be like that. Maka, not so much.
(Assuming I'm right that it's Inheritors, that'd suggest I wrote Deus well enough he's convincingly similar to what sounds like someone on the autistic spectrum, which is pretty cool.)
Anyway, wondering if it'd be good for this to be a more widespread trend. I mean, I do personally wish I could ask here, but plenty of logged in people don't reply anyway, and they were perfectly good things to consider on their own. And as trends go, leaving more concrit is always good and certainly worth the small price of not having a name attached. My main problem is actually in response convention - if it's logged in, I can say "what'd you mean?" and if I don't get a reply then that's the end of it, while here I'm left wondering if I'm supposed to try to respond elsewhere and hope they see it. Since these in particular are all on the first chapter, in this case I'm assuming they're not following the story and wouldn't see any author note, but still.
(I'm also wondering if I should make a post here and link it from my profile for people to leave me general anon messages so they won't use my review page like that. I sort of think it wouldn't work.)
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