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farlaThe Snowy Day and Other Sordid Tales of the Midnight Crew (SS, HB, DD (CD))
Cute and nicely understated.
Temporalgernon (Eggs, mostly. Stitch, Sawbuck, Snowman, Quarters...)
Hm. Very interesting. I like how you're writing the characters, they all feel like they have their own lives and it isn't overreliant on the same pool of fanon. And I'm impressed by how convincingly you write Eggs changing.
Flashing a grin, he insisted, "oh, but
Sometimes you don't capitalize the beginning of dialogue for some reason, like here. You should be more careful proofreading.
Chapter 4: HOLDER
Very inventive. I like the idea of exploring the Felt's powers like this, and I hope you post the rest of it.
Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey (SS (DD, HB, CD, OC, English, The Doctor))
Hm. It's interesting to picture them getting old and still running around robbing banks, and certainly it'd be nice if there was a way for them to stick around. But the execution is just too sugary. I'm sure there's a way to do this without it being quite so twee.
Rising Up (DD (HB, SS))
Exiles, Jack being a dick, DD losing his temper, then it turns out they've stumbled on water.
Starry, starry night (PM (AR, WV))
A sickening feeling sunk into her like a shark would eat a seal.
When you're writing, you should consider what metaphors fit the situation. For example, if you're writing from the point of view of a character, don't reference things they probably don't know exist.
It had been a shame that it had to end with an unecessary death for the dersite.
You're also dropping capitalization and misspelling words. You need to proofread.
The feeling of hate for the man who asked her to do his 'dirty' work for him is overwhelming.
You don't need to put apostrophes around the word there.
The general shape of this is good, but you really need to polish.
Can't Pretend Anymore (PS (HB, SS))
In which the resolution to the competing ships of PS/HD and PS/SS is Dame breaks up with Sleuth so he can go drown his sorrows with Slick.
I wish people would just say the characters are in open relationships or something. We already have mechanics for one character having different types of relationships with different people with the quadrant system, and fandom's open-minded enough to shove multiple people into a bed together at the drop of a hat, but when it gets down to hardcore shipping time there can only be one.
SS, HB, DD (CD)
Eggs, mostly. Stitch, Sawbuck, Snowman, Quarters...
SS (DD, HB, CD, OC, English, The Doctor)
DD (HB, SS)
PM (AR, WV)
PS (HB, SS)
Two of six.
Cute and nicely understated.
Temporalgernon (Eggs, mostly. Stitch, Sawbuck, Snowman, Quarters...)
Hm. Very interesting. I like how you're writing the characters, they all feel like they have their own lives and it isn't overreliant on the same pool of fanon. And I'm impressed by how convincingly you write Eggs changing.
Flashing a grin, he insisted, "oh, but
Sometimes you don't capitalize the beginning of dialogue for some reason, like here. You should be more careful proofreading.
Chapter 4: HOLDER
Very inventive. I like the idea of exploring the Felt's powers like this, and I hope you post the rest of it.
Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey (SS (DD, HB, CD, OC, English, The Doctor))
Hm. It's interesting to picture them getting old and still running around robbing banks, and certainly it'd be nice if there was a way for them to stick around. But the execution is just too sugary. I'm sure there's a way to do this without it being quite so twee.
Rising Up (DD (HB, SS))
Exiles, Jack being a dick, DD losing his temper, then it turns out they've stumbled on water.
Starry, starry night (PM (AR, WV))
A sickening feeling sunk into her like a shark would eat a seal.
When you're writing, you should consider what metaphors fit the situation. For example, if you're writing from the point of view of a character, don't reference things they probably don't know exist.
It had been a shame that it had to end with an unecessary death for the dersite.
You're also dropping capitalization and misspelling words. You need to proofread.
The feeling of hate for the man who asked her to do his 'dirty' work for him is overwhelming.
You don't need to put apostrophes around the word there.
The general shape of this is good, but you really need to polish.
Can't Pretend Anymore (PS (HB, SS))
In which the resolution to the competing ships of PS/HD and PS/SS is Dame breaks up with Sleuth so he can go drown his sorrows with Slick.
I wish people would just say the characters are in open relationships or something. We already have mechanics for one character having different types of relationships with different people with the quadrant system, and fandom's open-minded enough to shove multiple people into a bed together at the drop of a hat, but when it gets down to hardcore shipping time there can only be one.
SS, HB, DD (CD)
Eggs, mostly. Stitch, Sawbuck, Snowman, Quarters...
SS (DD, HB, CD, OC, English, The Doctor)
DD (HB, SS)
PM (AR, WV)
PS (HB, SS)
Two of six.
