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Oct. 30th, 2011 08:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
farlaChapter 16
“I intend to wrest control away from the gangs that currently run this town.”
Sleuth raises a brow. “That’s impossible. The Midnight Crew built this city and they embedded themselves so far into it that nobody can get them out.
No, Sleuth, I think you'll find that the impossible statement is the one you made. They're still killable. From the sounds of it here, the reason they're in power is because they're actually pretty good at keeping things running - a informant network of half the city doesn't pay itself.
The Felt are tougher than the Midnight Crew and they keep trying and failing.
The Intermission makes it pretty clear that Snowman wins any fight with Slick. If they were seriously trying to kill them, they'd be dead.
“I’ve been trying to fight them on my terms since I arrived here. Did you think I started this bank just to earn me money?” Keynoter extends his hands and motions around the room. Sleuth politely shakes his head to let him continue. “I did it to show everybody that it’s possible to make money without being a crook.”
“I don’t think you have everyone convinced about that yet.” Lawyer says with a small grin.
Keynoter returns it, leaning back in his chair. “Running a business well is not a crime
Okay, see, money doesn't just appear. The reason some financial people are both incredibly wealthy and incredibly hated is that they aren't performing a useful task for society, they're just moving the representations of useful things other people do around for their own gain.
If WK isn't fucking over half the city to afford his mansion but is actually doing useful financial tasks that help everyone to earn it, no one would be grumbling about him being a thief. If WK is, then there's no point in showing people because there's only so much wealth around to leech off and he's already taken up that parasitic niche.
These aren't random complaints. No one has to say, "Being a talented brain surgeon isn't a crime!" because the issue is over if the person is producing things of value or just taking things of value from other people.
“I’ve tried donating to charity, created a few charities of my own, paid liberal taxes to fund the police force, and a slew of other ideas.” Keynoter says. “None of them have worked.
Okay, but why? Gangs exist in a larger context. Even the non-Snowman Felt are perfectly killable. So, if the rest of the city is functioning fine, what purpose are the gangs serving? Why are people willing to work for stabby assholes, and protect them enough the police can't get them? If the police force is well funded and therefore presumably well paid, why are some taking bribes and why can't they kick out the people taking bribes and get a replacement?
...oh god. So WK wants to deal with the problem but his little wife wanted the peaceful socialite route, because women.
“I don’t mean to talk ill about my wife, but it’s easy for her to have that opinion when she was cooped up in the palace all the time. Fighting actual battles definitely broadens the measures you’re willing to take to ensure a good outcome.”
"his wife" was the one RUNNING THE GODDAMN COUNTRY
AND SHE HAS A NAME
My wife is probably responsible for the courier’s resistance. Everyone she asks to do something takes it like a critical mission of the utmost importance with dire consequences should they fail.
So, first, he's making it sound like she didn't think it was critical with dire consequences if the guy failed and it just happened because she doesn't realize the effect she has on people, when it seems that's probably exactly what she meant. And second, it sounds like he did the exact same thing if the people he hired were willing to shoot an innocent person just because the guy tried to stop the thieves from stealing a package from him. But sure, let's blame her for the fact you got a guy killed trying to steal from her.
“The police are trying to pin that murder on me.” Sleuth states.
Keynoter looks at Lawyer with some surprise. “There’s probably something we can do about that.” Keynoter says to Sleuth.
“You’re kidding.” Sleuth blurts out. “For somebody who wants to get rid of criminals you’re sure committing a lot of crimes in the process.”
How is it a crime to prevent someone who didn't murder a person from getting convicted for murdering a person? That they're to blame for the pressure that was about to get him jailed is wrong, but he's acting like it's trying to fix that that's the real sign they're bad.
“This was a temporary solution anyway, Sleuth. There was no way we were going to let a murderer go free.” Lawyer says. “Once we’re finished we’ll find out who did it and force him to confess.”
Sleuth briefly grimaces. “Using power and influence to cover up a murder is a real dirty trick.”
No, it isn't. Covering up a murder is wrong because it lets the murderer get away. Delaying it is nowhere near the same thing. The police hold off on arresting people all the time for a wide variety of reasons.
There was another reason. Wealthy Quantifier has a fake of the Sapphire of Alternia. We had to find that at the same time we took the necklace, to make sure we actually found the Sapphire.
That makes no sense. The Sapphire is apparently magic. If he gets one, he just has to try to use it and he'll know if he's got the right one or not. If not, he knows the only other one is the real one.
“I’ve been trying to make an opportunity like this for months. I’ve been telling her for a while now that I’m worried about her safety carrying that around her neck.”
Translation: I've been lying to my wife for months.
“You try putting together a plan to steal the most priceless piece of jewelry on this planet from the most mysterious and intelligent woman on this planet in less than a week.”
It's hard to express how incredibly condescending this sounds.
You’re having a bit of a conflict of interests here.
The Midnight Crew and the Felt are half the reason why you get any jobs in the first place. If you got rid of them, you wouldn’t have any work.
Knowing someone accidentally killed another person and delaying the trial slightly until something far more important is dealt with: evil.
Thinking that twenty mass murderers should be allowed to continue murdering so you can get paid to investigate their murderers: perfectly normal.
But you can’t deny that the city would be better off without them.
Yes, what with the fact they're MASS MURDERERS YOU SELF-CENTERED LITTLE FUCK THIS SHOULDN'T BE SOMETHING YOU STRUGGLE TO WORK OUT
Wallstreet Keynoter’s a good man and you have a lot of respect for him.
jesus christ
Sleuth understands the difference between Wallstreet Keynoter and his wife. She inspires zeal and purpose and peppers in enough mystery to make any task seem like a matter of life and death. He inspires loyalty, plain and simple.
Or in short, the woman is mysterious and deceitful and no one's actually loyal to her.
Chapter 17
“Did you think you could just walk out of this building after committing assault?”
“Yeah.” Sleuth smirks. “Why wouldn’t I?”
So breaking the law and hurting others continues to be perfectly fine so long as it's Smirker who does it.
Sleuth looks at the operator. He scowls at Sleuth.
“Who pissed in your coffee?” Sleuth asks.
I know! How dare he be mad he was attacked by Sleuth while he was just trying to do his job.
“And what are you going to do if I don’t answer? Shoot me?” Sleuth snaps. “Killing a man during an arrest is going to get you kicked off the force.”
There are a wide number of places he can be shot and not die.
So the fact WK said to stop rushing the murder investigation means Sleuth is also not going to be brought in for assault. It's lucky not being guilty of one single crime means Sleuth can commit any other ones.
So he's figured out who the guy reporting to the Crew is? and doesn't feel like bothering to tell AR.
It’s Persevering Maillady. She says she’s got some kind of problem and needs your help right now. You ask what it is. She says she needs you to come help her with something at her apartment right now. It’s urgent, apparently.
You tell her you don’t have time for her games and slam the phone down and feel simultaneously smug and awful about pretending to be that oblivious jerk and that you can’t even come up with a fantasy where he doesn’t turn you down.
Well that was a sickening little interlude.
...oh my god it got worse. I can't even quote where it's worst, it's just all disgusting.
You're writing women like they're deranged children whose entire lives revolve around Sleuth and hating anyone else who gets near him. And you're writing Sleuth like he gets off yanking them around, because I can't see why else he'd bring up that TD apologized unless he was fishing for exactly this sort of response.
Oh, and She’s a friend of mine, you know.” Sleuth says. “Friend.” He mouths slowly.
No, she's not. He's already been through this.
Snowman must really not be giving up on the idea that Sleuth knows something. She’s right, not that she has any reason to be.
And what the hell is this supposed to mean? Why is it she can't even be right without getting insulted and saying that it must be for the wrong reason so she's still stupid?
“We’re taking it to Wallstreet Keynoter.”
“Problem Sleuth!” Inspector suddenly shouts. “You made a promise to Wealthy Quantifier to return it to her and her alone!”
Problem Sleuth’s heart sinks as he remembers. “Damn.” He says. “You’re right.”
How do you just forget the person you're actually supposedly working for?
Chapter 18
“I’m stuck between bickering monarchy. If I help one I betray the other, and I wish I didn’t care about something like that, but it’s tearing me apart.”
Well, one of them actually owns the object in question, hasn't gotten anyone killed, isn't throwing her weight around to hurt more innocent people, and asked for his help first.
But the other one does have a dick, so I can understand why he might be struggling to pick who's right.
“Maybe I’ll grab it and give it to the Midnight Crew. There, nobody wins, both of them are equally disappointed with me.”
“Why not the Felt?”
“Because the Felt are a bunch of morons who have no idea how to run a town.
Unlike the MC, who are paragons of competence.
“I’m not about to break a promise. Even if I only made it because she demanded it.” Sleuth says.
So he's still definitely on the side of the guy who lied to his wife for months to trick her into giving him a chance to steal her property, then got someone killed in the attempt, and it's only that the evil woman forced him to promise to...do the job she's paying him a ridiculous amount of money to do.
And while they debate they're doing another case, where they're watching a guy leave a brothel and discussing that he's not cheating on his wife.
...it's really not impressive for your hero to only win because you make sure his antagonists can't do anything right.
Chapter 19
This honestly feels like filler. There's a lot of running around and fighting without anyone accomplishing anything, and there's no real tension because they're characterized as incompetent idiots. And it's pretty infodumpy to have both gangs pause in the doorway and loudly discuss their plans and why they're going into the warehouse and exactly what they're expecting to do for the benefit of any listener. The running count of accomplishments was amusing, though.
Shoot Spades Slick.
No point hesitating. You’ve got him right where you want him.
But if you kill him, the Midnight Crew would crumble without his leadership, and you’d essentially be giving the control of the city to the Felt. You’re not sure you want to let that happen.
I also really, really don't get why the story keeps presenting Slick as the best option. One gang is better than two fighting gangs. And we have yet to see any sign that the Crew's control of the city is at all beneficial, so why would the Felt being in charge be worse? And if the Felt really are incompetent compared to the Crew, that's an improvement because they're easier to deal with.
Chapter 20
Quarters appears behind Ace Dick. Ace Dick turns around in reaction to the look Sleuth must have and catches a punch to the face. With a pop, Ace Dick disappears
Did you confuse him with Cans?
And Sleuth continues to miraculously avoid injury.
Chapter 21
...it really doesn't take forever to strangle someone.
And Sleuth continues to be able to dodge bullets. We've now spent several chapters on an extended fight scene where the outcome was never even in question. He could have just snuck out at the beginning and blown up everyone's car instead. That'd also have been actually worthy of a plan.
Chapter 22
The most exciting part was when he popped into some kind of palace and had to apologize profusely to a giant with spiral horns and face paint for interrupting his sentencing of a dangerous pirate and criminal with eight pupils as her captor gazed on through red glasses.
But Mindfang didn't actually get sentenced, the trial wasn't before the Highblood anyway, and she'd already lost an eye by that point.
Until we’re somewhere safe and away from prying eyes this box is staying closed.”
“Then where to shall we go?” Inspector asks.
“My office.”
...because the known location of his office is so much safer than the unknown location of the car?
Why is it so important they open the box, anyway? It's not to verify what's inside, because if that was a worry they should have checked at the warehouse before leaving. And he wasn't told to take it out and mess around with it, he was told to deliver it to her. He can do that fine with it still in the box.
You’d think the mysterious broad would want her damn necklace. You’d think that she’d make herself easy to reach when she’s made it clear she’s watching your every move.
But honestly, you’re not surprised.
Looks like you’re giving it to Wallstreet Keynoter first thing in the morning. Promises be damned, at least he’s not the biggest pain in the ass you’ve ever had to deal with.
And Sleuth continues to be an enormous asshole, I see.
Chapter 23
Well, I suppose that goes a long way to explain why Snowman was throttling Crowbar earlier and saying he was an idiotic fuckup. He actually is!
I have no idea why she's screaming, though. She's pretty calm when removing parts from Slick.
You’ve gained a smidgeon of respect for him. Running the Felt is a thankless job, and the guy can’t catch a break.
Uh, what? She's right. He was about to pop his head up because he thought it was WQ. But Crowbar couldn't wait two seconds to see if Sleuth would actually show up, and then started insisting Sleuth wasn't even there when Sleuth is, and then that searching the room for, say, hidden passages like the one Sleuth is currently in with the necklace is a waste of time. He fucked up here.
You’re glad to see him get beat up by a girl.
Of course, that would be assuming this fic isn't just being horribly misogynistic, which as you quickly remind me, it is.
Incidentally, she's not a girl, she's an adult woman.
Maillady tenses up like she’s just been caught doing something incredibly stupid. “Oh.” She puts the lockbox back on the table, treating it like a metal container instead of a priceless artifact. “That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense, actually.” Maillady nervously laughs.
Sleuth wants to press the issue. Why would she think the box was the Sapphire? That's downright idiotic. But Sleuth decides it’s not worth it. What would it prove? That Maillady isn’t the sharpest paper in the ream? She already knows that, and Sleuth isn’t about to rub it in.
It's actually sort of impressive just how nasty this manages to get.
The Sapphire of Alternia is the White King’s Scepter.
Huh. Well, I guess that'd explain how powerful it apparently is.
But it doesn't make too much sense. The reckoning is triggered by the Black King getting the White King's Scepter. So they'd have had to get it back afterward, assuming it wasn't just destroyed by Derse once they had it (and why not, if it has no other purpose?). I'm assuming there's going to be some explanation, but...
And if the prototyping objects still work, shouldn't WQ still have her ring?
Chapter 24
And more of women doing nothing but fight over this asshole and get treated like idiots.
“It was when Wallstreet Keynoter was surrendering. He handed his scepter over to the Black King. Those kids tried to grab it before he started the Reckoning, but they were too late. They still managed to take it from him somehow, but the Black King transformed and put a stop to that. They got away, but he swatted the girl trying to fly away with it. She got knocked away. The White King’s Scepter got knocked away even further.” Sleuth finishes.
The kids aren't there at the time. We know because by the time they fought BK the Veil had been mostly emptied. And there's no point in stealing it from him after he triggers the Reckoning, because it doesn't seem to do anything at that point.
“Let me tell ya, if I were telling it you’d be tearing up right now, ready to hold me for hours while I put on the waterworks.”
Deferrer looks unimpressed. “That actually worked?”
Sleuth stuffs a cigarette in his mouth. “’Course it did.” He says confidently.
Manipulativing women into having sex with you is not actually as positive a trait as you seem to think it is.
I thought you were looking for it for Wealthy Quantifier.”
“I was.” Sleuth says. “And I was about ready to give it to her. But it’ll be less of a headache to give it to Wallstreet Keynoter.”
“You can’t be serious.” Deferrer says.
“Why not? It’s his.” Sleuth says. “It’s the White King’s Scepter, and he used to be the White King. I’d be returning property to its original owner.”
That wasn't even his reason. His reason was that she didn't pick up a phone as soon as he called to get it.
Sleuth really didn’t need any convincing. The moment he knew what the Sapphire of Alternia was he knew he couldn’t give it to Wallstreet Keynoter.
Oh god, it's like the fail cherry on top of the whole conversation. They can't even convince him by pointing things out, the only reason he's going along with it is he'd already decided on the other course of action but was just dragging his feet and saying otherwise because he finds it fun or something.
Well, it'll make a good present for Hysterical Dame. It’s a bit different than what she’s used to but she’ll like it all the same.
Ah, yes, Love Interest Not Important Enough To Actually Ever Appear In This Fanfic, I'm sure she'll be glad he at least found the time to think about her.
“Don’t let anyone see that. Which means,” Sleuth points a finger at the exposed carapace of her chest. “Today, your buttons go to the top.” Sleuth smirks.
Oh jesus christ.
Sleuth stares at her chest. “Same deal with you.” He says. “You show too much cleavage anyway.”
How can you even write this.
“Trollop.”
“Hussy.”
“You just keep your hands off him.”
“And what are you gonna do about it? Take a detour from your mail route and make me pay?”
“You bet I will. You’ve had it coming for a while now.”
“I’d love to see you try.”
“Nobody messes with the mail in this town. Ya wanna find out why?”
“Ya have to catch me first.”
“Ain’t so fast out of your cab. Ain’t so tough either.”
“Knock it off.” Problem Sleuth shouts to the arguing women behind him. “You can kill each other when you’re done helping me.”
Really. How do you think this kind of this is okay?
“This isn’t my problem. I had nothing to do with it.” He says. “Besides, he’s a nice guy. Don’t be so quick to shoot him down.”
No, he's a Nice Guy. Because actual nice guys don't trick women into giving them their phone numbers for other reasons then call incessantly to hit on them. And Sleuth's evidently one as well. Just because someone's nice doesn't mean a woman's obligated to like him.
Chapter 25
“Quit gawking. Come on.” He says as he roughly shoves Sleuth towards the stage.
“But her coat tails are so distracting.” Sleuth says. “What’s it like working with her?”
“Shut up, Sleuth.”
“It can’t be fun getting beat up by a woman. But the view has to more than make up for it.”
Of course all he can really think to do when dealing with some mysterious female is to reduce her to her appearance.
“Once you get on her good side it shouldn’t be too bad.” Sleuth says. “You’re on her good side, right? Can’t imagine what it’d be like if you weren’t.”
Crowbar takes a breath and grits his teeth. Snowman walks up the stage and disappears behind a curtain.
“So what’s it like?” Sleuth says in a hushed voice.
“Better than being with Hysterical Dame by choice.”
Ugh, and now Crowbar's doing it too.
“You’ll pay for that remark, Crowbar.” Snowman shouts in a sing-song from behind the curtain.
As well she should.
and several effigies. Stitch is busy adjusting the limbs of an effigy wearing a blue top hat
Wait, why is he doing that here instead of at the mansion?
“Crowbar, I believe you had an issue you wished to discuss with Problem Sleuth.” Snowman says.
The next thing Sleuth knows his face is on the floor and the back of his head is throbbing. Not even a moment’s hesitation or a warning.
Okay, that was funny. He should've seen that coming, all she did was object to Crowbar bashing his head in where the blood would show.
When’s your next concert? Years go by between them and I was hoping I could convince you to put one on sooner rather than later.”
Snowman glares hellfury and damnation and daggers and all sorts of other nasty things at Sleuth.
Why is she losing her temper over something so minor?
“Stitch.” She calls without breaking her glare. “Prepare an effigy of Problem Sleuth, please.”
“I already told you, I ain’t helping. I’m busy keeping this gang from falling apart.”
Then why is he even here, and why is she bothering to ask? Also, why does no one get that it's a bad idea to argue in front of an outsider? If Stitch doesn't have the time to fix up an extra effigy, he can still say he does so Sleuth will think they're able to hurt him that badly.
I'm not sure why Snowman is explaining tortures instead of just getting started. She should at least be getting Sleuth tied up.
Sleuth groans and sighs, not because he’s scared of the torture but because it’s annoying listening to Snowman drone on about it.
Why are her threats meaningless? He just got through claiming Snowman is extremely dangerous and prone to overkill.
“I don’t want to suggest that you’re not perfectly capable of doing everything I do on a daily basis because you’ve made sure to make that clear on multiple occasions,” Crowbar says slightly sarcastically, “But since you’re more often than not too busy smoking cigarettes or sleeping in or just plain not interested enough to get involved in the cogs and gears of the Felt, maybe you should let me tell you how much we actually have to give away before you promise Problem Sleuth something impossible.”
psst! Crowbar! I don't think she was actually going to go through with giving him the money. I think she just wants to know where the damn thing is.
In fact, given how he's acting I think he's going to be another of the Felt's horribly mutilated bodies pretty soon. Couldn't happen to a Nicer Guy.
Trace’s and Fin’s are in similar shape, and they’re soaking wet for some reason. He points at the two. “I thought I killed them.”
Stitch smiles. “You would’ve too if it weren’t for me.”
“We love this guy.” Cans pats Stitch lightly on his back. “’e keeps us alive even when we oughtn’t."
“So why aren’t they dead?” Sleuth asks.
“Do you know what happens to an effigy when a member of the Felt dies?”
Sleuth tries to think. “No.”
“Then shut up. It wouldn’t make sense to you and I’m not about to tell you our secrets.”
Huh, that's clever. It does sort of beg the question of why he doesn't just keep them soaking wet, but maybe there's ill effects for doing that.
Crowbar walks back from the back stage doors. Snowman emerges from a dark corner of the room and both walk towards Sleuth. Sleuth turns around and raises a brow, waiting for them to speak.
“We have considered your offer, Problem Sleuth.” Snowman says. “We have decided that, instead of paying you money, we would rather coerce the location of the Sapphire of Alternia out of you.”
Why the fuck does she need Crowbar to explain this to her. She was just threatening to torture him into talking a minute ago.
Where is the Sapphire of Alternia?” Snowman shouts.
Sleuth breathlessly chuckles. “In my office safe.”
Snowman glares at Crowbar. “I told you to get that open!”
“Are you seriously falling for that?” Crowbar asks. “It wouldn’t even be in there.”
Why the fuck wouldn't Snowman be able to tell this on her own?
And now she's been goaded into flipping out because women are just so crazy and irrational, nevermind her never acting like this at any point ever in canon.
And despite flipping out and trying to murder him, she's just punching him and not, say, stabbing her lance through his chest.
“I will kill him!” She screams, struggling against Cans’ unbreakable grip. “No one talks to me like that! No one! No one dares say those things to me!”
“Don’t let ‘im get to you.” Cans says.
“I am the Queen of Derse! Do not treat me like I am a tantruming child!” Snowman shouts.
Snowman makes a good point. You really shouldn't have decided to write her as a tantruming child. When your own characters are pointing out your errors, its' pretty bad.
Also Snowman can teleport. It doesn't matter how unbreakable a grip it is.
Sleuth blinks several times. He’s surprised he stayed alert through all of that. All things considered, Snowman punches like a woman.
Oh fuck you.
Why doesn’t she just teleport out of Cans’ grip? Is this some sort of good cop, bad cop routine?
So you're either pointing out your own plot hole, or you're substituting one for another, given that Snowman flipping out doesn't serve any point and they already had a good cop/bad cop thing going on because Crowbar wanted to just kill Sleuth and Snowman wanted him alive.
And now she suddenly remembers she can teleport again for still no discernible reason.
“So you think you know me?” Sleuth asks. “Would I hit a woman?”
Snowman grins. “Oh, no. You are much too respectful and chivalrous for that.”
“How about this?” Sleuth reaches a hand behind Snowman and grabs hold.
Refusing to hit a woman is not so much respectful as condescending. And you can really see it in exchanges like this, where the character is too "respectful" to treat them like an opponent, but not so much they won't treat them as a sex object.
Snowman lets go of the whip with a disgusted gasp and pushes Sleuth away.
NO SHOOT HIS FUCKING ARM OFF
“That’s it?” Crowbar asks. “That’s all he has to do?”
Snowman chews on the holder for a moment and levels a vicious glare at Crowbar. “Do not dare follow his example.”
Sleuth unwraps the whip around his neck. “That’s an invitation if I ever heard one.”
Snowman breathes in and lets the remark pass. She’s still staring fury at Sleuth but her vicious rage has subsided.
Why would being groped and then Sleuth encouraging someone else to grope her make her less furious?
“Clearly I do not understand Problem Sleuth as well as I thought.
That's pretty much how he's been acting this entire fic. It's how he was acting a few minutes ago when he started chatting with Crowbar about how hot her ass looked. I'm sure she'd have noticed it long ago.
“He could have been broken.” Snowman says to herself.
“Not Problem Sleuth.” Crowbar says
No idea why they have such a high opinion of him. Even if he's hard to torture, that torturing his friends plan is also still totally an option.
“What do you know?” Sleuth says. “I’m still alive.”
The guard opens a door for him. “Hope you don’t stay that way.”
“Same to you, pal.” Sleuth says
So that's what, 2/? innocent people assaulted by Sleuth that he's then a dick to afterward when they have the gall to act upset by this.
“This sort of thing happens every time I see her.” Sleuth says. “But she’s got one hell of a strut. Seeing that more than makes up for the bloody mouth.”
Oh joy we're still on this horrible track aren't we. At least it's not really worse so much as just more of the same.
“On second thought, it’s not that great. Second only to one.”
“Oh?” Deferrer says, her eyes twinkling in the mirror. “Who takes first?”
Sleuth smirks. “Wealthy Quantifier.”
...and now it's worse. Jesus.
Chapter 26
“One way or the other we’re stopping.” Deferrer says. “I’d rather do it while I’ve got your keys handy than without.”
Problem Sleuth doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he’s completely out of ammo.
Why doesn't he "have the heart" to tell her important information with a direct bearing on her survival? Also, why doesn't he just go get more ammo already.
A man steps into the bathroom, and sees Problem Sleuth gazing at the tube of lipstick intently. Problem Sleuth looks at him and stares him down. He backs out of the room quickly.
==>
You’re really glad you don’t know that guy. If it was someone you knew you’d probably have to beat them so they can’t speak again.
Okay, the lipstick joke? It's gotten old and is now sliding well toward -phobic.
“I spotted Persevering Maillady along her route and asked her about you. She said you were with that whore cab driver of yours.”
The worst part about all this is I really get the sense it's all a joke. That you think misogyny is the funniest B-plot imaginable.
“You know, she was hoping you were gonna call her and ask her out, with how she gave you her number.” Sleuth says. “Guess she knows now you’re not interested.”
Neither is this particularly funny. Women really don't like having people encourage a guy they're not interested to hit on them more by lying and saying that no really, she's totally into you.
“I couldn’t possibly let you do something like that for me, Anarchy Repressor.” Deferrer says seductively.
“Well,” Repressor says. “It is entirely up to me.”
“But that would be against,” She says with a small pout. “The law.” She says breathily.
Same thing as all the other times I've complained.
It's also pretty OOC for AR, even assuming this is just to distract the other guy so Sleuth can escape.
Did you seriously just let Problem Sleuth get away like that?
Because it looks like you seriously just let Problem Sleuth get away like that.
You are such a disgrace. Not because you get a monthly check from Diamonds Droog, but because you're terrible at pretending to be a cop.
This, on the other hand? Legitimately mildly amusing.
“But how did that even happen? I’ve got enough traffic violations to fill a phone book. I don’t know why he gave it up.”
“I may have implied that he totally blew whatever chance he had with you by letting you get that ticket.”
“Oh.” She says. It’s apparently not what she expected.
Sleuth picks up on it. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” Deferrer says, dissatisfied. “Just tell me I don’t have to be nice to him now.”
“It’d be the graceful thing to do.”
Not really. This is more Nice Guy reasoning. If he's only doing something to get in her pants, she's not obligated to act like it's a sign he's just a friendly person. Also, wasn't the reason to help Sleuth escape? Because he has no reason to lie. Unless, I guess, he's trying to trick her into feeling obligated to fuck AR.
“I intend to wrest control away from the gangs that currently run this town.”
Sleuth raises a brow. “That’s impossible. The Midnight Crew built this city and they embedded themselves so far into it that nobody can get them out.
No, Sleuth, I think you'll find that the impossible statement is the one you made. They're still killable. From the sounds of it here, the reason they're in power is because they're actually pretty good at keeping things running - a informant network of half the city doesn't pay itself.
The Felt are tougher than the Midnight Crew and they keep trying and failing.
The Intermission makes it pretty clear that Snowman wins any fight with Slick. If they were seriously trying to kill them, they'd be dead.
“I’ve been trying to fight them on my terms since I arrived here. Did you think I started this bank just to earn me money?” Keynoter extends his hands and motions around the room. Sleuth politely shakes his head to let him continue. “I did it to show everybody that it’s possible to make money without being a crook.”
“I don’t think you have everyone convinced about that yet.” Lawyer says with a small grin.
Keynoter returns it, leaning back in his chair. “Running a business well is not a crime
Okay, see, money doesn't just appear. The reason some financial people are both incredibly wealthy and incredibly hated is that they aren't performing a useful task for society, they're just moving the representations of useful things other people do around for their own gain.
If WK isn't fucking over half the city to afford his mansion but is actually doing useful financial tasks that help everyone to earn it, no one would be grumbling about him being a thief. If WK is, then there's no point in showing people because there's only so much wealth around to leech off and he's already taken up that parasitic niche.
These aren't random complaints. No one has to say, "Being a talented brain surgeon isn't a crime!" because the issue is over if the person is producing things of value or just taking things of value from other people.
“I’ve tried donating to charity, created a few charities of my own, paid liberal taxes to fund the police force, and a slew of other ideas.” Keynoter says. “None of them have worked.
Okay, but why? Gangs exist in a larger context. Even the non-Snowman Felt are perfectly killable. So, if the rest of the city is functioning fine, what purpose are the gangs serving? Why are people willing to work for stabby assholes, and protect them enough the police can't get them? If the police force is well funded and therefore presumably well paid, why are some taking bribes and why can't they kick out the people taking bribes and get a replacement?
...oh god. So WK wants to deal with the problem but his little wife wanted the peaceful socialite route, because women.
“I don’t mean to talk ill about my wife, but it’s easy for her to have that opinion when she was cooped up in the palace all the time. Fighting actual battles definitely broadens the measures you’re willing to take to ensure a good outcome.”
"his wife" was the one RUNNING THE GODDAMN COUNTRY
AND SHE HAS A NAME
My wife is probably responsible for the courier’s resistance. Everyone she asks to do something takes it like a critical mission of the utmost importance with dire consequences should they fail.
So, first, he's making it sound like she didn't think it was critical with dire consequences if the guy failed and it just happened because she doesn't realize the effect she has on people, when it seems that's probably exactly what she meant. And second, it sounds like he did the exact same thing if the people he hired were willing to shoot an innocent person just because the guy tried to stop the thieves from stealing a package from him. But sure, let's blame her for the fact you got a guy killed trying to steal from her.
“The police are trying to pin that murder on me.” Sleuth states.
Keynoter looks at Lawyer with some surprise. “There’s probably something we can do about that.” Keynoter says to Sleuth.
“You’re kidding.” Sleuth blurts out. “For somebody who wants to get rid of criminals you’re sure committing a lot of crimes in the process.”
How is it a crime to prevent someone who didn't murder a person from getting convicted for murdering a person? That they're to blame for the pressure that was about to get him jailed is wrong, but he's acting like it's trying to fix that that's the real sign they're bad.
“This was a temporary solution anyway, Sleuth. There was no way we were going to let a murderer go free.” Lawyer says. “Once we’re finished we’ll find out who did it and force him to confess.”
Sleuth briefly grimaces. “Using power and influence to cover up a murder is a real dirty trick.”
No, it isn't. Covering up a murder is wrong because it lets the murderer get away. Delaying it is nowhere near the same thing. The police hold off on arresting people all the time for a wide variety of reasons.
There was another reason. Wealthy Quantifier has a fake of the Sapphire of Alternia. We had to find that at the same time we took the necklace, to make sure we actually found the Sapphire.
That makes no sense. The Sapphire is apparently magic. If he gets one, he just has to try to use it and he'll know if he's got the right one or not. If not, he knows the only other one is the real one.
“I’ve been trying to make an opportunity like this for months. I’ve been telling her for a while now that I’m worried about her safety carrying that around her neck.”
Translation: I've been lying to my wife for months.
“You try putting together a plan to steal the most priceless piece of jewelry on this planet from the most mysterious and intelligent woman on this planet in less than a week.”
It's hard to express how incredibly condescending this sounds.
You’re having a bit of a conflict of interests here.
The Midnight Crew and the Felt are half the reason why you get any jobs in the first place. If you got rid of them, you wouldn’t have any work.
Knowing someone accidentally killed another person and delaying the trial slightly until something far more important is dealt with: evil.
Thinking that twenty mass murderers should be allowed to continue murdering so you can get paid to investigate their murderers: perfectly normal.
But you can’t deny that the city would be better off without them.
Yes, what with the fact they're MASS MURDERERS YOU SELF-CENTERED LITTLE FUCK THIS SHOULDN'T BE SOMETHING YOU STRUGGLE TO WORK OUT
Wallstreet Keynoter’s a good man and you have a lot of respect for him.
jesus christ
Sleuth understands the difference between Wallstreet Keynoter and his wife. She inspires zeal and purpose and peppers in enough mystery to make any task seem like a matter of life and death. He inspires loyalty, plain and simple.
Or in short, the woman is mysterious and deceitful and no one's actually loyal to her.
Chapter 17
“Did you think you could just walk out of this building after committing assault?”
“Yeah.” Sleuth smirks. “Why wouldn’t I?”
So breaking the law and hurting others continues to be perfectly fine so long as it's Smirker who does it.
Sleuth looks at the operator. He scowls at Sleuth.
“Who pissed in your coffee?” Sleuth asks.
I know! How dare he be mad he was attacked by Sleuth while he was just trying to do his job.
“And what are you going to do if I don’t answer? Shoot me?” Sleuth snaps. “Killing a man during an arrest is going to get you kicked off the force.”
There are a wide number of places he can be shot and not die.
So the fact WK said to stop rushing the murder investigation means Sleuth is also not going to be brought in for assault. It's lucky not being guilty of one single crime means Sleuth can commit any other ones.
So he's figured out who the guy reporting to the Crew is? and doesn't feel like bothering to tell AR.
It’s Persevering Maillady. She says she’s got some kind of problem and needs your help right now. You ask what it is. She says she needs you to come help her with something at her apartment right now. It’s urgent, apparently.
You tell her you don’t have time for her games and slam the phone down and feel simultaneously smug and awful about pretending to be that oblivious jerk and that you can’t even come up with a fantasy where he doesn’t turn you down.
Well that was a sickening little interlude.
...oh my god it got worse. I can't even quote where it's worst, it's just all disgusting.
You're writing women like they're deranged children whose entire lives revolve around Sleuth and hating anyone else who gets near him. And you're writing Sleuth like he gets off yanking them around, because I can't see why else he'd bring up that TD apologized unless he was fishing for exactly this sort of response.
Oh, and She’s a friend of mine, you know.” Sleuth says. “Friend.” He mouths slowly.
No, she's not. He's already been through this.
Snowman must really not be giving up on the idea that Sleuth knows something. She’s right, not that she has any reason to be.
And what the hell is this supposed to mean? Why is it she can't even be right without getting insulted and saying that it must be for the wrong reason so she's still stupid?
“We’re taking it to Wallstreet Keynoter.”
“Problem Sleuth!” Inspector suddenly shouts. “You made a promise to Wealthy Quantifier to return it to her and her alone!”
Problem Sleuth’s heart sinks as he remembers. “Damn.” He says. “You’re right.”
How do you just forget the person you're actually supposedly working for?
Chapter 18
“I’m stuck between bickering monarchy. If I help one I betray the other, and I wish I didn’t care about something like that, but it’s tearing me apart.”
Well, one of them actually owns the object in question, hasn't gotten anyone killed, isn't throwing her weight around to hurt more innocent people, and asked for his help first.
But the other one does have a dick, so I can understand why he might be struggling to pick who's right.
“Maybe I’ll grab it and give it to the Midnight Crew. There, nobody wins, both of them are equally disappointed with me.”
“Why not the Felt?”
“Because the Felt are a bunch of morons who have no idea how to run a town.
Unlike the MC, who are paragons of competence.
“I’m not about to break a promise. Even if I only made it because she demanded it.” Sleuth says.
So he's still definitely on the side of the guy who lied to his wife for months to trick her into giving him a chance to steal her property, then got someone killed in the attempt, and it's only that the evil woman forced him to promise to...do the job she's paying him a ridiculous amount of money to do.
And while they debate they're doing another case, where they're watching a guy leave a brothel and discussing that he's not cheating on his wife.
...it's really not impressive for your hero to only win because you make sure his antagonists can't do anything right.
Chapter 19
This honestly feels like filler. There's a lot of running around and fighting without anyone accomplishing anything, and there's no real tension because they're characterized as incompetent idiots. And it's pretty infodumpy to have both gangs pause in the doorway and loudly discuss their plans and why they're going into the warehouse and exactly what they're expecting to do for the benefit of any listener. The running count of accomplishments was amusing, though.
Shoot Spades Slick.
No point hesitating. You’ve got him right where you want him.
But if you kill him, the Midnight Crew would crumble without his leadership, and you’d essentially be giving the control of the city to the Felt. You’re not sure you want to let that happen.
I also really, really don't get why the story keeps presenting Slick as the best option. One gang is better than two fighting gangs. And we have yet to see any sign that the Crew's control of the city is at all beneficial, so why would the Felt being in charge be worse? And if the Felt really are incompetent compared to the Crew, that's an improvement because they're easier to deal with.
Chapter 20
Quarters appears behind Ace Dick. Ace Dick turns around in reaction to the look Sleuth must have and catches a punch to the face. With a pop, Ace Dick disappears
Did you confuse him with Cans?
And Sleuth continues to miraculously avoid injury.
Chapter 21
...it really doesn't take forever to strangle someone.
And Sleuth continues to be able to dodge bullets. We've now spent several chapters on an extended fight scene where the outcome was never even in question. He could have just snuck out at the beginning and blown up everyone's car instead. That'd also have been actually worthy of a plan.
Chapter 22
The most exciting part was when he popped into some kind of palace and had to apologize profusely to a giant with spiral horns and face paint for interrupting his sentencing of a dangerous pirate and criminal with eight pupils as her captor gazed on through red glasses.
But Mindfang didn't actually get sentenced, the trial wasn't before the Highblood anyway, and she'd already lost an eye by that point.
Until we’re somewhere safe and away from prying eyes this box is staying closed.”
“Then where to shall we go?” Inspector asks.
“My office.”
...because the known location of his office is so much safer than the unknown location of the car?
Why is it so important they open the box, anyway? It's not to verify what's inside, because if that was a worry they should have checked at the warehouse before leaving. And he wasn't told to take it out and mess around with it, he was told to deliver it to her. He can do that fine with it still in the box.
You’d think the mysterious broad would want her damn necklace. You’d think that she’d make herself easy to reach when she’s made it clear she’s watching your every move.
But honestly, you’re not surprised.
Looks like you’re giving it to Wallstreet Keynoter first thing in the morning. Promises be damned, at least he’s not the biggest pain in the ass you’ve ever had to deal with.
And Sleuth continues to be an enormous asshole, I see.
Chapter 23
Well, I suppose that goes a long way to explain why Snowman was throttling Crowbar earlier and saying he was an idiotic fuckup. He actually is!
I have no idea why she's screaming, though. She's pretty calm when removing parts from Slick.
You’ve gained a smidgeon of respect for him. Running the Felt is a thankless job, and the guy can’t catch a break.
Uh, what? She's right. He was about to pop his head up because he thought it was WQ. But Crowbar couldn't wait two seconds to see if Sleuth would actually show up, and then started insisting Sleuth wasn't even there when Sleuth is, and then that searching the room for, say, hidden passages like the one Sleuth is currently in with the necklace is a waste of time. He fucked up here.
You’re glad to see him get beat up by a girl.
Of course, that would be assuming this fic isn't just being horribly misogynistic, which as you quickly remind me, it is.
Incidentally, she's not a girl, she's an adult woman.
Maillady tenses up like she’s just been caught doing something incredibly stupid. “Oh.” She puts the lockbox back on the table, treating it like a metal container instead of a priceless artifact. “That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense, actually.” Maillady nervously laughs.
Sleuth wants to press the issue. Why would she think the box was the Sapphire? That's downright idiotic. But Sleuth decides it’s not worth it. What would it prove? That Maillady isn’t the sharpest paper in the ream? She already knows that, and Sleuth isn’t about to rub it in.
It's actually sort of impressive just how nasty this manages to get.
The Sapphire of Alternia is the White King’s Scepter.
Huh. Well, I guess that'd explain how powerful it apparently is.
But it doesn't make too much sense. The reckoning is triggered by the Black King getting the White King's Scepter. So they'd have had to get it back afterward, assuming it wasn't just destroyed by Derse once they had it (and why not, if it has no other purpose?). I'm assuming there's going to be some explanation, but...
And if the prototyping objects still work, shouldn't WQ still have her ring?
Chapter 24
And more of women doing nothing but fight over this asshole and get treated like idiots.
“It was when Wallstreet Keynoter was surrendering. He handed his scepter over to the Black King. Those kids tried to grab it before he started the Reckoning, but they were too late. They still managed to take it from him somehow, but the Black King transformed and put a stop to that. They got away, but he swatted the girl trying to fly away with it. She got knocked away. The White King’s Scepter got knocked away even further.” Sleuth finishes.
The kids aren't there at the time. We know because by the time they fought BK the Veil had been mostly emptied. And there's no point in stealing it from him after he triggers the Reckoning, because it doesn't seem to do anything at that point.
“Let me tell ya, if I were telling it you’d be tearing up right now, ready to hold me for hours while I put on the waterworks.”
Deferrer looks unimpressed. “That actually worked?”
Sleuth stuffs a cigarette in his mouth. “’Course it did.” He says confidently.
Manipulativing women into having sex with you is not actually as positive a trait as you seem to think it is.
I thought you were looking for it for Wealthy Quantifier.”
“I was.” Sleuth says. “And I was about ready to give it to her. But it’ll be less of a headache to give it to Wallstreet Keynoter.”
“You can’t be serious.” Deferrer says.
“Why not? It’s his.” Sleuth says. “It’s the White King’s Scepter, and he used to be the White King. I’d be returning property to its original owner.”
That wasn't even his reason. His reason was that she didn't pick up a phone as soon as he called to get it.
Sleuth really didn’t need any convincing. The moment he knew what the Sapphire of Alternia was he knew he couldn’t give it to Wallstreet Keynoter.
Oh god, it's like the fail cherry on top of the whole conversation. They can't even convince him by pointing things out, the only reason he's going along with it is he'd already decided on the other course of action but was just dragging his feet and saying otherwise because he finds it fun or something.
Well, it'll make a good present for Hysterical Dame. It’s a bit different than what she’s used to but she’ll like it all the same.
Ah, yes, Love Interest Not Important Enough To Actually Ever Appear In This Fanfic, I'm sure she'll be glad he at least found the time to think about her.
“Don’t let anyone see that. Which means,” Sleuth points a finger at the exposed carapace of her chest. “Today, your buttons go to the top.” Sleuth smirks.
Oh jesus christ.
Sleuth stares at her chest. “Same deal with you.” He says. “You show too much cleavage anyway.”
How can you even write this.
“Trollop.”
“Hussy.”
“You just keep your hands off him.”
“And what are you gonna do about it? Take a detour from your mail route and make me pay?”
“You bet I will. You’ve had it coming for a while now.”
“I’d love to see you try.”
“Nobody messes with the mail in this town. Ya wanna find out why?”
“Ya have to catch me first.”
“Ain’t so fast out of your cab. Ain’t so tough either.”
“Knock it off.” Problem Sleuth shouts to the arguing women behind him. “You can kill each other when you’re done helping me.”
Really. How do you think this kind of this is okay?
“This isn’t my problem. I had nothing to do with it.” He says. “Besides, he’s a nice guy. Don’t be so quick to shoot him down.”
No, he's a Nice Guy. Because actual nice guys don't trick women into giving them their phone numbers for other reasons then call incessantly to hit on them. And Sleuth's evidently one as well. Just because someone's nice doesn't mean a woman's obligated to like him.
Chapter 25
“Quit gawking. Come on.” He says as he roughly shoves Sleuth towards the stage.
“But her coat tails are so distracting.” Sleuth says. “What’s it like working with her?”
“Shut up, Sleuth.”
“It can’t be fun getting beat up by a woman. But the view has to more than make up for it.”
Of course all he can really think to do when dealing with some mysterious female is to reduce her to her appearance.
“Once you get on her good side it shouldn’t be too bad.” Sleuth says. “You’re on her good side, right? Can’t imagine what it’d be like if you weren’t.”
Crowbar takes a breath and grits his teeth. Snowman walks up the stage and disappears behind a curtain.
“So what’s it like?” Sleuth says in a hushed voice.
“Better than being with Hysterical Dame by choice.”
Ugh, and now Crowbar's doing it too.
“You’ll pay for that remark, Crowbar.” Snowman shouts in a sing-song from behind the curtain.
As well she should.
and several effigies. Stitch is busy adjusting the limbs of an effigy wearing a blue top hat
Wait, why is he doing that here instead of at the mansion?
“Crowbar, I believe you had an issue you wished to discuss with Problem Sleuth.” Snowman says.
The next thing Sleuth knows his face is on the floor and the back of his head is throbbing. Not even a moment’s hesitation or a warning.
Okay, that was funny. He should've seen that coming, all she did was object to Crowbar bashing his head in where the blood would show.
When’s your next concert? Years go by between them and I was hoping I could convince you to put one on sooner rather than later.”
Snowman glares hellfury and damnation and daggers and all sorts of other nasty things at Sleuth.
Why is she losing her temper over something so minor?
“Stitch.” She calls without breaking her glare. “Prepare an effigy of Problem Sleuth, please.”
“I already told you, I ain’t helping. I’m busy keeping this gang from falling apart.”
Then why is he even here, and why is she bothering to ask? Also, why does no one get that it's a bad idea to argue in front of an outsider? If Stitch doesn't have the time to fix up an extra effigy, he can still say he does so Sleuth will think they're able to hurt him that badly.
I'm not sure why Snowman is explaining tortures instead of just getting started. She should at least be getting Sleuth tied up.
Sleuth groans and sighs, not because he’s scared of the torture but because it’s annoying listening to Snowman drone on about it.
Why are her threats meaningless? He just got through claiming Snowman is extremely dangerous and prone to overkill.
“I don’t want to suggest that you’re not perfectly capable of doing everything I do on a daily basis because you’ve made sure to make that clear on multiple occasions,” Crowbar says slightly sarcastically, “But since you’re more often than not too busy smoking cigarettes or sleeping in or just plain not interested enough to get involved in the cogs and gears of the Felt, maybe you should let me tell you how much we actually have to give away before you promise Problem Sleuth something impossible.”
psst! Crowbar! I don't think she was actually going to go through with giving him the money. I think she just wants to know where the damn thing is.
In fact, given how he's acting I think he's going to be another of the Felt's horribly mutilated bodies pretty soon. Couldn't happen to a Nicer Guy.
Trace’s and Fin’s are in similar shape, and they’re soaking wet for some reason. He points at the two. “I thought I killed them.”
Stitch smiles. “You would’ve too if it weren’t for me.”
“We love this guy.” Cans pats Stitch lightly on his back. “’e keeps us alive even when we oughtn’t."
“So why aren’t they dead?” Sleuth asks.
“Do you know what happens to an effigy when a member of the Felt dies?”
Sleuth tries to think. “No.”
“Then shut up. It wouldn’t make sense to you and I’m not about to tell you our secrets.”
Huh, that's clever. It does sort of beg the question of why he doesn't just keep them soaking wet, but maybe there's ill effects for doing that.
Crowbar walks back from the back stage doors. Snowman emerges from a dark corner of the room and both walk towards Sleuth. Sleuth turns around and raises a brow, waiting for them to speak.
“We have considered your offer, Problem Sleuth.” Snowman says. “We have decided that, instead of paying you money, we would rather coerce the location of the Sapphire of Alternia out of you.”
Why the fuck does she need Crowbar to explain this to her. She was just threatening to torture him into talking a minute ago.
Where is the Sapphire of Alternia?” Snowman shouts.
Sleuth breathlessly chuckles. “In my office safe.”
Snowman glares at Crowbar. “I told you to get that open!”
“Are you seriously falling for that?” Crowbar asks. “It wouldn’t even be in there.”
Why the fuck wouldn't Snowman be able to tell this on her own?
And now she's been goaded into flipping out because women are just so crazy and irrational, nevermind her never acting like this at any point ever in canon.
And despite flipping out and trying to murder him, she's just punching him and not, say, stabbing her lance through his chest.
“I will kill him!” She screams, struggling against Cans’ unbreakable grip. “No one talks to me like that! No one! No one dares say those things to me!”
“Don’t let ‘im get to you.” Cans says.
“I am the Queen of Derse! Do not treat me like I am a tantruming child!” Snowman shouts.
Snowman makes a good point. You really shouldn't have decided to write her as a tantruming child. When your own characters are pointing out your errors, its' pretty bad.
Also Snowman can teleport. It doesn't matter how unbreakable a grip it is.
Sleuth blinks several times. He’s surprised he stayed alert through all of that. All things considered, Snowman punches like a woman.
Oh fuck you.
Why doesn’t she just teleport out of Cans’ grip? Is this some sort of good cop, bad cop routine?
So you're either pointing out your own plot hole, or you're substituting one for another, given that Snowman flipping out doesn't serve any point and they already had a good cop/bad cop thing going on because Crowbar wanted to just kill Sleuth and Snowman wanted him alive.
And now she suddenly remembers she can teleport again for still no discernible reason.
“So you think you know me?” Sleuth asks. “Would I hit a woman?”
Snowman grins. “Oh, no. You are much too respectful and chivalrous for that.”
“How about this?” Sleuth reaches a hand behind Snowman and grabs hold.
Refusing to hit a woman is not so much respectful as condescending. And you can really see it in exchanges like this, where the character is too "respectful" to treat them like an opponent, but not so much they won't treat them as a sex object.
Snowman lets go of the whip with a disgusted gasp and pushes Sleuth away.
NO SHOOT HIS FUCKING ARM OFF
“That’s it?” Crowbar asks. “That’s all he has to do?”
Snowman chews on the holder for a moment and levels a vicious glare at Crowbar. “Do not dare follow his example.”
Sleuth unwraps the whip around his neck. “That’s an invitation if I ever heard one.”
Snowman breathes in and lets the remark pass. She’s still staring fury at Sleuth but her vicious rage has subsided.
Why would being groped and then Sleuth encouraging someone else to grope her make her less furious?
“Clearly I do not understand Problem Sleuth as well as I thought.
That's pretty much how he's been acting this entire fic. It's how he was acting a few minutes ago when he started chatting with Crowbar about how hot her ass looked. I'm sure she'd have noticed it long ago.
“He could have been broken.” Snowman says to herself.
“Not Problem Sleuth.” Crowbar says
No idea why they have such a high opinion of him. Even if he's hard to torture, that torturing his friends plan is also still totally an option.
“What do you know?” Sleuth says. “I’m still alive.”
The guard opens a door for him. “Hope you don’t stay that way.”
“Same to you, pal.” Sleuth says
So that's what, 2/? innocent people assaulted by Sleuth that he's then a dick to afterward when they have the gall to act upset by this.
“This sort of thing happens every time I see her.” Sleuth says. “But she’s got one hell of a strut. Seeing that more than makes up for the bloody mouth.”
Oh joy we're still on this horrible track aren't we. At least it's not really worse so much as just more of the same.
“On second thought, it’s not that great. Second only to one.”
“Oh?” Deferrer says, her eyes twinkling in the mirror. “Who takes first?”
Sleuth smirks. “Wealthy Quantifier.”
...and now it's worse. Jesus.
Chapter 26
“One way or the other we’re stopping.” Deferrer says. “I’d rather do it while I’ve got your keys handy than without.”
Problem Sleuth doesn’t have the heart to tell her that he’s completely out of ammo.
Why doesn't he "have the heart" to tell her important information with a direct bearing on her survival? Also, why doesn't he just go get more ammo already.
A man steps into the bathroom, and sees Problem Sleuth gazing at the tube of lipstick intently. Problem Sleuth looks at him and stares him down. He backs out of the room quickly.
==>
You’re really glad you don’t know that guy. If it was someone you knew you’d probably have to beat them so they can’t speak again.
Okay, the lipstick joke? It's gotten old and is now sliding well toward -phobic.
“I spotted Persevering Maillady along her route and asked her about you. She said you were with that whore cab driver of yours.”
The worst part about all this is I really get the sense it's all a joke. That you think misogyny is the funniest B-plot imaginable.
“You know, she was hoping you were gonna call her and ask her out, with how she gave you her number.” Sleuth says. “Guess she knows now you’re not interested.”
Neither is this particularly funny. Women really don't like having people encourage a guy they're not interested to hit on them more by lying and saying that no really, she's totally into you.
“I couldn’t possibly let you do something like that for me, Anarchy Repressor.” Deferrer says seductively.
“Well,” Repressor says. “It is entirely up to me.”
“But that would be against,” She says with a small pout. “The law.” She says breathily.
Same thing as all the other times I've complained.
It's also pretty OOC for AR, even assuming this is just to distract the other guy so Sleuth can escape.
Did you seriously just let Problem Sleuth get away like that?
Because it looks like you seriously just let Problem Sleuth get away like that.
You are such a disgrace. Not because you get a monthly check from Diamonds Droog, but because you're terrible at pretending to be a cop.
This, on the other hand? Legitimately mildly amusing.
“But how did that even happen? I’ve got enough traffic violations to fill a phone book. I don’t know why he gave it up.”
“I may have implied that he totally blew whatever chance he had with you by letting you get that ticket.”
“Oh.” She says. It’s apparently not what she expected.
Sleuth picks up on it. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” Deferrer says, dissatisfied. “Just tell me I don’t have to be nice to him now.”
“It’d be the graceful thing to do.”
Not really. This is more Nice Guy reasoning. If he's only doing something to get in her pants, she's not obligated to act like it's a sign he's just a friendly person. Also, wasn't the reason to help Sleuth escape? Because he has no reason to lie. Unless, I guess, he's trying to trick her into feeling obligated to fuck AR.
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Date: 2011-10-31 01:25 am (UTC)And yet, it is still nothing compared to how much this fic and its author hate women.
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Date: 2011-10-31 01:39 am (UTC)He's actually pretty hateful toward male characters who aren't Problem Sue as well, it's just he outdid himself with the female ones so they come off looking pretty good in comparison.
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Date: 2011-10-31 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-31 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-31 02:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-31 02:28 am (UTC)But yeah, there's a handful of male characters that get decent treatment compared to zero female ones. I think it's because it's embarrassing by proxy if Problem Sue only deals with incompetents (in the same way as Crowbar is getting indirectly bashed by having the rest of the Felt be fuckups) while a guy hanging out with idiot women is just normal.