Fanlib ninja evil

[farla]

So I wrote my first piece of bible fanfic and just posted it on Fanlib. I'm tempted to give no link, but then interested people would have to click through the site and give them extra hits, so it can be found at http://www.fanlib.com/fanfic/Traditional_Values___The_Daughters__Lot/2edlf7 (best viewed with Adblock or some similar program so they don't get advertising dollars).

I'm planning to alternative posting two story sets, "traditional values" and "contemporary themes". Because fuck them, being gay is not a "contemporary theme" that needs the same rating as small children being raped to death by zombie dogs. You want stuff that's inappropriate for kids? That'd be the actual bible, thanks.

And because I want to be noisy and annoying about it, rather than just post and move along, I toddled off to the forum they nicely set up for spamming about your fanfic, and innocently posted about my awesome new fanfic.

Comments

Wow. That's awesome.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Of course, no one's going to get it. Absolutely no one. First of all because it's subtle, and fanbrats need to be bludgeoned over the head with a clue bat multiple times before they pick up on anything. Second, you aren't just rewriting canon; you're rewriting Canon. I don't think many people will be able to wrap their minds around that.

Re: Wow. That's awesome.

[farla.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I figure one of several things will happen-

A) OMG YOU WROTE A STORY WITH INCEST THAT IS SO NOT IN THE BIBLE. EW. EW!!!

B) OMG BIBLEFIC OF ANY KIND THAT IS NOT RATED ADULT HORRORS RUN NOW!!!

C) Huh...no wait...Lot WHAT? OMG I AM OFFENDED. MY VIRGIN EYES.

And really, A and B work just as well as C.

Besides, I have another story I'll post next involving the bible's surprisingly progressive for the time rape laws, and why they still have loopholes you could ride a caravan through. And then a totally appropriate one that involves women's rights, a contemporary issue. Unless they're just afraid of the gay, they'll have to rate that adult too. And so forth.

Re: Wow. That's awesome.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Yes, it occured to me that A might happen. I don't really understand B, but I suppose that's probably just my lack of familiarity with Fanlib.

On an only marginally related note, I've seen Biblefic Sues on FF.net, including one girl who discovers the Arc of the Covenant and gets engaged to... wait for it... Yahweh.

I love the internet.

Re: Wow. That's awesome.

[farla.livejournal.com]

I don't really understand B, but I suppose that's probably just my lack of familiarity with Fanlib.

B is what made me decide to write biblefic. Back when the whole thing began, one of the mods commented on how awesome and enlightened and nonjudgemental they were, because, he said, someone had just submitted bibleslash, and they had allowed it to stay up but rerated it adult and hidden behind their filter. (Bibleslash as in "oh hey, two guys" not "oh hey, two guys fucking", for the record.) And when I tried to force them to either give a sane explanation or admit that they just censored something because of teh gey...

By rating a Bible Fanfic that contains contemporary themes Adult, we are simply making an attempt to compromise by allowing the fic, but moving it to a place where someone who might be offended will not randomly "happen" across it. We're not saying there's anything wrong with, or passing judgment upon this type of fiction. (http://www.fanlib.com/posts/list/30/165.page#2742)

The Hell?

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

The other people in that thread... They... My God, what's WRONG with them? I've heard of selective hearing, but selective reading?

Re: The Hell?

[farla.livejournal.com]

You've unfortunately just summed up most of the threads on Fanlib. They're a special breed of batshit over there.

(Personally...I'm starting to wonder if a number of the posters aren't on payroll. Normally this would be complete conspiracy-theory crap, but Fanlib has had people go around to other sites under false names pretending to be actual enthusiasts, so seeding their own forums wouldn't be much of a change. It would go a long way toward explaining why there seems to be a set of people who all make the exact same lucky misinterpretations of stuff.)

Re: The Hell?

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Kill it. Kill it with poison and fire.

Re: The Hell?

[farla.livejournal.com]

No! Don't you understand, they're staffed by hellspawn. YOU'RE JUST PLAYING INTO THEIR HANDS!!!

We need holy water for this one.

Re: The Hell?

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

This is true.

Well, no explosion so far - just someone who doesn't get the concept of writing exactly as much as you need to to get the idea across. Damnit. I'm far too impatient.

I'm Eva_Cantrell, by the way, lest you think there might actually be someone with half a clue frequenting that site.

Re: The Hell?

[farla.livejournal.com]

...that's strangely good to know. It actually was pretty worrisome to imagine someone sane was there.

And yes, disappointing. I'll have to step right up to writing about a bisexual Jesus who gets Judas and Mary hated by the rest of the apostles out of spite.