More Shiny Assassin Musing
Sep. 18th, 2004 11:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
farlaI'm in another musing mood, so, more on the Shiny Assassin. Seriously, this kind of story should be worshiped for what it is – the ultimate, perfect, wonderful example of the novice writer.
The second chapter opens with the focus on pokemon. A girafarig has just had a foal. Before I go further, I'd like to note that what Zanna Taru tried to do here is good. She's taken the focus off her trainer and is giving us a view into the pokemon.
That said, she also shows her inexperience. ::sigh:: Reading this story makes me feel nostalgic for the days when I, too, would just write without thinking, never deleting, and trying to correct inaccuracies and errors with even more writing.
The girafarig has a 'newly born' foal. Since in the games pokemon hatch from eggs, and I'm not yet aware of any live births being shown on the anime, either the baby should have hatched or else there should be some small note about it woven into the text explaining why this is. I'd even settle for an author note above the story like: "I know that pokemon hatch from eggs in the game but I think it makes more sense for girafarig/all pokemon/some pokemon to give birth live because…" The girafarig mother also takes a moment to realize the baby is a shiny. This despite the fact that in the game and anime, shiny pokemon don't just have different colors, they also sparkle. Very, very noticeably sparkle. Anyway, this observation doesn't disturb the mother at all("She shrugged it off and continued grooming"). A pokemon, who is a member of an insanely identical species, doesn't think anything of her child looking very different.
See? The author is trying, but at the same time doesn't care. She doesn't really think about what the girafarig might think or why. She's just trying to tell us that Baby is shiny because that's all that matters.
What would the mother think? Would she be anxious because she didn't know why her foal was a different color? Why doesn't she know what shiny pokemon are? Would she worry the foal's distinctive coloring and sparkles would attract predators (especially houndoom, I'd imagine, since it'd be very noticeable at night and girafarig are part psychic)?
But this doesn't occur to the author at the time.
I'd like to take a moment now to question the entire idea of girafarig in herds. I'm not aware of if the anime addresses it because I stopped watching it midway into Johto. If it does, then ignore my musing on how the herd would be organized. But if it doesn't, girafarig are supposed to be partially based on giraffes. Who's to say they'd be in strict herds to start? How would those herds be organized? The idea of herds being led by a single strong male is a fallacy. Sheep, for example, are usually led by the oldest female (because daughters follow mothers. Thus the oldest sheep usually has the largest number of daughters, granddaughters, and great-grandaughters, so that most of the herd goes with her, and the rest follow the herd). There are also goats, donkeys, zebras, buffalo – not everything is based off horses, and just because you went through a phase where you thought horses were cool and read a bunch of romanticized crap about noble stallions doesn't mean you need to stay ignorant. Giraffes have very loose herds. The mother and father would probably separate pretty early on, once mating season ended. There also wouldn't be any established group for the herd.
Also, is the baby a foal? Foals refer to equine young, mainly horse. Whether or not girafarig can be considered equine is hard to say. However, a baby giraffe is referred to as a calf.
Next we discover that the father is the 'stallion' of the herd. No, Zanna Taru, no. Stallion refers to a male horse capable of breeding. Unless this herd is owned by humans and all the other males are gelded, all the males should be intact. While we're at it, male giraffes are not stallions. Stallion refers to horse. Unless this was a subtle hint that the father was a rapidash, don't refer to him as a stallion.
An adult male giraffe is called a bull, and a female is a cow, for those wondering. I don't really want to demand people use this, but don't call everything a horse.
Also, giraffes have very loose herds. They don't have 'the' anything. The herd may be made entirely of males or females. It may be made entirely of weaned young. It can be made of absolutely anything. And these are not horses.
Anyway, the father is worried about his "best friend and mate". Gah. God forbid pokemon mate for the purpose of reproduction. No, they must have deep emotional commitment.
Now we get into the shiny worrying. Zanna Taru has the 'stallion' know what shiny pokemon are and explain. Let me give a hearty BAH! to the whole concept. These are pokemon. In a herd. Do not have one know special information and the other not. Any known information should be known by everyone.
Anyway, apparently the only problem with shinies is that humans capture them. Bah again. And the 'stallion' (yes, he has a name, but it slips out of my memory the moment I take my eyes off the word) is very proud to be the father. Why? No reason. He's just proud that his foal will have problems("Shiny’s are almost always miserable in their life"), I guess, seeing as he mentions no redeeming benefits for shiny pokemon.
Now there's a scene change. We're told two years have passed.
Zara is winning a battle. Easily, as far as I can tell, as there is no mention of her pokemon being tired. Rubino (I'd like to mention that Zanna Taru needs to think more about nicknames) knocks out a "high level" snorlax (who has no nickname. I really hate the way minor trainers are treated in fanfic. If all the important characters we run across give nicknames, than surely the minor ones would as well. I remember doing this too, and I know a lot of people do.). The girl then sends out a ponyta.
Here the WTF starts. Zara recalls her gyarados so she won't have an "unfair advantage". Because it's so unfair to use type matching, yes it is. Sure, if you cared about your pokemon you'd want to put them in battles they could win with the minimum amount of pain, but who really cares about them anyway? No, it's far more important to consider the other trainer's feelings.
(I really would like to see more consideration of pokemon in OT stories. Hm, another chapter of Unoriginality… )
So Zara switches to Sunflash. Note that I can manage to write the extra three letters without hurting myself. "[Zara] looked worriedly at the scrawny Ponyta and sighed, too many people were challenging her that simply weren’t ready for such a test. But she had accepted this battle because the Snorlax was on a high level, and that meant that she had to fight the Ponyta as well." Insta-Sue! She's so incredibly awesome she can't even find strong enough people to fight (even though she only has two pokemon both of whom are weak to electric)
"“Ponyta, Take Down!”
Zara watched in horror as Flash was slammed into the ground. She was relieved when he stood back up, mostly unscathed except for a few bruises."
Because Zara Cares™. She deeply and sincerely cares about her pokemon and this sort of crap is what you'll see in most of the OT stories now. Sure, she makes them battle. Sure, she deliberately switched out Rubino who might have been able to win without getting hurt. But she still cares.
Also note that the author doesn't seem to want to admit this. Sunflash isn't badly injured, perhaps because that might raise the question of how she can care about pokemon and let them get hurt. At its core, there's the classic problem. On the one hand, you'd like to be a trainer. On the other, you want to be seen as nice to your pokemon. Zanna Taru takes the easy way out, as do most authors.
(I'd also like to see this dealt with more realistically in OT stories).
Next the ponyta is ordered to do another take-down, and Zara yells at the trainer to stop. Why? " “That Ponyta won’t be able to stand another Take Down. If this continues, it will get seriously hurt!”
The girl looked at her Ponyta, and back to Flash, and then at Zara. Her eyes widened, and she ran up to her Ponyta.
“Oh my goodness! Ponyta, are you okay? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking! I even forgot to tell Snorlax that he did a good job! Can you ever forgive me?” she sobbed." You know what I just said earlier about Insta-Sue? Multiple that three-fold or so. Zara is so nice she's just shown up another trainer…who immediately sees their mistake.
(Note that if Zara really cared, she could have just called off the battle.)
Then Zara shows off her l33t pokemon speech powers to the girl, who's duly surprised, despite Zara's simple explanation ("Sunflash taught me").
Anyway, it turns out the ponyta's name is Cinder (the herd, I assume, had twenty-five Cinders, seventeen Blazes, twenty-three Flames and one Molly) despite the fact the names of the girafarig earlier were Malara and Tano. This is basically just a failure to think. Just as you should make human names consistent (or, Starflame, Sam, and Ytyo shouldn't coexist in the same hometown without explanation) you should make pokemon names consistent. Either they have random syllables or they have names made of words. Some differences between groups is fine, but it requires explanation.
The story ends with some Random Capitalization (“Yeah, Thanks!” exclaimed the Girl, “Hey, what’s your name? I’m Sage.”) as well as some iffy grammar (there shouldn't have been a comma there…) and then they both fly off to the pokemon center.
Now Chapter Three.
It opens with a major peeve of mine. The magical humans in pokemon skin.
"“Yes, mom, I know! You’ve told me a thousand times to stay away from humans!” said the blue Girafarig, becoming frustrated, “I won’t go near any, Okay! I mean, I’m old enough to take care of myself now!” "
Gak. This is such a common problem. Firstly, the disrespect toward parents in pretty much unique to modern western society. Secondly, acting like it doesn't matter is something that shouldn't happen. By this point in time plenty of predator pokemon should have come after the herd (and in my ever unhumble opinion, they should be a lot more worried about that than trainers) so the girafarig shouldn't have the 'I can live forever' attitude. Like the disrespect toward parents, that requires modern society where children are so heavily insulated from actual danger we become idiots. The girafarig is in very real danger. This is not your mother warning you to get home by curfew or not to sit too close to the TV. And thirdly, herd animal. They are never old enough to take care of themselves, that's WHY THEY LIVE IN HERDS. Leaving the herd is done in order to FIND ANOTHER HERD. The timeperiod between is when you're easy prey. You can't eat or sleep because you're always on the watch. You can't go near water because something might be waiting. It's pretty stressful.
(And I feel obliged to add that 'blue' is a poor description. He's not blue. He has a blue nose and very small blue markings.)
Also, note that 'mom' is not capitalized. This is something I see a lot in fanfiction, which confuses me. I can remember being in first grade and having the teacher explain when to capitalize 'mom' and 'dad'.
Also, based on the note last chapter, we can assume this is at least two years after birth. Foals are weaned after one year. Giraffes do not have strict herds, so the young do not leave, although they may well wander off as time passes into a new herd.
Next we discover his name is Azul. Despite what I just said about him not being blue, and what I said a bit earlier about naming consistency, this actually is a pretty decent name. No other girafarig around has blue markings, so it's not that hard to believe he would get named after them. Okay, Azul is a slightly overdone name, but still, it fits (and it's better then Sunflash, Rubino, or Cinder).
Then his father shows up and I cringe as Zanna Taru makes it clear she is determined to make girafarig have human behavior. Of course neither parent has had other children. Of course the father hasn't sired a dozen other 'foals' by now (seeing as he's the one and only male of their herd, as far as I can tell). Nope, they're people.
The father says "If you look back, you’ll only want to come back for the rest of your life".
This is just ridiculous. I'm sure Zanna Taru has her reasons. I'm sure she's trying to give the characters emotional depth and cause a touch of dramatic angstyness, but no, no, a thousand times no! Leaving home is not that awful. As Zanna Taru claims to be eighteen, she should know that. And any established system can't have a single look back making the leaver want to return for their entire life. Not only is that way too extreme, most animals will naturally leave when the time comes. Hell, plenty of people will.
It switches to Zara landing. (She says the hated 'now you can rest' line to her charizard too…).
Sage speaks. "“Hey Zara!” called Sage, “Thank you for bringing me to the Pokemon Center, and helping me realize how stupid I was being.”"
I think sueness speaks for itself, so I'll just point out a more minor but common problem. Sage rode on the charizard, so she's now standing right next to Zara. Why does it say she 'called'? Because someone told the author once not to overuse 'said', I bet.
The two girls sit down, say some unnecessary things, and then we hear the following conversation:
"“My Flareon is the best!” said one boy, “She can easily beat a Cloyster!”
“Oh, yeah? My Skiploom could whip your Flareon any day!”"
A flareon could beat a cloyster? And a skiploom could beat a flareon? I'm not quite sure what Zanna Taru was trying to do here. It's possible she was just attempting to avoid having the trainers say their pokemon could beat another based on type advantage, but it looks ridiculous. Consider the alternative:
"My jolteon could beat your skiploom!"
"Oh yeah? My primeape could beat your jolteon!"
There's also the minor problem of who's speaking. If it's only two people, why doesn't the second speaker say that his cloyster could defeat the flareon? The dialogue needs to be better thought out.
And then the chapter ends with this:
"“What about you two? You girls think you have anything that can beat my Flareon?”
Zara, fighting spirit riled, stood to her full height, which was a full seven inches taller than the boy, and looked down at him menacingly.
“Easily!”
“Well then! How about a battle once I’m finished with his Skiploom?” quipped the boy, undaunted by Zara’s confidence.
“You’re on!”"
Just minutes ago Zara was thinking about how she didn't like fighting people below her level. She intervened before the other trainer could finish the fight because she was worried about the ponyta. Yet a boy (who, from what is shown, seems anything but experienced, and is apparently younger) simply asks if they have anything that can beat his pokemon, and she takes this as a challenge, apparently a great enough one to rile her fighting spirit.
Then the boy quips without actually quipping, which, for those wondering, is:
1.A clever, witty remark often prompted by the occasion.
2.A clever, often sarcastic remark; a gibe.
3.A petty distinction or objection; a quibble.
4.Something curious or odd.
Remember Sage 'calling' to someone next to her? Here it is again, the author using a word that completely and utterly doesn't fit to describe dialogue. Admittedly unfairly, I blame TopazSoarhire. Just on the offchance the reason for this is the author going to her site and reading the page listing words that can be used in place of 'said'.
So the story ends with the author misusing language, with, I'm sure, the best of intentions.
Perhaps there shall be more of this when again the mood takes me.
The second chapter opens with the focus on pokemon. A girafarig has just had a foal. Before I go further, I'd like to note that what Zanna Taru tried to do here is good. She's taken the focus off her trainer and is giving us a view into the pokemon.
That said, she also shows her inexperience. ::sigh:: Reading this story makes me feel nostalgic for the days when I, too, would just write without thinking, never deleting, and trying to correct inaccuracies and errors with even more writing.
The girafarig has a 'newly born' foal. Since in the games pokemon hatch from eggs, and I'm not yet aware of any live births being shown on the anime, either the baby should have hatched or else there should be some small note about it woven into the text explaining why this is. I'd even settle for an author note above the story like: "I know that pokemon hatch from eggs in the game but I think it makes more sense for girafarig/all pokemon/some pokemon to give birth live because…" The girafarig mother also takes a moment to realize the baby is a shiny. This despite the fact that in the game and anime, shiny pokemon don't just have different colors, they also sparkle. Very, very noticeably sparkle. Anyway, this observation doesn't disturb the mother at all("She shrugged it off and continued grooming"). A pokemon, who is a member of an insanely identical species, doesn't think anything of her child looking very different.
See? The author is trying, but at the same time doesn't care. She doesn't really think about what the girafarig might think or why. She's just trying to tell us that Baby is shiny because that's all that matters.
What would the mother think? Would she be anxious because she didn't know why her foal was a different color? Why doesn't she know what shiny pokemon are? Would she worry the foal's distinctive coloring and sparkles would attract predators (especially houndoom, I'd imagine, since it'd be very noticeable at night and girafarig are part psychic)?
But this doesn't occur to the author at the time.
I'd like to take a moment now to question the entire idea of girafarig in herds. I'm not aware of if the anime addresses it because I stopped watching it midway into Johto. If it does, then ignore my musing on how the herd would be organized. But if it doesn't, girafarig are supposed to be partially based on giraffes. Who's to say they'd be in strict herds to start? How would those herds be organized? The idea of herds being led by a single strong male is a fallacy. Sheep, for example, are usually led by the oldest female (because daughters follow mothers. Thus the oldest sheep usually has the largest number of daughters, granddaughters, and great-grandaughters, so that most of the herd goes with her, and the rest follow the herd). There are also goats, donkeys, zebras, buffalo – not everything is based off horses, and just because you went through a phase where you thought horses were cool and read a bunch of romanticized crap about noble stallions doesn't mean you need to stay ignorant. Giraffes have very loose herds. The mother and father would probably separate pretty early on, once mating season ended. There also wouldn't be any established group for the herd.
Also, is the baby a foal? Foals refer to equine young, mainly horse. Whether or not girafarig can be considered equine is hard to say. However, a baby giraffe is referred to as a calf.
Next we discover that the father is the 'stallion' of the herd. No, Zanna Taru, no. Stallion refers to a male horse capable of breeding. Unless this herd is owned by humans and all the other males are gelded, all the males should be intact. While we're at it, male giraffes are not stallions. Stallion refers to horse. Unless this was a subtle hint that the father was a rapidash, don't refer to him as a stallion.
An adult male giraffe is called a bull, and a female is a cow, for those wondering. I don't really want to demand people use this, but don't call everything a horse.
Also, giraffes have very loose herds. They don't have 'the' anything. The herd may be made entirely of males or females. It may be made entirely of weaned young. It can be made of absolutely anything. And these are not horses.
Anyway, the father is worried about his "best friend and mate". Gah. God forbid pokemon mate for the purpose of reproduction. No, they must have deep emotional commitment.
Now we get into the shiny worrying. Zanna Taru has the 'stallion' know what shiny pokemon are and explain. Let me give a hearty BAH! to the whole concept. These are pokemon. In a herd. Do not have one know special information and the other not. Any known information should be known by everyone.
Anyway, apparently the only problem with shinies is that humans capture them. Bah again. And the 'stallion' (yes, he has a name, but it slips out of my memory the moment I take my eyes off the word) is very proud to be the father. Why? No reason. He's just proud that his foal will have problems("Shiny’s are almost always miserable in their life"), I guess, seeing as he mentions no redeeming benefits for shiny pokemon.
Now there's a scene change. We're told two years have passed.
Zara is winning a battle. Easily, as far as I can tell, as there is no mention of her pokemon being tired. Rubino (I'd like to mention that Zanna Taru needs to think more about nicknames) knocks out a "high level" snorlax (who has no nickname. I really hate the way minor trainers are treated in fanfic. If all the important characters we run across give nicknames, than surely the minor ones would as well. I remember doing this too, and I know a lot of people do.). The girl then sends out a ponyta.
Here the WTF starts. Zara recalls her gyarados so she won't have an "unfair advantage". Because it's so unfair to use type matching, yes it is. Sure, if you cared about your pokemon you'd want to put them in battles they could win with the minimum amount of pain, but who really cares about them anyway? No, it's far more important to consider the other trainer's feelings.
(I really would like to see more consideration of pokemon in OT stories. Hm, another chapter of Unoriginality… )
So Zara switches to Sunflash. Note that I can manage to write the extra three letters without hurting myself. "[Zara] looked worriedly at the scrawny Ponyta and sighed, too many people were challenging her that simply weren’t ready for such a test. But she had accepted this battle because the Snorlax was on a high level, and that meant that she had to fight the Ponyta as well." Insta-Sue! She's so incredibly awesome she can't even find strong enough people to fight (even though she only has two pokemon both of whom are weak to electric)
"“Ponyta, Take Down!”
Zara watched in horror as Flash was slammed into the ground. She was relieved when he stood back up, mostly unscathed except for a few bruises."
Because Zara Cares™. She deeply and sincerely cares about her pokemon and this sort of crap is what you'll see in most of the OT stories now. Sure, she makes them battle. Sure, she deliberately switched out Rubino who might have been able to win without getting hurt. But she still cares.
Also note that the author doesn't seem to want to admit this. Sunflash isn't badly injured, perhaps because that might raise the question of how she can care about pokemon and let them get hurt. At its core, there's the classic problem. On the one hand, you'd like to be a trainer. On the other, you want to be seen as nice to your pokemon. Zanna Taru takes the easy way out, as do most authors.
(I'd also like to see this dealt with more realistically in OT stories).
Next the ponyta is ordered to do another take-down, and Zara yells at the trainer to stop. Why? " “That Ponyta won’t be able to stand another Take Down. If this continues, it will get seriously hurt!”
The girl looked at her Ponyta, and back to Flash, and then at Zara. Her eyes widened, and she ran up to her Ponyta.
“Oh my goodness! Ponyta, are you okay? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking! I even forgot to tell Snorlax that he did a good job! Can you ever forgive me?” she sobbed." You know what I just said earlier about Insta-Sue? Multiple that three-fold or so. Zara is so nice she's just shown up another trainer…who immediately sees their mistake.
(Note that if Zara really cared, she could have just called off the battle.)
Then Zara shows off her l33t pokemon speech powers to the girl, who's duly surprised, despite Zara's simple explanation ("Sunflash taught me").
Anyway, it turns out the ponyta's name is Cinder (the herd, I assume, had twenty-five Cinders, seventeen Blazes, twenty-three Flames and one Molly) despite the fact the names of the girafarig earlier were Malara and Tano. This is basically just a failure to think. Just as you should make human names consistent (or, Starflame, Sam, and Ytyo shouldn't coexist in the same hometown without explanation) you should make pokemon names consistent. Either they have random syllables or they have names made of words. Some differences between groups is fine, but it requires explanation.
The story ends with some Random Capitalization (“Yeah, Thanks!” exclaimed the Girl, “Hey, what’s your name? I’m Sage.”) as well as some iffy grammar (there shouldn't have been a comma there…) and then they both fly off to the pokemon center.
Now Chapter Three.
It opens with a major peeve of mine. The magical humans in pokemon skin.
"“Yes, mom, I know! You’ve told me a thousand times to stay away from humans!” said the blue Girafarig, becoming frustrated, “I won’t go near any, Okay! I mean, I’m old enough to take care of myself now!” "
Gak. This is such a common problem. Firstly, the disrespect toward parents in pretty much unique to modern western society. Secondly, acting like it doesn't matter is something that shouldn't happen. By this point in time plenty of predator pokemon should have come after the herd (and in my ever unhumble opinion, they should be a lot more worried about that than trainers) so the girafarig shouldn't have the 'I can live forever' attitude. Like the disrespect toward parents, that requires modern society where children are so heavily insulated from actual danger we become idiots. The girafarig is in very real danger. This is not your mother warning you to get home by curfew or not to sit too close to the TV. And thirdly, herd animal. They are never old enough to take care of themselves, that's WHY THEY LIVE IN HERDS. Leaving the herd is done in order to FIND ANOTHER HERD. The timeperiod between is when you're easy prey. You can't eat or sleep because you're always on the watch. You can't go near water because something might be waiting. It's pretty stressful.
(And I feel obliged to add that 'blue' is a poor description. He's not blue. He has a blue nose and very small blue markings.)
Also, note that 'mom' is not capitalized. This is something I see a lot in fanfiction, which confuses me. I can remember being in first grade and having the teacher explain when to capitalize 'mom' and 'dad'.
Also, based on the note last chapter, we can assume this is at least two years after birth. Foals are weaned after one year. Giraffes do not have strict herds, so the young do not leave, although they may well wander off as time passes into a new herd.
Next we discover his name is Azul. Despite what I just said about him not being blue, and what I said a bit earlier about naming consistency, this actually is a pretty decent name. No other girafarig around has blue markings, so it's not that hard to believe he would get named after them. Okay, Azul is a slightly overdone name, but still, it fits (and it's better then Sunflash, Rubino, or Cinder).
Then his father shows up and I cringe as Zanna Taru makes it clear she is determined to make girafarig have human behavior. Of course neither parent has had other children. Of course the father hasn't sired a dozen other 'foals' by now (seeing as he's the one and only male of their herd, as far as I can tell). Nope, they're people.
The father says "If you look back, you’ll only want to come back for the rest of your life".
This is just ridiculous. I'm sure Zanna Taru has her reasons. I'm sure she's trying to give the characters emotional depth and cause a touch of dramatic angstyness, but no, no, a thousand times no! Leaving home is not that awful. As Zanna Taru claims to be eighteen, she should know that. And any established system can't have a single look back making the leaver want to return for their entire life. Not only is that way too extreme, most animals will naturally leave when the time comes. Hell, plenty of people will.
It switches to Zara landing. (She says the hated 'now you can rest' line to her charizard too…).
Sage speaks. "“Hey Zara!” called Sage, “Thank you for bringing me to the Pokemon Center, and helping me realize how stupid I was being.”"
I think sueness speaks for itself, so I'll just point out a more minor but common problem. Sage rode on the charizard, so she's now standing right next to Zara. Why does it say she 'called'? Because someone told the author once not to overuse 'said', I bet.
The two girls sit down, say some unnecessary things, and then we hear the following conversation:
"“My Flareon is the best!” said one boy, “She can easily beat a Cloyster!”
“Oh, yeah? My Skiploom could whip your Flareon any day!”"
A flareon could beat a cloyster? And a skiploom could beat a flareon? I'm not quite sure what Zanna Taru was trying to do here. It's possible she was just attempting to avoid having the trainers say their pokemon could beat another based on type advantage, but it looks ridiculous. Consider the alternative:
"My jolteon could beat your skiploom!"
"Oh yeah? My primeape could beat your jolteon!"
There's also the minor problem of who's speaking. If it's only two people, why doesn't the second speaker say that his cloyster could defeat the flareon? The dialogue needs to be better thought out.
And then the chapter ends with this:
"“What about you two? You girls think you have anything that can beat my Flareon?”
Zara, fighting spirit riled, stood to her full height, which was a full seven inches taller than the boy, and looked down at him menacingly.
“Easily!”
“Well then! How about a battle once I’m finished with his Skiploom?” quipped the boy, undaunted by Zara’s confidence.
“You’re on!”"
Just minutes ago Zara was thinking about how she didn't like fighting people below her level. She intervened before the other trainer could finish the fight because she was worried about the ponyta. Yet a boy (who, from what is shown, seems anything but experienced, and is apparently younger) simply asks if they have anything that can beat his pokemon, and she takes this as a challenge, apparently a great enough one to rile her fighting spirit.
Then the boy quips without actually quipping, which, for those wondering, is:
1.A clever, witty remark often prompted by the occasion.
2.A clever, often sarcastic remark; a gibe.
3.A petty distinction or objection; a quibble.
4.Something curious or odd.
Remember Sage 'calling' to someone next to her? Here it is again, the author using a word that completely and utterly doesn't fit to describe dialogue. Admittedly unfairly, I blame TopazSoarhire. Just on the offchance the reason for this is the author going to her site and reading the page listing words that can be used in place of 'said'.
So the story ends with the author misusing language, with, I'm sure, the best of intentions.
Perhaps there shall be more of this when again the mood takes me.
