Left Alone Ch6

[farla]

Careful/What You Say is up.


Jason Gall - Jason, as in the husband of Medina and close to 'Jonah'; Gall "A native of the Lowlands of Scotland; any one ignorant of the Gaelic language; a foreigner, stranger. Gal, Gaelic and Cornish British, battle, evil warfare; Gal, Welsh, clear."
Matthew - "if your hand causes you to sin..." My initial thought was to have the one left behind be a Gay Pedophile Priest! but I thought that was overdone, and more to the point a gross misrepresentation of gays, pedophiles and molesting priests. Remember, kids - most pedophiles are heterosexual and most molesting priests are situational ephebophiles, kind of like how some people are situational misogynists in response to not getting laid. Also, gay molesting priests appear to be mostly confined to the Catholic Church. Baptists hire rent boys because they are hypocrites. (This is ironic because the Catholic church is the one with the doctrine of forgiveness.) The more you know!

This chapter is largely adapted from the book's video - in fairness, it's plausible that they have some sort of master rapture-video-sermon passed around, since they apparently do sell rapture tapes. Or he might have been a fan and lifted it from the books first. Since the story is about taking their premises and exploring them, I really couldn't write my own. Also, if I tried to write it, I'd feel like I was being unfair in creating a ridiculous strawman, so it's just tweaked and reworded.

The Corinthians bit is pure coincidence. Isn't it amazing how it seems otherwise?

The abortion line isn't a joke, by the way. In all honesty, if God decides that the unborn are covered by his blanket child rapture, I would seriously consider the idea they have souls. And that's part of what the story's about - having proved that they really are right, what now?

The prayer is creeps me out and will be revisited later.

Comments

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Natural selection. Christianity originally sat down and realized the solution was mass suicide. That turned out not to work so great, and the survivors instituted a suicide ban.

I know. I laughed so hard when I figured that out. There's all sorts of theological reasons given, ranging from the pedantic ("It's a violation of the First Commandment.") to the downright creepy ("You don't own your body, God does, and suicide is vandalism.") But the obvious reason is that since Earth is so shitty and Heaven is so awesome, if the Church God didn't prohibit suicide, there would be no Christians left to vote Republican spread His word.

I intend to take this to its far more worrisome logical conclusion.

Ah, yes. That. 'Course, since the Tribulation is only seven years, it isn't as though any child born after the Rapture will live long enough to be held accountable for their actions. They would do if L&J had used the original "age of reason", but since in their mind sin is synonymous with sexuality they set it at puberty instead.

[farla.livejournal.com]

They had similar issues with castration (that whole "if your hand..." bit) and women wanting to stay virgins. Really, the more I learn about Christianity, the more impressed I am at the amount of rationalizing they did to make what's basically a death cult viable.

'Course, since the Tribulation is only seven years, it isn't as though any child born after the Rapture will live long enough to be held accountable for their actions.

:) But what decent person, knowing about Tribulation, would leave them to live through the whole of it? God's will leads to strange situations at times.