WAT

[farla]

I'm amazed at the character development that you've placed within the story, the way Eon fights so hard for the sake of Pokémon and her dedication towards the cause of Pokémon rights. I have to admit, it's impressive, I knew that if I kept writing a review that started out as complimenting your writing style, well sure as shootin' you'd get hooked into reading it and then I'd be able to say this: GOOD LORD. I'm gonna be honest, writing styles are kind of like the "you are what you eat" deal, and you just went and gobbled down a big old sadist, didn't cha? Killing off a little kid in the forest, having all those Pokémon murder their trainers? And for what? JUSTICE?!

And then there's the OTHER side, humans ENSLAVING their Pokémon! Forcing them to obey!
I'm sorry if you feel that I'm being unfair, but at least I'm being honest. You can judge me if you want to, but there's a pattern in my work: the good guys always have at least one small edge that makes them stronger than the bad guys. In your story, I can't see the light. Sorry if that offends you, but I calls 'em as I sees 'em.

The worst thing you've done is "message rape". This is what happens when you take the idea behind an anime or game and just pervert the HELL out of it. Time and time again Ash, and most people in the Pokémon world, are shown to actually CARE about Pokémon, not just as "pets" but as actual friends and partners. Ash risks his life constantly to keep Pokémon from being endangered or hurt by evil humans, and the Pokémon themselves have said "Pokémon are only bad because master is bad". Meowth is an exception, but the reverse is true: HUMANS are generally good as well, showing love and concern for their Pokémon and for others.

The whole Pokémon anime is based off of the bonds of friendship and how an underdog (Ash) works together with his Pokémon to become truly great…and along the way he continuously helps others, going out of his way to do good. What you’ve done is taken the basic message of Pokémon and bastardized it. You raped the message. And several of the characters, Pikachu included.

It would be ONE thing if your work had some faint glimmer of "hope" in it. Some "light" that showed that ultimately, there was justice waiting for your creation Eon and that he'd be punished for the horrific cruelty that’s been perpetuated by Eon and the Pokémon, or that the humans and Pokémon will reach some form of true understanding, then it would alright…

But there seems to be little of that shown in any of your story here...and the worst part is you seem to REVEL in the brutality Eon and the Pokémon perform. Haven’t you ever heard of the Law of Human Nature? There’s a REASON why the great civilizations all agree on certain things like murder not being okay, not having any woman you like as a wife and that child molestation is just wrong.

A road that makes you enjoy the suffering of other people, regardless of who they are...THAT is a dark road to follow, Farla. A very, very dark road. You should be careful. I hope, if nothing else, this review makes you THINK. You have great talent for writing, but the way you use it seriously frightens me...

Sincerely...

Nick

Comments

Re: ;o

[(Anonymous)]

Were it not for the end of the treatment by Ash's mother (knowing her son would never want to live in a world he couldn’t explore) Ash would have remained as stone in his dream. After this, Ash needed to recover from the damage of the electric therapy. Obviously it was greatly dangerous to him, and in order to reduce the danger Ash's consciousness felt from it, Ash's subconscious began downplaying the effects of electricity in Ash's world, which is why Pikachu’s electric attacks -once noted for their strength by Team Rocket – no longer have any effect on Ash, other than comic relief.

Even the world Ash lives in evidences this. The sprawling forests and eco friendly cities are all his childish innocence. He never travels on a bike despite the distance due to the accident having given him a phobia of them.

As one could see, it is very likely that Ash is trapped in his world. But like every dream, everything, there is a beginning and an end. What would happen if Ash could fully recover? What would happen if he never does? There are infinite branches of possibilities that spiral upwards and intertwine towards the top at a single point, both in his “world” and the real world. In his hospital room, we see Delia, obviously distraught talking to a doctor with a grim look in his eye. He's saying that their insurance is up, and the boy has had no change in brain activity for seven years. That a shock like this may awaken him. She tearfully agrees.

Professor Oak is there to comfort her as they take Ash off life support.



In Ash’s “world”.



Ash has finally defeated the elite four, and one by one the people around him start disappearing. eventually everything is black. Pikachu comes dashing towards him glowing brighter and brighter in the darkness. Eventually Pikachu reaches ash and the two embrace one last time.



Back in his room, as his life signs fade, Ash mutters his genuine, final words.



I...Want...To...Be,



The...Very...Best.

Re: ;o

[(Anonymous)]

The image of his gaunt, tube-fed, ten-some-year bed ridden body on the bed. His head appears bulbous from atrophy. As he utters his last words, he barely opens his eyes, seeing a silhouette of the figure at the center of his turbulent emotions, his mother, her face obstructed by her hands wiping away tears. He makes contact with her eyes and lets out one last tear before losing all strength. She breaks down in hysterics.

The worst part of all this is that Ash will die, never having experienced actual love, imagine if you will, having lived in a world like his, completely shut off from all things but yourself, and your perception of yourself, with nothing but better yourself. No other people to interact with and issues to solve with no guiding hand.

The boy will die, never having known his dream, except as naught but a dream. The second he gets out into reality for that last moment, part of him knows it was all a lie, his faithful Pikachu? His friends? All his imagination, and maybe, he could have fought and clung to life, maybe even made a full recovery. But knowing that his efforts and ambitions had all been for naught, he just gave up and let the motion carry him away, just so he could be with Pikachu, in a place where his friends were waiting.

I would like to think that he'll realize that his mother loved him and was holding out hope that he'd recover all that time. On the flip side, though, when he sees her he knows that the hope she had is totally broken and she'd come to the crushing realization that the worst thing that can befall a parent has happened to her: outliving her only child. At once he knows he is loved and that it means that the one closest to him is utterly crushed.



Still, there are other possibilities. The fountain of time flows in mysterious ways. One could not go back, against the current such as Gatsby; but, one could never see what is waiting for him downstream. Ash finally defeats Lance, only to be confronted by not Gary Oak, but a mute, mirror image of himself.

Re: ;o

[(Anonymous)]

The voice of the narrator speaks to him, telling him that now he can finally escape the prison of his own mind. One by one, his friends appear and melt away into more copies of him, all cheering him on. After a long tough battle against himself with the assistance of all of his Pokémon he had ever befriended, he jolts awake.



In his hospital room he sees his parents asleep; he finds himself unable to speak.

Ash pushes forward towards his recovery. Going through physical therapy, training harder and harder with rehabilitative Pokémon, until he can walk on his own again. This time, an older and wiser ash sets out on a journey. Just like last time, he's late getting to Professor Oak's laboratory. And when there's only one Pokémon left....He suddenly recalls all his memories of his "life" and realizes that all his friends are gone forever.



As he sets out with his new companion, he finds the world is darker than he imagined. More “real”, Pokémon and people die; he too has aged.



He vows to become the Master he dreamed he was. He vows to himself.

He vows to “them”.



I WILL be the very best!"

You SEE!

You've probably tl;dr'ed by now. D:

Re: ;o

[farla.livejournal.com]

I have heard of this theory, thought I hadn't read that exact version. Interesting.

(And the major hole in the Warlorn theory is that this guy seems more coherent. Although I've emailed him, so we'll have to see if his reply heads south for Warlorn-chan range.)

Re: ;o

[charizamdc.livejournal.com]

"He never travels on a bike despite the distance due to the accident having given him a phobia of them."

False, he has ridden a bike to celiver some medicine or something, back when the crew was ash, brock & misty.

The "theory" should make at least some mention of the third film, where Molly is caught in her own dream world. Shouldn't be too hard to add it in.

Pretty funny, though.

Re: ;o

[ngrey651.livejournal.com]

That's kind of a...messed-up theory. You know...

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Sigmund Freud.

Re: ;o

[wonsab.livejournal.com]

You think this is messed up?

I'm tempted to mention some rules of the internet and, if you do not know them, see how long your sanity lasts.

Re: ;o

[ngrey651.livejournal.com]

I've been lasting pretty long. (Snickers) It pays to stick to your guns.

Re: ;o

[wonsab.livejournal.com]

Rules 34, 35, 36, and 39.

Re: ;o

[ngrey651.livejournal.com]

Rule number eight and eleven! XD

Re: ;o

[wonsab.livejournal.com]

Rule 42: Nothing is sacred.

Are we done?

Re: ;o

[ngrey651.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess. Since if I keep arguing, the troll-or-ists will win.

...heh.