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We're doing internet debates for class this week. Personally, I was disappointed stem-cell research wasn't an option (Probably for the best, as my views on the subject might traumatize classmates. I mean, if you're aborting the kid anyway, you might as well hack it up for parts.) I had to settle for genetically engineered crops.
Unfortunately, as is the case for mandated discussion, one of my classmates settled for parroting a bunch of simplistic lines about the risks of genetically engineered food. Do you know that genetically engineered crops KILL BUTTERFLIES? That's like killing puppies!
Yes. Yes, I do. Because they were genetically engineered to produce a common pesticide that killscaterpillars baby butterflies. What is your point? That something happened? Something completely deliberate and expected happened? No! Ban it immediately for the good of the world!
Well. If we're going to get hysterical, let's keep in mind that there are other kinds of scary science stuff going on that's a horrible violation of nature. Remember how they're cloning cows now? (why, of course cloning is the same thing as genetic engineering, kids. Anyone who tells you elsewise is lying.) Scary, huh? I mean, what if you eat it and it turns you into a clone???
Well, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE ALSO CLONED PLANTS??? And that they are included in food WITHOUT ANY LABELS!?!?! That's right, you have probably eaten clone genetically modified super-plants! And not once, but many many times! These UNNATURAL CLONE PLANTS are not regulated by the FDA and NO tests have been done about their safety. These horrors of science will TAKE OVER YOUR BRAIN, KILLING YOU. The only way to remove these dangerous toxins from your body is to drink five gallons of ALL-NATURAL water to flush out the toxic clone cells from your body over the course of a day or two. If you start to feel headaches, that means it's working!
Unfortunately, as is the case for mandated discussion, one of my classmates settled for parroting a bunch of simplistic lines about the risks of genetically engineered food. Do you know that genetically engineered crops KILL BUTTERFLIES? That's like killing puppies!
Yes. Yes, I do. Because they were genetically engineered to produce a common pesticide that kills
Well. If we're going to get hysterical, let's keep in mind that there are other kinds of scary science stuff going on that's a horrible violation of nature. Remember how they're cloning cows now? (why, of course cloning is the same thing as genetic engineering, kids. Anyone who tells you elsewise is lying.) Scary, huh? I mean, what if you eat it and it turns you into a clone???
Well, DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE ALSO CLONED PLANTS??? And that they are included in food WITHOUT ANY LABELS!?!?! That's right, you have probably eaten clone genetically modified super-plants! And not once, but many many times! These UNNATURAL CLONE PLANTS are not regulated by the FDA and NO tests have been done about their safety. These horrors of science will TAKE OVER YOUR BRAIN, KILLING YOU. The only way to remove these dangerous toxins from your body is to drink five gallons of ALL-NATURAL water to flush out the toxic clone cells from your body over the course of a day or two. If you start to feel headaches, that means it's working!
