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http://archiveofourown.org/works/100410
Making Up For Lost Time

The time difference is a clever thought. I like the details throughout this most, though, the things they mention in passing during the argument paint a picture of what's going on now that they've grown up.

And only Rose would make an entire table showing her exact calculations rather than just tell him and be done with it.

Is there any reason the pesterchum signoff is different, or is that just a mistake?

http://archiveofourown.org/works/100421
Inevitable

A nice balance of action and character to this. What I like best is how Davesprite still sounds like himself, it's not as simple as just a flipped switch making him go on a mindless rampage.

There's a couple bits that were unclear though.

He'd figured there'd been a reason future him had said they should take turns going through the last Gate. He'd figured there'd been a reason he'd volunteered them to go first.

When I read this I thought "they" meant Dave and Davesprite, with future him following, not that it was talking about all four players going through one by one.

"Four months or so," said his future. It took Dave a moment to figure out why.

...I still can't figure out quite what that means.

Date: 2010-12-06 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] farla.livejournal.com
Likely "future" to emphasize it's who he'll be shortly. That bit made sense.

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