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farlaVital Statistics (Karkat (Aradia, Sollux, Terezi, Vriska, Tavros, DD, HB, Slick))
the multi-pupilled troll
You really should be careful using epithets. The fact she's got pupils doesn't have anything to do with the fact she's taunting Karkat about the fact her mom probably killed his dad. (Also, most people have multiple pupils, since they have two. Or had, in Slick's case.)
And arg, so much Sollux dialogue, so much irritatingly written out lisp.
I like seeing a more serious side of things and you do a good job with Karkat's worsening anxiety and refusal to admit to it. And the behavior of all the adults makes sense - I can see exactly why they'd think it was best to just keep quiet, even as Karkat starts to flip out. Also, Mr. Egbert stuffing pastries into their mouths at every opportunity is perfect.
Slick slouched back in the seat and pulled his hat down over his face. “Clutch in, car in first, let it out slow. Don’t touch the fucking gas.”
Inside one of the townhouses on the street, Aradia was sitting at the bay window, her nose pressed against the glass. As she watched the car jerk and stall slowly down the street, her nose wrinkled, and her brow furrowed. “Hey, Dad?”
“No, Aradia.”
“But Karkat –”
“Slick is an abhorrent example of parenting.”
<3!
Let's Pretend (SS (PS, HD))
Karkat Vantas and The Three Holds (Karkat (Terezi, Slick))
Very cute and very middle school. I'm amused by Slick's complete refusal to give a fuck about Terezi.
In Which Team Sleuth Is Ambushed By The Devious Midnight Crew (PS (Kanaya, SS, Karkat))
Apparently Kanaya is PS's ward. The PS-crossover-verse continues to gather my ire by being so fucking random.
Mobster Son Bonding (Karkat, Slick, (Terezi, DD, HB, CD))
Slick is the best worst father ever.
The Blizzard and Near-Death of Karkat Vantas (Karkat (Aradia, Vriska, Tavros, Terezi, Gamzee, Sollux, Slick))
Karkat's melodrama is a joy to behold.
I Love You, Sn0wman Chapter 1: Council of Tailor (Snowman (Stitch, Itchy, Die, Slick, Terezi, Karkat))
She hated that the kingdom needed that snarky little Archagent.
And then he’d realized that the Kingdom needed him more than it needed her.
That's probably my least favorite interpretation of things. We never see anything suggesting Jack is good at his job. We see piles of citations on his desk and him doodling on them. We get dialogue saying he doesn't want to do something because it'd be work. We get narration saying he's busy shirking his duties. The one thing we see him even bothering with is trying to lock up John's father, which leads to a growing clusterfuck until he has to go down there himself and ends with him deciding to let the guy go. There's really nothing much in canon for the view that she didn't know what she was doing while he was the one keeping everything going.
The idea of her falling out of hate with him is an interesting one, but this isn't really convincing me. You're just having her say that she's stopped hating him because they're different and he's got a kid, pretty much, but you're not really showing how he's different. Having her flashback fully to particular incidents would probably help, since it'd give a chance to show how their behavior changed better than having Stitch say it has and summarize events.
Got a pretty poor reply to this one.
Fandom has, by and large, been pretty tolerant of the whole reviewing thing. Though I wonder if that's partly just that I've been commenting on some stories where the authors have fallen out of fandom again. We'll have to see how it goes as I get into newer and newer ones.
Karkat (Aradia, Sollux, Terezi, Vriska, Tavros, DD, HB, Slick)
SS (PS, HD)
Karkat (Terezi, Slick)
PS (Kanaya, SS, Karkat)
Karkat, Slick, (Terezi, DD, HB, CD)
Karkat (Aradia, Vriska, Tavros, Terezi, Gamzee, Sollux, Slick)
Snowman (Stitch, Itchy, Die, Slick, Terezi, Karkat)
One of seven.
the multi-pupilled troll
You really should be careful using epithets. The fact she's got pupils doesn't have anything to do with the fact she's taunting Karkat about the fact her mom probably killed his dad. (Also, most people have multiple pupils, since they have two. Or had, in Slick's case.)
And arg, so much Sollux dialogue, so much irritatingly written out lisp.
I like seeing a more serious side of things and you do a good job with Karkat's worsening anxiety and refusal to admit to it. And the behavior of all the adults makes sense - I can see exactly why they'd think it was best to just keep quiet, even as Karkat starts to flip out. Also, Mr. Egbert stuffing pastries into their mouths at every opportunity is perfect.
Slick slouched back in the seat and pulled his hat down over his face. “Clutch in, car in first, let it out slow. Don’t touch the fucking gas.”
Inside one of the townhouses on the street, Aradia was sitting at the bay window, her nose pressed against the glass. As she watched the car jerk and stall slowly down the street, her nose wrinkled, and her brow furrowed. “Hey, Dad?”
“No, Aradia.”
“But Karkat –”
“Slick is an abhorrent example of parenting.”
<3!
Let's Pretend (SS (PS, HD))
Karkat Vantas and The Three Holds (Karkat (Terezi, Slick))
Very cute and very middle school. I'm amused by Slick's complete refusal to give a fuck about Terezi.
In Which Team Sleuth Is Ambushed By The Devious Midnight Crew (PS (Kanaya, SS, Karkat))
Apparently Kanaya is PS's ward. The PS-crossover-verse continues to gather my ire by being so fucking random.
Mobster Son Bonding (Karkat, Slick, (Terezi, DD, HB, CD))
Slick is the best worst father ever.
The Blizzard and Near-Death of Karkat Vantas (Karkat (Aradia, Vriska, Tavros, Terezi, Gamzee, Sollux, Slick))
Karkat's melodrama is a joy to behold.
I Love You, Sn0wman Chapter 1: Council of Tailor (Snowman (Stitch, Itchy, Die, Slick, Terezi, Karkat))
She hated that the kingdom needed that snarky little Archagent.
And then he’d realized that the Kingdom needed him more than it needed her.
That's probably my least favorite interpretation of things. We never see anything suggesting Jack is good at his job. We see piles of citations on his desk and him doodling on them. We get dialogue saying he doesn't want to do something because it'd be work. We get narration saying he's busy shirking his duties. The one thing we see him even bothering with is trying to lock up John's father, which leads to a growing clusterfuck until he has to go down there himself and ends with him deciding to let the guy go. There's really nothing much in canon for the view that she didn't know what she was doing while he was the one keeping everything going.
The idea of her falling out of hate with him is an interesting one, but this isn't really convincing me. You're just having her say that she's stopped hating him because they're different and he's got a kid, pretty much, but you're not really showing how he's different. Having her flashback fully to particular incidents would probably help, since it'd give a chance to show how their behavior changed better than having Stitch say it has and summarize events.
Got a pretty poor reply to this one.
Fandom has, by and large, been pretty tolerant of the whole reviewing thing. Though I wonder if that's partly just that I've been commenting on some stories where the authors have fallen out of fandom again. We'll have to see how it goes as I get into newer and newer ones.
Karkat (Aradia, Sollux, Terezi, Vriska, Tavros, DD, HB, Slick)
SS (PS, HD)
Karkat (Terezi, Slick)
PS (Kanaya, SS, Karkat)
Karkat, Slick, (Terezi, DD, HB, CD)
Karkat (Aradia, Vriska, Tavros, Terezi, Gamzee, Sollux, Slick)
Snowman (Stitch, Itchy, Die, Slick, Terezi, Karkat)
One of seven.
