3 reviews

[farla]

Red, the Blood of Angry Men (Jack (Karkat))

and you spot a structure that you guess might be a house, but it's got a huge fucking hole blasted in its side and some truly fucking nonsensical architecture going on. That architecture is so far off the hook it has probably never even met the hook. It and the hook live on different continents and will never meet in this life or the next. Maybe there was a chance of it and the hook getting to know each other if the top three floors and that silly paintjob didn't exist. Not any more.

You do a wonderful, wonderful job with Jack's voice in all of this.

I like the relationship between him and Karkat as well - it's not overly sentimental, and Jack seems exactly like the sort of person who'd view sex as casual or friendliness instead of true love forever.

Blood and Whiskey (Itchy (Die))

It's really nice to see Die get the better of someone, and there's something particularly satisfying about how Itchy will not get a clue, and keeps pushing, and keeps getting beaten up for it. And as soon as Die gets off him he tries to get started again, and even with a knife he's still planning to wind Die up again sometime later, but this will just lead to more karmicly satisfying beatdowns. Although I suppose it's a win for Itchy as well since he enjoys the whole thing.

There needs to be more scary hypercompetent Die around.

Grievance (John (Karkat, Terezi, Kanaya))

The plot of this seems slapdash. John's god-tier, so yes, he'd be able to put up more of a fight against Bec Noir than a regular player. But we know that he's too strong for Aradia to have any chance of defeating, and even Vriska with the best possible role just barely has a chance to win. I don't think John would manage to curbstomp Noir with just his wind powers or suddenly become immune to being stabbed. It's certainly not how things went with Noir before this.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," he said. "This is it." not "Hi," he said, "this is it." or "Hi," he said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," he said, "is it." If there's no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like "Hi. This - " He looked around. "- is it."

Jack (Karkat)
Itchy (Die)
John (Karkat, Terezi, Kanaya)

Zero of three.