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farlaChapter 11
“Are you looking for the Sapphire of Alternia?” She blurts out.
Problem Sleuth throws his head back onto the seat and slaps his forehead. “Does everybody know?” He asks himself, half laughing. Maybe it’s not so remarkable that Snowman would know what to look for after all.
That doesn't make sense.
WQ thought she could keep it under wraps somewhat by not talking about it, and Snowman likely has the best understanding of WQ. Given they're both made as Queens, they should be relatively competent at this, so they'd be doing better than the rest of the city. Snowman figuring it out quickly despite WQ's attempts makes sense, but everyone else should be ten steps behind. Instead TD just randomly knows all about it? I'd say this makes it sound like she's part of some conspiracy, but even that doesn't work, because in that case she'd know not to mention it because it'd sound suspicious as hell even to a normal person, let alone a detective.
Sleuth, instead of thinking it's funny, should be asking how she found out and where the leak was. Are the Felt mentioning it while they're running around? Or did someone unrelated do so, in which case he should be suspicious of his lawyer friend and the others in the office who might have overheard the conversation with WK.
I would’ve been happy with a cheap diamond ring.” Deferrer grins. “Cheap compared to the Sapphire of Alternia, anyway. I won’t let you skimp out on me, Sleuth.”
“I wouldn’t think of it.” Sleuth says indifferently. Deferrer shoots him a playful glare through the mirror.
Some remarkably one-sided flirting here. And it's not like he doesn't flirt, since he was doing so with the receptionist earlier. It's like he only has interest up until the point they admit they're interested.
Also, they certainly don't have much interaction outside of her driving him everywhere when he doesn't even know basic stuff like when she's normally awake, so they're clearly not close. Why is she joking about getting married?
As soon as Sleuth reaches for the door it opens. Persevering Maillady’s excited smile quickly turns to confusion.
“Who are you?” Maillady asks Deferrer.
Sleuth is covered in blood.
Who are you?” Deferrer returns the question.
SLEUTH IS COVERED IN BLOOD
“I’m his mailwoman.” Maillady says with indignation while pointing at Sleuth.
“I’m his cab driver.” Deferrer says with jealousy.
Neither of you are his girlfriend, so why do you care?
That's all they are. They are people who happen to be doing a job that involves him. Bringing mail or driving someone around doesn't mean you're obsessed with getting in their pants and are doing a special favor because of that, it just means you have a job to do. And if someone did get a crush, then they're both adults who are perfectly capable of acting on it and telling him they're interested. They're also both adults who are perfectly capable of figuring out Sleuth is an adult too. He knew both of them and was apparently stringing them both on, neither of them knew about the other one. So if there's anything here worthy of indignation, it'd be him.
Or in short, women and insane harpies are not synonyms.
And now they're fighting over who knew him longer jesus christ it's like the worst sort of anime and at least in those ones the characters usually have the decency to not be adult women.
“Really?” Sleuth asks.
Deferrer giggles. Maillady grin turns into a crestfallen frown. “Yeah,” She says. “Don’t you remember?” Sleuth shakes his head. “It was in that one camp a couple hundred years ago. You told me war stories.” Sleuth shakes his head again. “You were playing up your wandering broken veteran soldier status to get women who would pity you.”
“Um.” Sleuth raises his brow. “Did it work?”
“No!” Maillady shouts.
“Oh, dammit, I do remember that. You slapped me and asked me what kind of girl I thought you were.”
So he's a self-centered asshole. She remembers him, and all he remembers is "oh yeah, now that you mention I guess there was some bitch who didn't put out when I wanted her to".
And TD also remembers him and he also can't remember her without prompting.
Inexplicably, neither of them at this point pause, look at the situation, and realize they have clearly made a huge error here.
“Whatever.” Sleuth cuts in. “Both of you know me equally well.” Sleuth placates indifferently.
Yeah, I mean, they're upset but who cares about their dumb female feelings? A man is trying to think about important things!
Speaking of adults, the other mature thing is to say you aren't interested, instead of pretending you don't have any idea so they'll keep pining and flirting and doing you favors.
“You have a package for me?” He asks.
“Oh, of course!” Maillady suddenly remembers.
So on the one hand, it's completely absurd that someone would see a man covered in blood being held up by someone else and only notice that the "someone else" was female. On the other, it's completely absurd to think PM would care so much about any of this drama that she'd forget the package she was there to deliver. I'm unable to say which is more OOC.
And now they're fighting more over him, because clearly the asshole who's utterly indifferent toward them and couldn't remember them is such a prime catch. It's hard to imagine how he could be more of a sue at this point.
You ask your arguing... what would you call them? Clients? You haven’t worked any cases for them. Patrons? No, that doesn’t work either. Helpers? That’s not really their job descriptions.
You can’t call them your favorite businesses, because Maillady gets her paycheck from the taxpayer, and you can’t call them your favorite civil servants, because Deferrer is self-employed.
I like how "friend" isn't even an option. They're just the people who do shit for him that makes his life easier.
He asks what’s going on in the room. You say nothing, just some argument over you. Repressor says you’re a real lucky guy to squander the affection of two beautiful women like that by having a steady girlfriend. You tell him you’d feel guilty taking advantage of them like that.
So then, he is with HD. And he says he'd feel guilty taking advantage of them by actually having a relationship with either one. Not even telling them he's in a relationship at all so he can keep stringing them along as his helpers who'll drop everything when he asks is totally different and not taking advantage in the slightest, of course.
Can we get to the next point someone beats Sleuth up? It evidently won't be the people who deserve to, but it'll still be an improvement.
He asks you to pass them on to him then, since the mail one’s just his type and the cab driver ain’t half bad either.
Oh god now you've made AR into a smug misogynist as well.
“You’ll never be with him!” Deferrer shouts.
“And neither will you, but that hasn’t stopped you from throwing yourself at him shamelessly!”
Oh boy, and now we get to my absolute favorite, using women to slut shame each other. Two horrible tropes in one!
“Hey,” Sleuth interjects in the argument. The room settles down.
“Yeah, Sleuth?” They both ask.
Sleuth glances between the two of them. “Keep it down, would ya?”
Can we jump to the timeline where Crowbar killed him.
“That’s right.”
“Did you receive your package? Or did your package get delivered”
“Yes, it did.”
“Thank you for the help, that’s all.”
Has it occurred to him that any of the people might just be lying to throw him off the track? If they murdered the guy, they can still say they didn't and he just delivered something and left.
That leaves Quiet Welltodo.
Really? WQ can't even use a proper pseudonym?
You don’t like sneaky clients. And Wealthy Quantifier’s the sneakiest one you ever had.
Yeah I really find that hard to believe She can hardly be the worst if this is all she's done.
Apparently it’s too much to ask that she tell you straight up what’s going on from the start. That would make things too easy. No, she has to test your reputation as the top problem sleuth in the city while she’s at it, because she’s got money and she wants to make you dance
If not telling him about the necklace was simply a test, then I'm assuming he fucked up pretty badly. She wasn't wearing it when she came, which should have been enough to guess what the important thing was. Then he blunders around a bit while everyone else figures it out without all the help and clues he got, and meanwhile he's running around looking suspicious as hell and getting everyone else's attention. He only finds out the connection to the courier because it dropped into his lap, and it's not even conclusive - it really could just be someone using the same initials. Maybe that's why she's not taking his calls, she's no longer interested in him.
You honestly don’t know why you didn’t see it coming. He dies, she comes in your office the next day. Clear logical connection.
Yes, because every time anyone shows up to employ him, they're involved in the previous case. Logic! Sleuth is dumb as a bag of rocks.
Chapter 12
...they seriously did his laundry for him. Or one of them, but when I try to figure out which would be the bigger doormat in this fic I feel like the answer is both of them.
The hope among the socialites who funded it was that it would be a test run for reseeding the planet on a much larger scale. While a success, it proved prohibitively expensive, with the search for intact seeds that survived the cataclysm and hundreds of years of wasteland conditions on its own costing far too much.
But that doesn't make any sense. They only have to find seeds once, the plants are producing them now.
Wealthy Quantifier is standing in front of him in a white trench coat. A hat with a low brim conceals her face, and in her hand is a cigarette holder. “A man could mistake you for someone else. Albeit she shows more leg, and the black carapace works better for her during the night anyway.” Sleuth says
Well that was an extremely stupid and badly worded comment.
I am not fond of comparisons to my dark counterpart even though by my very existence such comparisons are naturally invited.
And that was an even more badly worded response. What's with the endless qualifiers? It's like you won't let her just say he should fuck off, she has to add "even though obviously you were right to point that out".
“I have been following you since you entered the park, Problem Sleuth. I expected that you would have noticed immediately.”
Is there any reason why she has such a ridiculously high opinion of his talents in every area?
“He noticed me. I waved to him. Perhaps I should have hired him instead of you. I would assume a basic quality desirable in a private detective would be noticing when somebody is being followed.
It's funny because it's true.
“Sleuth!” Pickle Inspector shouts in surprise. “This is no way to treat her! She deserves our utmost respect.”
“Listen, Inspector, you got the short version. But this woman,” Sleuth points. “Put me through the two worst days of hell I’ve had in a very long time. I’ve been shot at, followed, beat up, three times, no less, questioned by the police, the Midnight Crew, and the Felt, and what do I find at the end of it? A dead end.” Sleuth says. “I’m running low on respect for clients who aren’t straight with me from the start, and she’s the worst example I’ve ever had.”
Pickle Inspector’s mouth is wide open in shock. A wry grin is spread across Wealthy Quantifier’s lips. “I deserved that, of course.” She admits.
No, she doesn't. At all. He was attacked for investigating the apartment, which was hardly her fault and something he'd have needed to do either way, questioned by the police because the fucker stole evidence to deliberately fuck over their investigation - still not even an attempt at explaining why he did that, and getting jumped because he was working for her would have happened regardless of what he knew.
You’re right, I don’t smoke.” Wealthy Quantifier says, holding up her cigarette holder. “It’s a trick I learned from my counterpart. It’s for effect. It makes me mysterious if I hold this. Wouldn’t you agree?” She asks. “Although now that you point it out, this is all rather silly.”
THIS IS STUPID
...aaaaaaaand now she's talking about how incredibly impressed she is by his blundering and how he figured out even more than she expected! What the hell was she expecting?
And now she's playing twenty questions for no reason, maybe because you think it'll show off how smart Sleuth is. It just looks dumb.
I have done everything I can for you without explicitly telling you what is happening.”
Sleuth shoves his hands in his pockets. “It’s a lot easier if you tell me that though.”
“But I’m paying you exorbitantly. And I’ve given you a challenging case and the opportunity to use all your skills to their fullest.”
Because clearly, contriving things so he has a challenging case is more important than actually getting that super-important necklace back. Absolutely everything revolves around him, doesn't it?
So let's take a moment to talk about tropes.
If someone doesn't want to tell you something, it's because they don't want you to know it. Here, WQ is telling him things he doesn't need to know and she has reason to want to keep hidden, while refusing to tell him things she wants him to know. This is because the author doesn't give a fuck about why WQ would act like this. She's just a puppet for Sleuth's plot.
If an author was concerned with WQ's reasons, then she'd lie based on those. For example, if she was trying to keep the fact the necklace is super powerful hidden, she might say she wanted it back because there's a rumor about that, and as long as it's bouncing around people will kill each other fighting over it. She might not tell him about some people involved in the case because she's worried if he talks to them he'll find out the truth. She might not tell him things because she's worried he'll talk the next time a gang interrogates him. And so on.
Chapter 13
And whatever the possibility, Wealthy Quantifier must be protecting it so that whatever awful thing that makes it dangerous doesn’t happen.
You know, if the necklace is good for nothing but disaster, she could have just destroyed it. So that actually narrows the possibilities down a lot, it can't just be a piece for the robot to explode the world or whatever. And if it was a limited use thing, she could have used it up to prevent misuse. Etc.
Why didn't AR stall by trying to pin the crime on someone else? If Sleuth allowed to run around and solve the crime, that guy will get released again, while if Sleuth is caught no one's looking for the killer any more and he's stuck in jail.
If Problem Sleuth has information, they’ll be willing to take it, and might even be willing to exchange information for it. It’s not ideal. But it’s the only thing Problem Sleuth can think of.
See, this kind of thing is a much better reason than "I'm just mysterious for no reason! teehee" for WQ to refuse to tell him things.
“I know exactly what they’re looking for.”
So does a random cab driver. The Midnight Crew should have found out ages ago with all the talk of their awesome informant network.
Slick turns on his stool and faces Sleuth. “alright” He says. “you first”
Wow, Sleuth sure does suck at bargaining, doesn't he? He's outnumbered and on their territory. If he refused to go through with his half of the deal, they can beat him to death afterward. But if they refuse, there's not much he can do.
What do you know about who killed the courier?”
Droog stays silent for a moment. “We don’t know anything.”
Yeah, he should've seen that coming.
Chapter 14
So the fact the detectives are working together, which Droog mentioned by chance, isn't just related to the case itself, but it's actually centering on Sleuth, because absolutely everything else does so why not.
Ace Dick is amusing, though.
So, they're looking for some women. Since the only women in this story appear to be the canon ones and/or there to show off how hot and attractive Sleuth is, presumably that's either WQ or Snowman.
“Shut up, you loner.
That was probably supposed to be "loser".
The key thing is also still amusing.
He’s a tall guy, white carapace. Covered up an expensive suit and his face with a giant trench coat. Told me to work for him, here’s a thousand dollars, said to keep quiet.
So, LL?
“Has your group been to Wealthy Quantifier’s house?”
Ringleader starts. “I don’t get it. We get sent there, told to pack up a bunch of valuable stuff, and then we stash it somewhere.”
So she or her husband are the ones behind the robbery?
Huh, and they also killed the courier. If it's WQ, she's actually being pretty clever with the whole wheels within wheels thing, but she probably wouldn't have hired Sleuth in that case. So, her husband? Unless LL is the only one involved and using his connection to them to be able to pull off the robbery easily.
You tell her you need a ride somewhere quick. She says that she’s your girl in a manner suggesting she’s willing to do more than simply take you from two different locations in the city. Actually, you’re surprised. She doesn’t say that suggestively at all. You just kinda figured.
what the fuck is this even
So now he's going to the bank again, presumably to talk to LL, and it doesn't occur to him to bother calling AR saying he's solved that part of the case and get the police off him.
Chapter 15
You are driving your favorite regular to Keynote Bank on some SUPER IMPORTANT CASE he’s working on. Something about THE SAPPHIRE OF ALTERNIA. You figured that much out.
Well there goes any hope I had that her knowing about it was supposed to be important or a sign she had an actual role in the plot beyond being his servant.
that stupid mail hussy
This is nauseating.
“I thought we were friends, Sleuth.” Deferrer complains. “When I make an ass of myself in front of you I thought you’d have the decency to remember.”
I'm not sure why she'd think that, since the same conversation established he only remembered either of them when they'd inconvenienced him in some way.
Stop it right now.” Sleuths says commandingly. “If there’s something you want to get off your mind, you say it, but don’t turn this around on me. I didn’t do anything wrong.
Actually he did, and the fact he's turning this around on her just makes him look like a manipulative bastard.
“I mean, I know you’re with Dame so there’s no reason I should be fighting with somebody else abou-“
Well at least he hasn't been lying about that like he has everything else. But that just makes the rest of it look worse. Why are women compelled to fight over and obsess about him?
Sleuth thinks he hears Deferrer sniffle. He wonders if he handled that right. If he didn’t, well, she’ll get over it. If not now, then later.
Because he gives zero fucks about her and doesn't even consider her a friend, just a helpful tool. Useful things don't inconvenience their owners with stupid girly feelings.
Problem Sleuth: Have realization.
The realization that you think you should be having is that as Keynoter’s right hand man whatever Lawyer did was because Keynoter told him to do it
Well, duh. God, he really sucks at this, doesn't he?
You really want to know why Keynoter stole the Sapphire of Alternia from Quantifier. Keynoter’s a decent, honorable man.
So WQ misleads him, and he just screams about scheming women and how she's the worst person ever. WK lies to him and gets someone killed in the process of stealing from his wife something she claims is actually incredibly dangerous, and Sleuth is shocked because WK is a good man!!!!
“Are you looking for the Sapphire of Alternia?” She blurts out.
Problem Sleuth throws his head back onto the seat and slaps his forehead. “Does everybody know?” He asks himself, half laughing. Maybe it’s not so remarkable that Snowman would know what to look for after all.
That doesn't make sense.
WQ thought she could keep it under wraps somewhat by not talking about it, and Snowman likely has the best understanding of WQ. Given they're both made as Queens, they should be relatively competent at this, so they'd be doing better than the rest of the city. Snowman figuring it out quickly despite WQ's attempts makes sense, but everyone else should be ten steps behind. Instead TD just randomly knows all about it? I'd say this makes it sound like she's part of some conspiracy, but even that doesn't work, because in that case she'd know not to mention it because it'd sound suspicious as hell even to a normal person, let alone a detective.
Sleuth, instead of thinking it's funny, should be asking how she found out and where the leak was. Are the Felt mentioning it while they're running around? Or did someone unrelated do so, in which case he should be suspicious of his lawyer friend and the others in the office who might have overheard the conversation with WK.
I would’ve been happy with a cheap diamond ring.” Deferrer grins. “Cheap compared to the Sapphire of Alternia, anyway. I won’t let you skimp out on me, Sleuth.”
“I wouldn’t think of it.” Sleuth says indifferently. Deferrer shoots him a playful glare through the mirror.
Some remarkably one-sided flirting here. And it's not like he doesn't flirt, since he was doing so with the receptionist earlier. It's like he only has interest up until the point they admit they're interested.
Also, they certainly don't have much interaction outside of her driving him everywhere when he doesn't even know basic stuff like when she's normally awake, so they're clearly not close. Why is she joking about getting married?
As soon as Sleuth reaches for the door it opens. Persevering Maillady’s excited smile quickly turns to confusion.
“Who are you?” Maillady asks Deferrer.
Sleuth is covered in blood.
Who are you?” Deferrer returns the question.
SLEUTH IS COVERED IN BLOOD
“I’m his mailwoman.” Maillady says with indignation while pointing at Sleuth.
“I’m his cab driver.” Deferrer says with jealousy.
Neither of you are his girlfriend, so why do you care?
That's all they are. They are people who happen to be doing a job that involves him. Bringing mail or driving someone around doesn't mean you're obsessed with getting in their pants and are doing a special favor because of that, it just means you have a job to do. And if someone did get a crush, then they're both adults who are perfectly capable of acting on it and telling him they're interested. They're also both adults who are perfectly capable of figuring out Sleuth is an adult too. He knew both of them and was apparently stringing them both on, neither of them knew about the other one. So if there's anything here worthy of indignation, it'd be him.
Or in short, women and insane harpies are not synonyms.
And now they're fighting over who knew him longer jesus christ it's like the worst sort of anime and at least in those ones the characters usually have the decency to not be adult women.
“Really?” Sleuth asks.
Deferrer giggles. Maillady grin turns into a crestfallen frown. “Yeah,” She says. “Don’t you remember?” Sleuth shakes his head. “It was in that one camp a couple hundred years ago. You told me war stories.” Sleuth shakes his head again. “You were playing up your wandering broken veteran soldier status to get women who would pity you.”
“Um.” Sleuth raises his brow. “Did it work?”
“No!” Maillady shouts.
“Oh, dammit, I do remember that. You slapped me and asked me what kind of girl I thought you were.”
So he's a self-centered asshole. She remembers him, and all he remembers is "oh yeah, now that you mention I guess there was some bitch who didn't put out when I wanted her to".
And TD also remembers him and he also can't remember her without prompting.
Inexplicably, neither of them at this point pause, look at the situation, and realize they have clearly made a huge error here.
“Whatever.” Sleuth cuts in. “Both of you know me equally well.” Sleuth placates indifferently.
Yeah, I mean, they're upset but who cares about their dumb female feelings? A man is trying to think about important things!
Speaking of adults, the other mature thing is to say you aren't interested, instead of pretending you don't have any idea so they'll keep pining and flirting and doing you favors.
“You have a package for me?” He asks.
“Oh, of course!” Maillady suddenly remembers.
So on the one hand, it's completely absurd that someone would see a man covered in blood being held up by someone else and only notice that the "someone else" was female. On the other, it's completely absurd to think PM would care so much about any of this drama that she'd forget the package she was there to deliver. I'm unable to say which is more OOC.
And now they're fighting more over him, because clearly the asshole who's utterly indifferent toward them and couldn't remember them is such a prime catch. It's hard to imagine how he could be more of a sue at this point.
You ask your arguing... what would you call them? Clients? You haven’t worked any cases for them. Patrons? No, that doesn’t work either. Helpers? That’s not really their job descriptions.
You can’t call them your favorite businesses, because Maillady gets her paycheck from the taxpayer, and you can’t call them your favorite civil servants, because Deferrer is self-employed.
I like how "friend" isn't even an option. They're just the people who do shit for him that makes his life easier.
He asks what’s going on in the room. You say nothing, just some argument over you. Repressor says you’re a real lucky guy to squander the affection of two beautiful women like that by having a steady girlfriend. You tell him you’d feel guilty taking advantage of them like that.
So then, he is with HD. And he says he'd feel guilty taking advantage of them by actually having a relationship with either one. Not even telling them he's in a relationship at all so he can keep stringing them along as his helpers who'll drop everything when he asks is totally different and not taking advantage in the slightest, of course.
Can we get to the next point someone beats Sleuth up? It evidently won't be the people who deserve to, but it'll still be an improvement.
He asks you to pass them on to him then, since the mail one’s just his type and the cab driver ain’t half bad either.
Oh god now you've made AR into a smug misogynist as well.
“You’ll never be with him!” Deferrer shouts.
“And neither will you, but that hasn’t stopped you from throwing yourself at him shamelessly!”
Oh boy, and now we get to my absolute favorite, using women to slut shame each other. Two horrible tropes in one!
“Hey,” Sleuth interjects in the argument. The room settles down.
“Yeah, Sleuth?” They both ask.
Sleuth glances between the two of them. “Keep it down, would ya?”
Can we jump to the timeline where Crowbar killed him.
“That’s right.”
“Did you receive your package? Or did your package get delivered”
“Yes, it did.”
“Thank you for the help, that’s all.”
Has it occurred to him that any of the people might just be lying to throw him off the track? If they murdered the guy, they can still say they didn't and he just delivered something and left.
That leaves Quiet Welltodo.
Really? WQ can't even use a proper pseudonym?
You don’t like sneaky clients. And Wealthy Quantifier’s the sneakiest one you ever had.
Yeah I really find that hard to believe She can hardly be the worst if this is all she's done.
Apparently it’s too much to ask that she tell you straight up what’s going on from the start. That would make things too easy. No, she has to test your reputation as the top problem sleuth in the city while she’s at it, because she’s got money and she wants to make you dance
If not telling him about the necklace was simply a test, then I'm assuming he fucked up pretty badly. She wasn't wearing it when she came, which should have been enough to guess what the important thing was. Then he blunders around a bit while everyone else figures it out without all the help and clues he got, and meanwhile he's running around looking suspicious as hell and getting everyone else's attention. He only finds out the connection to the courier because it dropped into his lap, and it's not even conclusive - it really could just be someone using the same initials. Maybe that's why she's not taking his calls, she's no longer interested in him.
You honestly don’t know why you didn’t see it coming. He dies, she comes in your office the next day. Clear logical connection.
Yes, because every time anyone shows up to employ him, they're involved in the previous case. Logic! Sleuth is dumb as a bag of rocks.
Chapter 12
...they seriously did his laundry for him. Or one of them, but when I try to figure out which would be the bigger doormat in this fic I feel like the answer is both of them.
The hope among the socialites who funded it was that it would be a test run for reseeding the planet on a much larger scale. While a success, it proved prohibitively expensive, with the search for intact seeds that survived the cataclysm and hundreds of years of wasteland conditions on its own costing far too much.
But that doesn't make any sense. They only have to find seeds once, the plants are producing them now.
Wealthy Quantifier is standing in front of him in a white trench coat. A hat with a low brim conceals her face, and in her hand is a cigarette holder. “A man could mistake you for someone else. Albeit she shows more leg, and the black carapace works better for her during the night anyway.” Sleuth says
Well that was an extremely stupid and badly worded comment.
I am not fond of comparisons to my dark counterpart even though by my very existence such comparisons are naturally invited.
And that was an even more badly worded response. What's with the endless qualifiers? It's like you won't let her just say he should fuck off, she has to add "even though obviously you were right to point that out".
“I have been following you since you entered the park, Problem Sleuth. I expected that you would have noticed immediately.”
Is there any reason why she has such a ridiculously high opinion of his talents in every area?
“He noticed me. I waved to him. Perhaps I should have hired him instead of you. I would assume a basic quality desirable in a private detective would be noticing when somebody is being followed.
It's funny because it's true.
“Sleuth!” Pickle Inspector shouts in surprise. “This is no way to treat her! She deserves our utmost respect.”
“Listen, Inspector, you got the short version. But this woman,” Sleuth points. “Put me through the two worst days of hell I’ve had in a very long time. I’ve been shot at, followed, beat up, three times, no less, questioned by the police, the Midnight Crew, and the Felt, and what do I find at the end of it? A dead end.” Sleuth says. “I’m running low on respect for clients who aren’t straight with me from the start, and she’s the worst example I’ve ever had.”
Pickle Inspector’s mouth is wide open in shock. A wry grin is spread across Wealthy Quantifier’s lips. “I deserved that, of course.” She admits.
No, she doesn't. At all. He was attacked for investigating the apartment, which was hardly her fault and something he'd have needed to do either way, questioned by the police because the fucker stole evidence to deliberately fuck over their investigation - still not even an attempt at explaining why he did that, and getting jumped because he was working for her would have happened regardless of what he knew.
You’re right, I don’t smoke.” Wealthy Quantifier says, holding up her cigarette holder. “It’s a trick I learned from my counterpart. It’s for effect. It makes me mysterious if I hold this. Wouldn’t you agree?” She asks. “Although now that you point it out, this is all rather silly.”
THIS IS STUPID
...aaaaaaaand now she's talking about how incredibly impressed she is by his blundering and how he figured out even more than she expected! What the hell was she expecting?
And now she's playing twenty questions for no reason, maybe because you think it'll show off how smart Sleuth is. It just looks dumb.
I have done everything I can for you without explicitly telling you what is happening.”
Sleuth shoves his hands in his pockets. “It’s a lot easier if you tell me that though.”
“But I’m paying you exorbitantly. And I’ve given you a challenging case and the opportunity to use all your skills to their fullest.”
Because clearly, contriving things so he has a challenging case is more important than actually getting that super-important necklace back. Absolutely everything revolves around him, doesn't it?
So let's take a moment to talk about tropes.
If someone doesn't want to tell you something, it's because they don't want you to know it. Here, WQ is telling him things he doesn't need to know and she has reason to want to keep hidden, while refusing to tell him things she wants him to know. This is because the author doesn't give a fuck about why WQ would act like this. She's just a puppet for Sleuth's plot.
If an author was concerned with WQ's reasons, then she'd lie based on those. For example, if she was trying to keep the fact the necklace is super powerful hidden, she might say she wanted it back because there's a rumor about that, and as long as it's bouncing around people will kill each other fighting over it. She might not tell him about some people involved in the case because she's worried if he talks to them he'll find out the truth. She might not tell him things because she's worried he'll talk the next time a gang interrogates him. And so on.
Chapter 13
And whatever the possibility, Wealthy Quantifier must be protecting it so that whatever awful thing that makes it dangerous doesn’t happen.
You know, if the necklace is good for nothing but disaster, she could have just destroyed it. So that actually narrows the possibilities down a lot, it can't just be a piece for the robot to explode the world or whatever. And if it was a limited use thing, she could have used it up to prevent misuse. Etc.
Why didn't AR stall by trying to pin the crime on someone else? If Sleuth allowed to run around and solve the crime, that guy will get released again, while if Sleuth is caught no one's looking for the killer any more and he's stuck in jail.
If Problem Sleuth has information, they’ll be willing to take it, and might even be willing to exchange information for it. It’s not ideal. But it’s the only thing Problem Sleuth can think of.
See, this kind of thing is a much better reason than "I'm just mysterious for no reason! teehee" for WQ to refuse to tell him things.
“I know exactly what they’re looking for.”
So does a random cab driver. The Midnight Crew should have found out ages ago with all the talk of their awesome informant network.
Slick turns on his stool and faces Sleuth. “alright” He says. “you first”
Wow, Sleuth sure does suck at bargaining, doesn't he? He's outnumbered and on their territory. If he refused to go through with his half of the deal, they can beat him to death afterward. But if they refuse, there's not much he can do.
What do you know about who killed the courier?”
Droog stays silent for a moment. “We don’t know anything.”
Yeah, he should've seen that coming.
Chapter 14
So the fact the detectives are working together, which Droog mentioned by chance, isn't just related to the case itself, but it's actually centering on Sleuth, because absolutely everything else does so why not.
Ace Dick is amusing, though.
So, they're looking for some women. Since the only women in this story appear to be the canon ones and/or there to show off how hot and attractive Sleuth is, presumably that's either WQ or Snowman.
“Shut up, you loner.
That was probably supposed to be "loser".
The key thing is also still amusing.
He’s a tall guy, white carapace. Covered up an expensive suit and his face with a giant trench coat. Told me to work for him, here’s a thousand dollars, said to keep quiet.
So, LL?
“Has your group been to Wealthy Quantifier’s house?”
Ringleader starts. “I don’t get it. We get sent there, told to pack up a bunch of valuable stuff, and then we stash it somewhere.”
So she or her husband are the ones behind the robbery?
Huh, and they also killed the courier. If it's WQ, she's actually being pretty clever with the whole wheels within wheels thing, but she probably wouldn't have hired Sleuth in that case. So, her husband? Unless LL is the only one involved and using his connection to them to be able to pull off the robbery easily.
You tell her you need a ride somewhere quick. She says that she’s your girl in a manner suggesting she’s willing to do more than simply take you from two different locations in the city. Actually, you’re surprised. She doesn’t say that suggestively at all. You just kinda figured.
what the fuck is this even
So now he's going to the bank again, presumably to talk to LL, and it doesn't occur to him to bother calling AR saying he's solved that part of the case and get the police off him.
Chapter 15
You are driving your favorite regular to Keynote Bank on some SUPER IMPORTANT CASE he’s working on. Something about THE SAPPHIRE OF ALTERNIA. You figured that much out.
Well there goes any hope I had that her knowing about it was supposed to be important or a sign she had an actual role in the plot beyond being his servant.
that stupid mail hussy
This is nauseating.
“I thought we were friends, Sleuth.” Deferrer complains. “When I make an ass of myself in front of you I thought you’d have the decency to remember.”
I'm not sure why she'd think that, since the same conversation established he only remembered either of them when they'd inconvenienced him in some way.
Stop it right now.” Sleuths says commandingly. “If there’s something you want to get off your mind, you say it, but don’t turn this around on me. I didn’t do anything wrong.
Actually he did, and the fact he's turning this around on her just makes him look like a manipulative bastard.
“I mean, I know you’re with Dame so there’s no reason I should be fighting with somebody else abou-“
Well at least he hasn't been lying about that like he has everything else. But that just makes the rest of it look worse. Why are women compelled to fight over and obsess about him?
Sleuth thinks he hears Deferrer sniffle. He wonders if he handled that right. If he didn’t, well, she’ll get over it. If not now, then later.
Because he gives zero fucks about her and doesn't even consider her a friend, just a helpful tool. Useful things don't inconvenience their owners with stupid girly feelings.
Problem Sleuth: Have realization.
The realization that you think you should be having is that as Keynoter’s right hand man whatever Lawyer did was because Keynoter told him to do it
Well, duh. God, he really sucks at this, doesn't he?
You really want to know why Keynoter stole the Sapphire of Alternia from Quantifier. Keynoter’s a decent, honorable man.
So WQ misleads him, and he just screams about scheming women and how she's the worst person ever. WK lies to him and gets someone killed in the process of stealing from his wife something she claims is actually incredibly dangerous, and Sleuth is shocked because WK is a good man!!!!
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Date: 2011-10-30 12:15 am (UTC)You sure finished early today!
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Date: 2011-10-30 07:29 pm (UTC)And yes, I was tired so I figured I'd get things done early.