Posted Ice's story. Now we'll see. I still feel something's badly off, but I can't figure out what, so not much I can do. By next week I'll probably know what the problem is and be filled with shame I wrote so badly, but until then, yay, I posted!
Current Mood:accomplished
Current Music:cheery if unrecognizable music on the radio
I'm glad to see Ice's story finally up on fanfiction. You protrayed her character pretty well- I liked her basic intelligence- despite the fact she doesn't really know any specifics. I'm looking forward to see her develop. The drunken single father appears in many fanfiction, but at least here he wasn't (as he nearly always is) protrayed as the cause for Ice's lack of feeling.
Only problem I can see is that when you describe her thoughts, its a bit confusing. Perhaps also your don't like it becuase Ice isn't as intelligent as you have her imagined in your mind>?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2004-07-02 03:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:And so the winter begins to extend
Date: 2004-07-02 04:28 pm (UTC)Only problem I can see is that when you describe her thoughts, its a bit confusing. Perhaps also your don't like it becuase Ice isn't as intelligent as you have her imagined in your mind>?
Re: And so the winter begins to extend
From: