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farlaSo a little while back I got a new review for Reality.
This wasn't written particularly well. I think you could improve on your basic literary techniques. Oh yes, the spelling and grammar were almost perfect and the sentences were nicely structured but there was no flair, no compassion...no interest. It was very dry and lifeless.
Also this is a highly unoriginal idea. Of course, fanfiction isn't exaclty original but this idea is a very cliched, overdone genre. Perhaps your idea when writing it was to write a reality fic in the correct way, but firstly you seem to be failing and secondly, like I said before it's not very impressive and doesn't stand out from the rest of the dismal Just In page.
Now, it's probably just me being hypocritical of course, but I found the review obnoxious, condescending and useless. However, concrit is concrit (or, in this case, the possibility of concrit) and I've gotten so inured to internet rudeness that it's not really an issue. I pounce on the slim possibility that this person might be able to give good advice and use the 'review reply' feature to contact them, explaining the story is intentionally written to be somewhat distanced, that they need to be more specific about what I'm doing wrong for me to fix it, that while, yes, it's been done before, it hasn't been done well so I feel there's still room for another story, and point out that given the relative quality levels, I can't possibly be failing to 'write a pokemon-becomes-real story that's better than the average'.
But, I say, I do appreciate any concrit they might give, and write out my email address explaining I'd prefer to be contacted through that.
I get a PM from them.
"But you may be right that it's too
distanced, or it lacks flair to interest readers. Any suggestions on fixing
that?"
I think one of the reasons you seem distanced is perhaps there are certain plot points you
need to make in your story that you're not really interested in making and so you rush
them. I think in such places you need to tweak them or find inspiration that will give you
the passion needed to make them interesting. As Philip Pullman once said, "Don't
write something that will please your readers, write something that pleases you."
Nine out of ten times your readers will probably enjoy something that you've enjoyed
writing much more.
"If it's been done a dozen times,
but never well, I think it's still fair game to write about."
I don't think that's a very good motive for writing a story because there's a risk that if
you're only writing to portray a particular idea 'well' you're eventually going to get
bored of writing it. And unless you really feel for the writing you probably shouldn't be
writing it in the first place, because you're not achieving your true potential.
"You're reviewing chapter one. It doesn't even become a
pokemon-becomes-real story until chapter two."
I had read all four chapters, I simply referred back to chapter one to check if you had
indeed asked people to submit characters for the story. I think the reason you're failing,
is that you seem distanced throughout many parts of the story. The middle part of chapter
three for instance and the ending of chapter four felt a little out of sync. You need more
spark.
"As to impressive, not to be
egotistical, but have you *seen* the other pokemon-becomes-real stories? I can
rec you some if you'd like to compare. I'm not saying that this means my story
is automatically good, but...really, have you seen the other stories?"
Your approach is totally wrong. Yes I have read other pokemon-becomes-real stories (I
don't want to particularly share my opinions on them with you) but that gives you no
excuse to use that line as defence for your own story. I don't care how appalling they are
and neither should you. Focus on making your own story better. Your only competition is
yourself. You can't flap a hand and call your story decent just because it's better than
the others in fanfiction becuase that's hardly a standard. Say your story is good because
it's better and more than you expected from yourself.
I hope for your sake this message will help improve your writing.
...so they pretty much ignored what I said or misresponded to what I was saying, even when they were actually quoting me. And they only got more obnoxious and condescending. And all STILL without giving me anything useful!
My patience is not infinite.
Okay, see, you're still being really vague, and the more you talk, the less I believe you
have a clue what you're saying.
"I think one of the reasons you seem distanced is perhaps there are certain plot
points you need to make in your story that you're not really interested in making and so
you rush them. I think in such places you need to tweak them or find inspiration that will
give you the passion needed to make them interesting. As Philip Pullman once said,
"Don't write something that will please your readers, write something that pleases
you." Nine out of ten times your readers will probably enjoy something that you've
enjoyed writing much more. "
Um, no.
I don't _seem_ distanced, I am. As I said, I know it's written in that style and it's a
deliberate choice for the sake of the story. There are no 'certain plot points I don't
want', the story is absurdly slow placed so I don't see where rushing enters in, and if I
was writing to please my readers, I wouldn't be intending to slaughter their submitted
characters like so many emo sheep.
Less attempts at moronic psychoanalysis, more specific suggestion.
""If it's been done a dozen times, but never well, I think it's still fair game
to write about."
I don't think that's a very good motive for writing a story because there's a risk that if
you're only writing to portray a particular idea 'well' you're eventually going to get
bored of writing it. And unless you really feel for the writing you probably shouldn't be
writing it in the first place, because you're not achieving your true potential"
Okay, see, I didn't say I WAS writing it for that reason. I was RESPONDING to YOU telling
ME that I SHOULDN'T be writing BECAUSE it was unoriginal. Hopefully the caps will help get
the concept across this time.
"I think the reason you're failing, is that you seem distanced throughout many parts
of the story. The middle part of chapter three for instance and the ending of chapter four
felt a little out of sync. You need more spark."
Getting closer to some actual suggestions here. Now, could you specifically say what you
mean and say how to fix it? It's odd, I know, but saying 'add spark!' is not the most
helpful thing imaginable.
"Your approach is totally wrong. Yes I have read other pokemon-becomes-real stories
(I don't want to particularly share my opinions on them with you) but that gives you no
excuse to use that line as defence for your own story. I don't care how appalling they are
and neither should you. Focus on making your own story better. Your only competition is
yourself. You can't flap a hand and call your story decent just because it's better than
the others in fanfiction becuase that's hardly a standard. Say your story is good because
it's better and more than you expected from yourself."
...you aren't very bright, are you? I'll recap. You told me that my story was failing the
goal (to show that pokemon-becomes-real stories could be written better). I pointed out
that no, I wasn't failing because it was better than existing pokemon-becomes-real
stories. I'm not setting that as a baseline, I'm pointing out it's idiotic to say I could
possibly fail in that respect.
...
"I hope for your sake this message will help improve your writing."
Look, I'm sure you sincerely believe you're somehow being helpful by telling me my story
is completely wrong and failing because it lacks spark and I'm not motivated, as well as
forgetting what you said your own review.
But you know, it isn't. In fact, it's pretty much pointless, and the fact you clearly
don't know what you're doing is rapidly eroding my belief you might have any worthwhile
advice.
Or in language you'll understand:
Your review and PM weren't written particularly well. I think you could improve your basic
reviewing ability. I guess it's readable, but there was no intelligence, no experience. It
was very dull and useless. Also this is a pretty vague complaint. Of course reviews can be
like that, but this is a very vague, general review. Perhaps your idea when writing it was
to give helpful concrit, but firstly you seem to be failing, and secondly, like I said
before it's not impressive and doesn't stand out from any of the other failed attempts at
concrit without any understanding of what the hell you're saying.
They respond in the most reasonable, helpful and non-passive aggressive manner possible, of course:
Look if you don't want my help, just say.
If you can't handle criticsm, just say.
Don't insult your reviewers just because you can't take a taste of your own medicine. I
was being vague because I didn't want to make assumptions and come across rude but now I
see that was the wrong approach. I apologize that I wasn't bright and didn't have a clue
of what I was saying and whatever else you said I was.
And please, don't reply to this email. Just drop it.
Right. You bother me, ignore every attempt at explaining I make, are insulting at every turn, then, then say 'You're a stupidhead argument is over!!!!'...sure I'll just politely leave you alone now.
Or not.
Um, no.
I have been asking you repeatedly for any useful advice you have. "You are failing at
writing your story because you are" is not help. I've even explained to you exactly
what useful advice is - namely, pointing to something specific (as opposed to 'the middle
of that chapter') and explaining how to fix it (as opposed to 'you're doing it all
wrong'). I'm doing this because I sincerely like criticism, and so where there is any
chance of getting it, I follow up on it. That would be why I have wasted my time
explaining to you that what you're saying is not useful, and explaining what would be
useful, despite the fact all signs pointed to you being an idiot who was trying to sound
important. I'm annoyed at you because you have failed to give even marginally useful
concrit. It is a great disappointment.
"I was being vague because I didn't want to make assumptions and come across rude but
now I see that was the wrong approach. "
Hahahaha NO. Vague means 'general'. As in 'You failed to write a good story' is vague
because it does not explain why or how. Similarly, if I had replied with just 'And you
failed to write a good review', however true this is, it would have been vague and
therefore not helpful.
Assumption refers to 'coming to a conclusion without adequate evidence'. In this case,
also 'coming to a conclusion in contradiction of obvious evidence'. Assumptions are 'So
anyway, ignoring the fact you expressly told me you meant it to be distanced and how this
is actually an important part of the plot, I'm going to assume that it's really because
you don't want to be writing the story and are catering to your readers.'
Your being uselessly vague did not in any way impede your ability to ignore what I told
you and make up ridiculous assumptions. This is because there is no connection between the
two things.
Being *rude*, in turn, is saying 'So anyway, you failed at writing. Write it according to
my arbitrary preferences that I won't explain. I hope for your sake this message will help
you improve your writing.' Again, there is no connection to being rude and either being
vague or making assumptions.
Being specific is saying 'This passage where Alison talks about the horse is confusing'.
Or 'I don't like the way Alison seems so distanced from her surroundings at this point, it
makes it hard to understand what's happening'. Or 'Alison is hard to relate to
because...'
Hopefully you'll be able to handle my concrit on your criticizing ability so you won't
disappoint other reviewees with your failure to say anything useful. (And don't whine
because you can't take a taste of your own medicine.) I hope for your sake that this
message will help you improve, because god knows your reading comprehension, vocabulary,
and understanding of the basic concepts are all lacking.
(Oops, was that rude? How about "because god knows that in many fundamental, basic
areas you're lacking". There, now it's vague and therefore apparently no longer
rude.)
More on the saga as (or if) it continues.
Meanwhile I should probably work on Ch5 of Reality.
This wasn't written particularly well. I think you could improve on your basic literary techniques. Oh yes, the spelling and grammar were almost perfect and the sentences were nicely structured but there was no flair, no compassion...no interest. It was very dry and lifeless.
Also this is a highly unoriginal idea. Of course, fanfiction isn't exaclty original but this idea is a very cliched, overdone genre. Perhaps your idea when writing it was to write a reality fic in the correct way, but firstly you seem to be failing and secondly, like I said before it's not very impressive and doesn't stand out from the rest of the dismal Just In page.
Now, it's probably just me being hypocritical of course, but I found the review obnoxious, condescending and useless. However, concrit is concrit (or, in this case, the possibility of concrit) and I've gotten so inured to internet rudeness that it's not really an issue. I pounce on the slim possibility that this person might be able to give good advice and use the 'review reply' feature to contact them, explaining the story is intentionally written to be somewhat distanced, that they need to be more specific about what I'm doing wrong for me to fix it, that while, yes, it's been done before, it hasn't been done well so I feel there's still room for another story, and point out that given the relative quality levels, I can't possibly be failing to 'write a pokemon-becomes-real story that's better than the average'.
But, I say, I do appreciate any concrit they might give, and write out my email address explaining I'd prefer to be contacted through that.
I get a PM from them.
"But you may be right that it's too
distanced, or it lacks flair to interest readers. Any suggestions on fixing
that?"
I think one of the reasons you seem distanced is perhaps there are certain plot points you
need to make in your story that you're not really interested in making and so you rush
them. I think in such places you need to tweak them or find inspiration that will give you
the passion needed to make them interesting. As Philip Pullman once said, "Don't
write something that will please your readers, write something that pleases you."
Nine out of ten times your readers will probably enjoy something that you've enjoyed
writing much more.
"If it's been done a dozen times,
but never well, I think it's still fair game to write about."
I don't think that's a very good motive for writing a story because there's a risk that if
you're only writing to portray a particular idea 'well' you're eventually going to get
bored of writing it. And unless you really feel for the writing you probably shouldn't be
writing it in the first place, because you're not achieving your true potential.
"You're reviewing chapter one. It doesn't even become a
pokemon-becomes-real story until chapter two."
I had read all four chapters, I simply referred back to chapter one to check if you had
indeed asked people to submit characters for the story. I think the reason you're failing,
is that you seem distanced throughout many parts of the story. The middle part of chapter
three for instance and the ending of chapter four felt a little out of sync. You need more
spark.
"As to impressive, not to be
egotistical, but have you *seen* the other pokemon-becomes-real stories? I can
rec you some if you'd like to compare. I'm not saying that this means my story
is automatically good, but...really, have you seen the other stories?"
Your approach is totally wrong. Yes I have read other pokemon-becomes-real stories (I
don't want to particularly share my opinions on them with you) but that gives you no
excuse to use that line as defence for your own story. I don't care how appalling they are
and neither should you. Focus on making your own story better. Your only competition is
yourself. You can't flap a hand and call your story decent just because it's better than
the others in fanfiction becuase that's hardly a standard. Say your story is good because
it's better and more than you expected from yourself.
I hope for your sake this message will help improve your writing.
...so they pretty much ignored what I said or misresponded to what I was saying, even when they were actually quoting me. And they only got more obnoxious and condescending. And all STILL without giving me anything useful!
My patience is not infinite.
Okay, see, you're still being really vague, and the more you talk, the less I believe you
have a clue what you're saying.
"I think one of the reasons you seem distanced is perhaps there are certain plot
points you need to make in your story that you're not really interested in making and so
you rush them. I think in such places you need to tweak them or find inspiration that will
give you the passion needed to make them interesting. As Philip Pullman once said,
"Don't write something that will please your readers, write something that pleases
you." Nine out of ten times your readers will probably enjoy something that you've
enjoyed writing much more. "
Um, no.
I don't _seem_ distanced, I am. As I said, I know it's written in that style and it's a
deliberate choice for the sake of the story. There are no 'certain plot points I don't
want', the story is absurdly slow placed so I don't see where rushing enters in, and if I
was writing to please my readers, I wouldn't be intending to slaughter their submitted
characters like so many emo sheep.
Less attempts at moronic psychoanalysis, more specific suggestion.
""If it's been done a dozen times, but never well, I think it's still fair game
to write about."
I don't think that's a very good motive for writing a story because there's a risk that if
you're only writing to portray a particular idea 'well' you're eventually going to get
bored of writing it. And unless you really feel for the writing you probably shouldn't be
writing it in the first place, because you're not achieving your true potential"
Okay, see, I didn't say I WAS writing it for that reason. I was RESPONDING to YOU telling
ME that I SHOULDN'T be writing BECAUSE it was unoriginal. Hopefully the caps will help get
the concept across this time.
"I think the reason you're failing, is that you seem distanced throughout many parts
of the story. The middle part of chapter three for instance and the ending of chapter four
felt a little out of sync. You need more spark."
Getting closer to some actual suggestions here. Now, could you specifically say what you
mean and say how to fix it? It's odd, I know, but saying 'add spark!' is not the most
helpful thing imaginable.
"Your approach is totally wrong. Yes I have read other pokemon-becomes-real stories
(I don't want to particularly share my opinions on them with you) but that gives you no
excuse to use that line as defence for your own story. I don't care how appalling they are
and neither should you. Focus on making your own story better. Your only competition is
yourself. You can't flap a hand and call your story decent just because it's better than
the others in fanfiction becuase that's hardly a standard. Say your story is good because
it's better and more than you expected from yourself."
...you aren't very bright, are you? I'll recap. You told me that my story was failing the
goal (to show that pokemon-becomes-real stories could be written better). I pointed out
that no, I wasn't failing because it was better than existing pokemon-becomes-real
stories. I'm not setting that as a baseline, I'm pointing out it's idiotic to say I could
possibly fail in that respect.
...
"I hope for your sake this message will help improve your writing."
Look, I'm sure you sincerely believe you're somehow being helpful by telling me my story
is completely wrong and failing because it lacks spark and I'm not motivated, as well as
forgetting what you said your own review.
But you know, it isn't. In fact, it's pretty much pointless, and the fact you clearly
don't know what you're doing is rapidly eroding my belief you might have any worthwhile
advice.
Or in language you'll understand:
Your review and PM weren't written particularly well. I think you could improve your basic
reviewing ability. I guess it's readable, but there was no intelligence, no experience. It
was very dull and useless. Also this is a pretty vague complaint. Of course reviews can be
like that, but this is a very vague, general review. Perhaps your idea when writing it was
to give helpful concrit, but firstly you seem to be failing, and secondly, like I said
before it's not impressive and doesn't stand out from any of the other failed attempts at
concrit without any understanding of what the hell you're saying.
They respond in the most reasonable, helpful and non-passive aggressive manner possible, of course:
Look if you don't want my help, just say.
If you can't handle criticsm, just say.
Don't insult your reviewers just because you can't take a taste of your own medicine. I
was being vague because I didn't want to make assumptions and come across rude but now I
see that was the wrong approach. I apologize that I wasn't bright and didn't have a clue
of what I was saying and whatever else you said I was.
And please, don't reply to this email. Just drop it.
Right. You bother me, ignore every attempt at explaining I make, are insulting at every turn, then, then say 'You're a stupidhead argument is over!!!!'...sure I'll just politely leave you alone now.
Or not.
Um, no.
I have been asking you repeatedly for any useful advice you have. "You are failing at
writing your story because you are" is not help. I've even explained to you exactly
what useful advice is - namely, pointing to something specific (as opposed to 'the middle
of that chapter') and explaining how to fix it (as opposed to 'you're doing it all
wrong'). I'm doing this because I sincerely like criticism, and so where there is any
chance of getting it, I follow up on it. That would be why I have wasted my time
explaining to you that what you're saying is not useful, and explaining what would be
useful, despite the fact all signs pointed to you being an idiot who was trying to sound
important. I'm annoyed at you because you have failed to give even marginally useful
concrit. It is a great disappointment.
"I was being vague because I didn't want to make assumptions and come across rude but
now I see that was the wrong approach. "
Hahahaha NO. Vague means 'general'. As in 'You failed to write a good story' is vague
because it does not explain why or how. Similarly, if I had replied with just 'And you
failed to write a good review', however true this is, it would have been vague and
therefore not helpful.
Assumption refers to 'coming to a conclusion without adequate evidence'. In this case,
also 'coming to a conclusion in contradiction of obvious evidence'. Assumptions are 'So
anyway, ignoring the fact you expressly told me you meant it to be distanced and how this
is actually an important part of the plot, I'm going to assume that it's really because
you don't want to be writing the story and are catering to your readers.'
Your being uselessly vague did not in any way impede your ability to ignore what I told
you and make up ridiculous assumptions. This is because there is no connection between the
two things.
Being *rude*, in turn, is saying 'So anyway, you failed at writing. Write it according to
my arbitrary preferences that I won't explain. I hope for your sake this message will help
you improve your writing.' Again, there is no connection to being rude and either being
vague or making assumptions.
Being specific is saying 'This passage where Alison talks about the horse is confusing'.
Or 'I don't like the way Alison seems so distanced from her surroundings at this point, it
makes it hard to understand what's happening'. Or 'Alison is hard to relate to
because...'
Hopefully you'll be able to handle my concrit on your criticizing ability so you won't
disappoint other reviewees with your failure to say anything useful. (And don't whine
because you can't take a taste of your own medicine.) I hope for your sake that this
message will help you improve, because god knows your reading comprehension, vocabulary,
and understanding of the basic concepts are all lacking.
(Oops, was that rude? How about "because god knows that in many fundamental, basic
areas you're lacking". There, now it's vague and therefore apparently no longer
rude.)
More on the saga as (or if) it continues.
Meanwhile I should probably work on Ch5 of Reality.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-15 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-15 07:29 pm (UTC)