Nihilism

[farla]

My parents are pretty smart. Discussions with them involve all sorts of free association, random tidbits of information, and generally interesting looks on things. Recently talking to them has been along unusually dark lines.

Well, it's not exactly new - mostly it's that we're talking less casually. But it's one of the main reasons I don't write off some of my depressive thoughts as being a matter of not having enough experience in things to have a valid benchmark.

There's benzene in Coke. And everything else. They knew fifteen years ago, but didn't care.

Do you know what benzene is? No? God, how I wish I was you. I tell my mom this, and she doesn't ask me what benzene is. She doesn't question its health effects. My family is not going to be drinking soda now. I talk to my dad about the crumbling of unions, and he responds with information from a book he's just finished reading, about America's cultural transitions. We're currently in the third stage, multiculturalism. Affirmative action created racial divides, and it's what broke the unions. There's a war at the turn of the century, Mom says. These things follow patterns. So the cafeteria here has fish fillets, and there's a poster explaining they're responsible about the species, I tell them. It says seventy percent of commercially fished species are on the brink of extinction, but they follow certain guidelines to only fish certain species. I looked up the guidelines online. They just say they're guidelines, nothing more. Dad says, I've heard fish farms are even worse.

These are our conversations.

It's probably in part just normal mood swings, but I'm in a mindset where I can't really care. There are anti-drug posters up, and I just think, if people die they die. We're overpopulated anyway. What good is wasting paper on something that doesn't convince anyone? I hear a story about how someone, a member of those troops we all have to support, raped a fourteen year old. Killed her family so they wouldn't stop him. Burned the bodies afterward. He doesn't get the death penalty. And you know? He was twenty-three. What are you supposed to believe? The water where I live is poisoned. The grass you walk over is an invasive species. The laws are on the books, but they're not being enforced. You can't crosscheck everything.

What can I say beyond that?

Comments

[farla.livejournal.com]

Eh, there's a sort of comfort in at least knowing you're not the only one. I'd go nuts if I got blank looks every time I mentioned these things.

And don't eat fish.

[kddreams.livejournal.com]

But I eat fish every Thanksgiving! Oh, yes, Happy Thanksgiving! ^.^

[farla.livejournal.com]

If you're eating any form of predatory or ocean fish, you're helping destroy not only those species, but the entire ecosystem. Consider that this Thanksgiving.