Pokemon Fanfiction Academy, Chapter Two!
Aug. 15th, 2004 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
farlaOh, it's a glorious, glorious thing, truly it is...
It opens with "All around the earth, a momentous event was about to begin; the world was about see the beginning of a form of salvation. Of course, to the saviors… they didn’t know that, and to one savior in particular it was too early to even be awake."
I could understand if LadyUmbra was just mentioning salvation as an extreme synonym for what will happen to the writers, but nope, they'll be the saviors somehow.
Next, an abra teleports off our dear protagonist, Kayla. When this happens, they "glowed a sparkling blackish purple" for some reason, despite all the times in the anime that teleportation has not involved that.
At this point we're introduced to a couple more mistakes (your/you're, words that should be capitalized but aren't). I won't keep mentioning them, but I feel the need to point out that no, there isn't improvement.
We continue along into the story and come across the line "then in anime fashion, her cheeks reddened". Because of course in the real world people don't blush.
The story continues along. Another character mentions that ralts were also used in teleporting the writers in. This irks me because while abra automatically know teleport and seem to specialize in it, ralts learn it at L16 and there's no sign they're especially skilled. Besides, if abra work, why would they also be using another kind of pokemon too?
The author refers to 'the manga' -_-;. Nevermind there's more than one and there are different characters and storylines.
Then there are a bunch of lines about how everyone has to help everyone because they're going to fail or pass as a group. Why? Let's have LadyUmbra's own grandiose dialogue explain! "Fanfiction is an art and can only prosper when the artist has talent, skill, and means. However, our art is dying and becoming a black hole of bad fanfiction. As each of you pass here having learned all the lessons necessary and hopefully having regained the spark to write well again, you must remember you are but one person. If everyone hear strives to improve not only themselves, but their fellow writers until there is no one who fights to improve alone, then, and only then, can you quell the tides of bad fanfiction and restore our art to it glory!" Because LadyUmbra certainly takes it that seriously ::rolls eyes::
It continues and we come to the line "Gary, she noted, looked a cross between smug and nervous." Liek, OMG!!! Look at the author reduce the character to his most basic feature, making him a cardboard cutout and utterly ignoring his later character development! It's incredible!
And then there's "The Cleffa can sense a stalking fan from a mile away and they’ve been trained to literally ‘pound’ you into submission.”
The rest of the students laughed. A great deal of them had no fondness for baby Pokémon, but they had to admit that the idea was unique… although some of them were now wondering how they would get close to their favorite characters…"
Note LadyUmbra's use of the characters to praise herself, and that subtle burst of irony when you realize that the idea is far from unique, considering anti-glomp creatures are used in just about every one of these stories.
We continue and come across this passage: "“They can attack us? But isn’t that against the rules of Pokémon? That a Pokémon can't attack a human?” a young girl called out.
"Minis aren’t Pokémon per say, they’re name mistakes and this is learning through pain, young lady."
Inability to tell the difference between canon and fanon? Checkity check check.
When I saw the first chapter I was worried, but now I realize the story will serve a vital purpose in teaching authors. Don't do what LadyUmbra does.
It opens with "All around the earth, a momentous event was about to begin; the world was about see the beginning of a form of salvation. Of course, to the saviors… they didn’t know that, and to one savior in particular it was too early to even be awake."
I could understand if LadyUmbra was just mentioning salvation as an extreme synonym for what will happen to the writers, but nope, they'll be the saviors somehow.
Next, an abra teleports off our dear protagonist, Kayla. When this happens, they "glowed a sparkling blackish purple" for some reason, despite all the times in the anime that teleportation has not involved that.
At this point we're introduced to a couple more mistakes (your/you're, words that should be capitalized but aren't). I won't keep mentioning them, but I feel the need to point out that no, there isn't improvement.
We continue along into the story and come across the line "then in anime fashion, her cheeks reddened". Because of course in the real world people don't blush.
The story continues along. Another character mentions that ralts were also used in teleporting the writers in. This irks me because while abra automatically know teleport and seem to specialize in it, ralts learn it at L16 and there's no sign they're especially skilled. Besides, if abra work, why would they also be using another kind of pokemon too?
The author refers to 'the manga' -_-;. Nevermind there's more than one and there are different characters and storylines.
Then there are a bunch of lines about how everyone has to help everyone because they're going to fail or pass as a group. Why? Let's have LadyUmbra's own grandiose dialogue explain! "Fanfiction is an art and can only prosper when the artist has talent, skill, and means. However, our art is dying and becoming a black hole of bad fanfiction. As each of you pass here having learned all the lessons necessary and hopefully having regained the spark to write well again, you must remember you are but one person. If everyone hear strives to improve not only themselves, but their fellow writers until there is no one who fights to improve alone, then, and only then, can you quell the tides of bad fanfiction and restore our art to it glory!" Because LadyUmbra certainly takes it that seriously ::rolls eyes::
It continues and we come to the line "Gary, she noted, looked a cross between smug and nervous." Liek, OMG!!! Look at the author reduce the character to his most basic feature, making him a cardboard cutout and utterly ignoring his later character development! It's incredible!
And then there's "The Cleffa can sense a stalking fan from a mile away and they’ve been trained to literally ‘pound’ you into submission.”
The rest of the students laughed. A great deal of them had no fondness for baby Pokémon, but they had to admit that the idea was unique… although some of them were now wondering how they would get close to their favorite characters…"
Note LadyUmbra's use of the characters to praise herself, and that subtle burst of irony when you realize that the idea is far from unique, considering anti-glomp creatures are used in just about every one of these stories.
We continue and come across this passage: "“They can attack us? But isn’t that against the rules of Pokémon? That a Pokémon can't attack a human?” a young girl called out.
"Minis aren’t Pokémon per say, they’re name mistakes and this is learning through pain, young lady."
Inability to tell the difference between canon and fanon? Checkity check check.
When I saw the first chapter I was worried, but now I realize the story will serve a vital purpose in teaching authors. Don't do what LadyUmbra does.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Out of the darkness comes LadyUmbra the light!
Date: 2004-08-16 09:19 am (UTC)Re: Out of the darkness comes LadyUmbra the light!
Date: 2004-08-16 08:15 pm (UTC)If we're really, really lucky, she might even tell us to turn 'eyes' into 'orbs'. That would be beautifully ironic. Cross your digit-like appendages!
Oh dear God...
Date: 2004-08-24 12:59 am (UTC)One day I got an e-mail from Miss Cam. She said someone thought that just because my fic was called 'The Official Fanfiction University of Kanto', I would only be covering Kanto cliches (Actually, it was because the acronym just made me giggle), and wanted to write one that would 'cover everything'. I didn't really want to say yes, but Umbra's original e-mail (forwarded to me by Miss Cam) said she had 'a zillion classes and plots planned out already', and saying no would've made me feel bitchier than usual.
So it was done. I've never checked her fic until now, and I'm glad I didn't. UGH. I'm not saying my fic is OMGTEHSUPERIOR, but...reading that made me want to hurt myself for giving her the go-ahead.
I write OFUK to amuse myself and others, and she apparently writes OFUP to glorifiy herself in FRONT of others x_x.
~TRF
P.S. - Do you ever use the name 'Fama'? Just wondering, because if that's the case, I'd like to thank you for making me realise just how badly my Pokemon fic, Neo-Poke (Note to self: Find a better title), needs a total re-write.
Re: Oh dear God...
Date: 2004-08-25 01:25 am (UTC)It's really not your fault the story exists. I trace blame to Miss Cam, who doesn't seem willing to refuse anyone (thus making me wonder what the point of getting her permission is...).
And your story is superior. (Okay, everything is, but I mean it in a nice way) Thus making it all the more necessary for someone to incite a flamewar between the two stories so I can be amused, but I digress.
Oh, and don't be so cynical about why she wrote it. She didn't write OFUP just to glorify herself. She's also managed to snag a few reviews on her other stories too. Wait, that's not any better, is it?Re: Oh dear God...
Date: 2004-08-25 12:14 pm (UTC)Though, if someone would start a flame war between the two, I would
find it so funny that I'd laugh for ten minutes straight and hope that it wouldn't endnot be at all amused and have to insist that everyone cease such childish behavior.