And you should understand that the dialogue bit is something I've got a shortcut for in OpenOffice because I've had to say it so much. Almost every story was making the same mistake as yours or a related one. Look, this initiative you've shown coming here is great. But you could also use that initiative to try to find this out on your own - googling something like "dialogue rules" will provide you with plenty of sites to explain in greater detail.
As to the story itself: No, I'm afraid not. I don't much care for romances, so I can't really give much of a response, or at least not one that'd be of use to you. It's really hard for me to tell the difference between a legitimate storyline issue and something that's just a matter of preference, and I'm only barely familiar with the characters.
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Date: 2008-12-25 04:32 am (UTC)As to the story itself: No, I'm afraid not. I don't much care for romances, so I can't really give much of a response, or at least not one that'd be of use to you. It's really hard for me to tell the difference between a legitimate storyline issue and something that's just a matter of preference, and I'm only barely familiar with the characters.