Moron influx - like FFN doesn't have enough of them.

[farla]

The third person this week has pulled out the 'I wrote it when I was little and of course I couldn't revise it before posting because I'm a fucking moron' excuse.

This dimwit tries to excuse all the complaints by her readers about her story Answers by saying she wrote it when she was eight.

Earlier, another 'author' submitted a 'story', spelling mistakes and all, that they wrote in sixth grade.

And then just before that was another author who submitted a story she wrote five years ago, without even glancing over it once.

Where the hell are these people coming from? And what will it take to make them go back there?

Comments

[jaxmalcolm.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm not sure which to laugh about. The author or the reviewer who demands to see more.

So, let's see. Fire Red and Leaf Green are featured in her story which she wrote when she was eight. Assuming she didn't edit the sucker, this makes her eight or nine, right? Isn't there something quite obvious on the registration page that says you must be thirteen or older to register with the site? Heck, isn't there a little box you have to tick to say you are at least thirteen?

Yes, I know I'm questioning the obvious, but I'm just sitting here in disbelief over how some excuses can just drip with stupidity.

I know this is going to be a bit off topic, but I'm sure you'll get a kick out of this community, if you haven't already discovered it. We'd certainly appreciate more complaints about badfic authors.

[jaxmalcolm.livejournal.com]

Sorry. I didn't even bother with the second author. I was too dumbfounded at the "eight-year-old."

However, I glanced through the second story, and my icon says it all.

I have no sure answer to your question about where they come from, though I have a feeling that my country's to blame. Not that I have anything against the US educational system itself, but I simply don't see that many Australians or British subjects trying to use the letter U as a pronoun.

[farla.livejournal.com]

Good point. I think I'll go ask her that.

[wintersheir]

Yeah, I added this particular problem to the List a few weeks ago. UGH. By the way, Dragonfree tried the whole "Pokéballs don't make sense so my [blank] doesn't have to either!" excuse on me the other day. Thoughts?

[farla.livejournal.com]

::twitches:: Pokeballs are canon. And pokeballs do make sense - they follow rules, their mechanism is just unexplained. They basically function as technological magic. They convert a pokemon into a form of energy allowing it to be stored within a small ball. What doesn't make sense about that? It's pretty simple.

And even if they didn't, POKEBALLS ARE CANON. Even if there are problems in the source, that does not justify making up more problems in fanfic.

::twitches more:: I'm going to go back to work on my essay-rant about why you shouldn't add new things to fanfic without forethought and reason. I'm going to go insane if I see any more of this.

What was she trying to justify by saying that? ::prays it was at least technology based::

(Oh, and have you seen Pokémon: Trinity of Flame Leaf and Rain (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2194549/1/)? It involves a law change that all children have to stay in school until fifteen before becoming trainers...unless the professor wants to tutor them, at which point they can be taught by the professor for the five years they have to wait. Because removing kids from school for five years to teach them how to be trainers is so much less disruptive to education than just having ten year olds go out for a year or so as trainers.)

[wintersheir]

Here's the line from her 'fic: The water-repellant spray had gotten him there completely dry...

My response: "water-repellant spray"? so...the storekeeper coated Mark's ENTIRE BODY (being as he was "completely dry" when he arrived) with a shell of some...what, polymer? plastic? and...how is he going to get it off, if it's "water-repellant", as you said?

Her response: We can't exactly capture life forms into balls and store them on computers either, can we? I made up some kind of a spray that somehow gets people dry to Aquarium City. Don't ask me how it works, but presumably it can be washed off with soap and hot water.

*smacks forehead*

Heh, that Trinity 'fic... ones like that make me a little sad because the author is trying pretty hard, but screwing up hugely. He probably thinks he's being so creative, turning canon upside-down, but not actually deviating from the "formula" to any great extent. *sigh* And the things people do to get away with having an older trainer... x_X

[farla.livejournal.com]

::headdesk::

Water repellent...that comes off with soap and WATER? The fuck? Dammit! AL-CO-HOL! You want something that repels water but can be washed off, you say it comes off with alcohol. It's bad enough to have stuff like this, but when there's an easy explanation it's even worse. And there are a ton of other liquids that don't involve water but aren't contact poisons. Or it could fall apart when out of water. Or it could degrade in sunlight. Or anything. (And we could so make something like that! We wouldn't because do you have any idea how unpleasant it would be to have something airtight over your skin? Imagine wearing skintight rubber for a while...But it is totally within the realm of our current ability with chemicals. If we can turn metals into glass and create a liquid that hardens as it gets warmer, I think we can handle a little water.)

Don't ask her how it works? Who are you supposed to ask?

And yeah, the Trinity author...he's got some decent ideas, but has no concept of research or canon (Pokemarts are a chain of stores, not personally owned, so they don't have people living there! And...gah, the whole bit about Viridian Forest. He's almost as uninformed as my Environmental Science teacher, may she die a painful death.) He might be a good author with more practice, but not right now.

[wintersheir]

Oh, and while we're at it:

From 'fic: Dratini threw himself into the water as Sandslash leapt up, producing a powerful tremor as he landed. Both Feraligatr and Quagsire were severely hurt; Dratini, being in the water, was not affected by it, just like Mark had hoped.

My comment: The fact that the energy from the earthquake would have TRAVELED THROUGH THE WATER notwithstanding, of course.

"Explanation" (I use the term loosely): What would you know about how Earthquake works in my fic? All I've told you is that it doesn't actually produce an earthquake but just weird ripples in the floor/ground that only hurt Pokémon, which should tell you that I have my own ideas about Earthquake. Now I'm telling you that my version of Earthquake doesn't work through water, and if I tell you that, that's the way it is and the way it will be. I've actually said it before; it was in chapter nine. Once said, I stick to it. This strategy (making Dratini jump into the water) was made to take advantage of the rule; the rule wasn't made to be taken advantage of by the strategy.

So...am I wrong in interpreting this as her telling canon to go screw itself? In the games, it's always made an EARTHQUAKE, I can't remember seeing it used in the show but I'm sure it's the same thing... If she wanted to change it that badly, why didn't she make up her own attack? Ugh...

When she posts her next chapter I'm going to ask if the platforms were floating or connected to the bottom of the pool. If they were floating, then the above was some absolutely disgusting physics, but if they were connected to the bottom of the pool then it sort of works...in real earthquakes, there're different types of waves produced, some of which cannot travel through a liquid.

Either way, the total departure from canon in an attempt to make things...what, safer for the trainer, it looks like, makes me a little ill. blah.

[razorleaf.livejournal.com]

Quakes don't go through the water? Try telling the people in Asia that....
The moron.

[farla.livejournal.com]

Well, technically, if you're in the water during a tsunami, you're actually fine, as long as you aren't near the shore. Tsunami ripples are actually quite gentle because they come from so far way.

Which doesn't excuse the 'my earthquakes are just special' bit.

[razorleaf.livejournal.com]

That's not what I'm saying. She said Quakes don't go through water. I say they do. They would not hurt people, but seeing as Earthquakes in pokémon are made from attack 'energy' then the pokémon would feel it.

[farla.livejournal.com]

But those are normal quakes. These are her special quakes. They're a lot like regular quakes, except they ride on a short bus to school and need a lot of individual attention.

[wintersheir]

*laughs*

When I saw that it'd gone from eight comments to thirteen, I was like "oh good, Dragonfree found us..."

Glad to see that isn't the case...as of yet. xD

Whee.

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, it's ME! The person who has "found" you! Aren't you delighted...

Anyway, the reason I changed Earthquake around was that I came to a wall when I was first about to describe it. Pokémon being able to produce a real earthquake is very hard to explain properly. If they could make real earthquakes occur, we'd have Asia situations every day in the Pokémon world, just because an unfortunate trainer's Ground Pokémon happened to get a critical hit. Therefore, I changed Earthquake to work differently and simply have that name as a metaphor; basically, I write Earthquake to produce waves of energy which travel across the ground and disrupt the balance of energy in a Pokémon. It was made very clear much earlier in the fic that I imagine the Pokémon attack Earthquake to have nothing to do with real earthquakes, and Keleri did not seem to have a problem with it then. You're looking at it out of context.

Now, given that I had already changed Earthquake to work completely differently, I also made it so that these waves of energy did not travel through water. When Keleri commented that they would, I therefore assumed that the waves in question were the energy waves that I had described long before as being what my Earthquake consisted of, and replied accordingly. However, you start poking fun at me for thinking that's how *real* earthquakes work, without actually having read my original description of Earthquake and seen the obvious difference between it and the real thing.

As for the water-repellant spray, I was thinking more along the lines of "repels cold water, but hot water gets it out" when I wrote out the reply, but that was just a random half-asleep suggestion anyway. Stupid explanation or not, my point was just that it's some kind of a spray that repels water and somehow it can be gotten out, but it doesn't matter how. Mentioning the Pokéballs was for comparison because they are some kind of balls that can store life forms inside them and it doesn't matter how because that's just the way it is.

It's game canon that you can use Dive without drowning or dying from cold. I had to explain it, so I quickly thought up something. Lame, sure, but better than just having him magically able to go underwater and come dry out of it. I could have pondered it back and forward and thought of something that really made a lot of sense, but why bother since it was just a one-time mention anyway? That's how I thought it when I wrote the original, and that's what I tend to think when rewriting something that doesn't matter, such as how exactly Mark stayed dry on the way. If it really bothers you, I'll think up something better.

Re: Whee.

[farla.livejournal.com]

I think the real issue is that you don't have any explanation on how these things work, they fly in the face of reason, and you're changing things unnecessarily.

Let's take earthquake. There's a really simple way it could be an attack without causing massive damage elsewhere - it's localized or even controlled by the pokemon in question. Earthquakes in our world come only from deep within the crust, but in the pokemon world the attack version is strictly surface-based, so it really wouldn't be traveling far even assuming it functioned like a regular earthquake and wasn't under any additional control by the pokemon.

Even if you have it differently, unless you can explain why the tremors don't carry through water, don't be surprised if people find that an issue. (For example - if the earthquake attack only affects about a foot or so into the ground and the pokemon focus the tremors so they don't go deeper, a pokemon could dive underwater below that point and avoid the attack.)

Ditto for the spray thing. You need some explanation for how it works if you have something odd. You shouldn't just be making suggestions unless it's something you deliberately don't want a concrete reason for.

As to Mark staying dry, you know, in the real world, people really do go diving without drowning or freezing. There's existing technology to accomplish this, which, incidentally, was featured on the show several times, so it's pretty certain it exists there too.

(Besides, if he has to get soaked in hot water to get it off...he's not dry anymore, and it seems pretty odd someone would design a spray to keep you dry that required getting soaked to remove it.)

Re: Whee.

[wintersheir]

It was made very clear much earlier in the fic that I imagine the Pokémon attack Earthquake to have nothing to do with real earthquakes, and Keleri did not seem to have a problem with it then.

I didn't comment on it before because I was just reading through your 'fic without thinking about it. My less-than-excited first review to your story is a testament to my disinclination to make in-depth commentary despite some of the nonsensical things I'd read.

You said it produced a tremor that hurt pokemon, not people, and hurt electric-types because it created an imbalance between the positive and negative charges in their bodies. You never stated that they would not travel through water in this particular initial description, which doesn't make sense either. The fact that it hurts pokemon and not people is another one of those "umm...magic"-type scenarios, and electric-types are basically walking imbalanced charges to begin with.

Lame, sure, but better than just having him magically able to go underwater and come dry out of it.

And what is so wrong with having him get wet? If he's going so deep that the water gets cold enough to be hypothermia-inducing, then I think we might have some concerns involving water pressure.

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[farla.livejournal.com]

Hm...I think that it's a lot more likely for the dratini to be dead than it is to be unharmed. Shock waves travel just fine through water, and seeing as water has more substance than air, they hurt when they hit. Large, older shock waves are pretty harmless, because they should hit the whole individual evenly and because the speed change isn't abrupt (the water in front of the shockwave is also moving, a bit slower, which helps transition) but irregular/close range ones - say, setting off a blast underwater - will kill or stun all the fish. (Remember - you're mostly water. So when the water shockwave hits, that water in your body reacts to carry on the motion. If there are a couple different shockwaves pushing at different speeds and in different directions...or if the shockwave is just too strong...).

And how earthquake works is canon, thanks to the pretty, pretty stadium games. The ground does move. Also, earthquake works on water types in the water when you play the games.

[kddreams.livejournal.com]

I think that world's gonna end, but we should just forget about FFN and shut it down!!! If you ignore a problem, then there is no problem!

[farla.livejournal.com]

'See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil' sort of thing? Where's the fun in that?