...and helpful :) Thanks! I get it ::smiles:: I see what you mean by an inhuman character. It's really fascinating to read about someone who is really twisted: who sees the world in a way that people around her cannot understand. I reread it (again) and was really impressed by your effective use of description.
"the brilliant scarlet color of the blood, glistening like wet rubies in the dim light, and the shiny round black eyes...the flash of tails and hind legs before, vanishing like the end of a worm sucked into the beak of a bird." >>I thought that this description revealed a little of Ice's mindset. It is at once childish, having a tone of fascination and curiosity; bloodthirsty, perhaps the words "rubies" suggesting the idea of blood, or shedding blood, as desirable or beautiful; and abnormal: using words and phrases of description that are normally not seen, Ice is already portrayed as an unusual or even abnormal character ----in just the first few lines. Very very effective I thought. ^_^
Also, I felt that your portrayal of Ice's character was subtle but clear. Her actions and processes of thought neither pound the reader over the head nor allow him/her to skim by them. Subtle usage of diction (aka "twisting at her voice,") and the portrayal of her thoughts ("she didn't feel like they were, or could be, anything dangerous to her") shows that she is both twisted and sensitive, having a connection to the pokemon that others never bother to try.
*whew* that was probably way off. If it was, stop reading right here before I go on to the second one.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Attempts at analysis.....way off?
Date: 2004-06-23 07:03 pm (UTC)I see what you mean by an inhuman character. It's really fascinating to read about someone who is really twisted: who sees the world in a way that people around her cannot understand.
I reread it (again) and was really impressed by your effective use of description.
"the brilliant scarlet color of the blood, glistening like wet rubies in the dim light, and the shiny round black eyes...the flash of tails and hind legs before, vanishing like the end of a worm sucked into the beak of a bird."
>>I thought that this description revealed a little of Ice's mindset. It is at once childish, having a tone of fascination and curiosity; bloodthirsty, perhaps the words "rubies" suggesting the idea of blood, or shedding blood, as desirable or beautiful; and abnormal: using words and phrases of description that are normally not seen, Ice is already portrayed as an unusual or even abnormal character ----in just the first few lines.
Very very effective I thought. ^_^
Also, I felt that your portrayal of Ice's character was subtle but clear. Her actions and processes of thought neither pound the reader over the head nor allow him/her to skim by them. Subtle usage of diction (aka "twisting at her voice,") and the portrayal of her thoughts ("she didn't feel like they were, or could be, anything dangerous to her") shows that she is both twisted and sensitive, having a connection to the pokemon that others never bother to try.
*whew* that was probably way off. If it was, stop reading right here before I go on to the second one.