6 reviews again

[farla]

Camaraderie (Aradia (DD))

her Daddy

If it's not used as a name, it's not capitalized.

This is...well, it's an interesting and eerie story, but it doesn't feel quite like the characters. Droog fits well enough, but the character here seems more like someone sharing the same broad stereotype, and Aradia - well, yes, she was 0kay with a l0t 0f things as a ghost, but she wasn't content at all, and she did have goals and such. And what few demonstrations of emotion she does show here just seem further out of character - why would she care about her father or how she's supposed to act or what other people think if she doesn't care about much of anything? And there's no reason for why Droog's adopted her.

Showing Up (SS (PS))

The only discomfort, as you wait at the agreed spot, is a sort of anticipatory rage. You understand that other people call it "worry".

The rest has the usual "but you still haven't explained why they're in a relationship!" issue, but that one line's great.

Take You Home (PS (SS))

Sometimes, He Tells You About Derse (PS (SS))

Something Green (PI (Die, Crowbar, PS))

For some reason, woobie uke Die is being abused by Crowbar, he runs off and Crowbar tries to chase him down to kill him, so PI hides him

Needles and Pendulums(Doc Scratch (Kanaya))

She's a pre-adolescent female in an extremely large home, the only one awake in her world at the moment

That seems too absolute. Doc Scratch knows nearly everything, so if he says only it means only, but no one else awake right now at all? Even in different timezones or up late or newly pupating wigglers down in the caverns?

laughs as the sand flown everywhere as she falls

thrown would probably be better than flown.

So Doc Scratch is why Kanaya speaks the way she does, as well as her interests? Creepy, but it makes sense.

He adds it to the mental list as another reason to hate the spider girl, but this time he mentally bolds, triple underlines, and circles this reason.

...Scratch spent plenty of time manipulating Vriska along his preferred path as well. It's rather disingenuous to have him acting like all her behavior is her own fault and worthy of hatred when he's been interacting with her for unknown sweeps as well and pushing her into doing things the way he wants.

A lot of the Scratch ones have a weird vibe and seem to fall into some very selective readings of canon that mostly focus on his relationship with Kanaya.

Polyclef (DD (SS, HB, CD, Snowman))

Urg, Nadstat.

The problem with Nadstat is that it's childish slang, which is at complete odds with how Droog presents himself and the bits of implied dialogue we get in the comic. A few of the words used in moderation is tolerable, a lot of them and a different dialect is way too much.

I like what's going on in this, how you've characterized everyone and even how Droog describes it all except the exact terms, but the style is just horribly distracting and makes even good observations sound simpleminded.

Caution to the Wind (DD (Aradia, Vriska))

This really doesn't seem to have anything to do with the characters. Vriska and Aradia aren't eternal enemies, they were on good terms until Vriska crippled Tavros and Aradia tried to get revenge and Vriska murdered her. And Vriska can't control Aradia or she would have been able to stop Aradia back then without killing her, and also if Vriska has her powers Aradia should presumably have hers and use them. She also wouldn't be ashamed of being a redblood.

Also Vriska tosses her hair. It's not tangled or messy in the slightest: it's cut in a neat bob.? Have you seen Vriska's hair? It's a lengthy rat's nest almost exactly the same as Aradia's.

God, the daddy Droog meme. It's sort of amazing how people will idiotically adopt something with no idea of how and why it came about. The joke is that Droog would be a terrifying overprotective father who would show up with a shotgun when Equius came over with flowers. It's not that he's actually a great dad. It's not that Vriska needs to be beaten to death by him. It's not that he and Aradia click perfectly as characters.

to thank that unseen Friend (Jade (WQ))

This is beautifully written. I love how there's a fairy tale poetry to go with the fairy tale city, and queens can be killers. killers can be heroes. and girls, even girls with ‘just a dog’, can win wars. is such a perfect, perfect thing to say. And this all makes perfect sense within canon - Jade's spent half her life on Prospit, of course she'd grow up knowing the Queen.

Trust, and Ropes (SS (DD))

A pairing that has some canonical basis after our unending string of PS/SS and SS/PS. There is a fourth as much of it as the latter one and that's including ones where it's labeled moirallegiance. Minus those, there's as much DD/SS as there is DD/PI.

I suppose what we can take from this is the hope that the dominance of PS/SS is not due to misogynistic leanings but a general gravitation to nonsensical pairings.

Unless this is a seme/uke thing, which I do suspect may be a factor.

Connectivity (PM)

This is very repetitively written. In all honesty, PM didn't care about the physical letters. She might have been over protective of them, but in all honesty she could care less about the pieces of parchment themselves. is both repeating a phrase and repeating the same idea, for example. (And it would be better to put it as couldn't care less.) And from what little we've seen of other carapaces, it doesn't seem like she's unusual for being so invested in her job.

That said, I like your elaboration of what about mail she finds so important.


Aradia (DD)
SS (PS)
PS (SS)
PS (SS)
PI (Die, Crowbar, PS)
Doc Scratch (Kanaya)
DD (SS, HB, CD, Snowman)
DD (Aradia, Vriska)
Jade (WQ)
SS (DD)
PM

Three of eleven.

Comments

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

I remember when I read Camraderie there was just such an ominous feeling surrounding Aradia's accident and adoption that I was sure it was going to turn out not to be an accident at all. Which might actually make the Daddy Droog concept make some amount of sense, if she had some sort of major inheritance coming to her.

[farla.livejournal.com]

Or because Droog thought she'd make a classy killing tool and/or sex object. I could see him grooming a kid if he had reason to (and you can make a case that robot Aradia's violent outburst is what living Aradia would have been capable of, so maybe he could want another killer on a leash) because it's not like he has morals stopping him or anything, but he's got to have that reason.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and that also would have made more sense as a direction for that fic to go, because Jesus Christ is she ever fucked up in it. Instead the take-away is what, that she's a natural psychopath and Droog is a good father to her? I can't quite put my finger on why, but it skeeves me out. Very well-written, though.

[farla.livejournal.com]

I think it's the usual problem where people are idolizing psychopathy as being cool and sexy, so it's getting viewed in a more positive light than it really should.

It is indeed nicely written, and makes a bit more sense if I just replace them with OCs and assume Droog is Aradia's actual genetic father. Biological relation gives slight justification for someone feeling like they should take on the responsibility of a kid. So, assume her mom was with the guy, left, got killed unrelatedly, Droog adopts, kid turns out to be as fucked up as dad, and we have an explained fic.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

http://archiveofourown.org/works/265673

You have no idea how hard I am laughing right now.

[farla.livejournal.com]

why is this

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

I am trying to decide which is my favorite part.

Is it that the author has less understanding of how snow works than a reader born and raised in the Valley of the Sun?

Is it that we're still starting with the same interminable morning-routine-on-the-first-day scenes even without the excuse of them being a way to give background information on the OCs?

Or is it that Doc Scratch being a professor suddenly makes the joking aspersions the fandom likes to cast on the canonical professors for sending kids off to do dangerous fieldwork a lot more credible and worrying?

[farla.livejournal.com]

I was confused by Vriska being helpful and comparatively supportive, myself. I'm pretty sure the nicest Vriska gets is threatening to take the pokemon you want, then dramatically deciding it's a loser pokemon for losers so she guuuuuuuueeeeeeeeses you can have it. And then punching you. In the face. With the pokeball you wanted. THERE I GOT IT FOR YOU THANK ME!!!!!!!!

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

I'm reminded how in the brief interval after Vriska's first pesterlog but before she revealed her throwing-people-off-of-cliffs tendencies, a lot of fans (myself included) found themselves associating her with Gary Oak. So you're right, she should at least be that level of antagonistic. It seems a shame to miss out on all of the potential VRISKA MOTHERFUCKING SERKET!!!!!!!! jokes. I'd much prefer to read a Pokémon crossover just about that and one to three protagonists, and now I have just realized that this is essentially an OT fic with sixteen protagonists and that's only going to get more painful as it goes on, isn't it?

Also, look at the character tags. Jack and his crew are going to be appearing in this fic. I actually kind of really want to see how that goes, and also I am snickering over the idea of Jack being forced to wear the any of the completely ludicrous uniforms that have been a staple of Pokémon-world villainry from third generation on.

[farla.livejournal.com]

I was surprised she wasn't interested in picking a pokemon with an advantage, rival style. But then, none of it really seems thought out. I mean, why fire types? Vriska's into pirating and she used to be competing with Eridan, so either a water type for the games or a grass type to have advantage over the water types. I could maybe see her getting a charmander if she's still trying to be Mindfang v2 (and/or because of Terezi) but being a fire type cheerleader in general is just so random. If anything you'd expect her to be bothered by the fact they can fry spiders.

I actually kind of really want to see how that goes, and also I am snickering over the idea of Jack being forced to wear the any of the completely ludicrous uniforms that have been a staple of Pokémon-world villainry from third generation on.

The author missed the chance to give Tavros a four legged riding pokemon, make Vriska pull a Gary Oak, make any of the other characters do anything interesting at all, and play up Scratch being in charge of a bunch of kids. Jack is just going to be part of Team Rocket or an expy of it. If we're really, really lucky there might be a joke about him having bad one-liners.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

You're right, of course. :( It just updated, and I can't get over how Pokémon-fandom-formulaic it is, if that makes any sense. Like, okay, if you are creatively bankrupt to begin with, writing crossovers isn't going to make your story any better, but I'd hope it would at least make it a little weirder because you're mashing together tropes and formulas from two different fandoms, and theoretically that should have interesting results. For example, I haven't yet forced myself to survey SYOT fic so I can't say for sure, but I kind of doubt that Gamestuck is a straightforward SYOT with the names of Homestuck characters inserted. For one thing, there's the weirdness of the trolls being there. Also there was the oddness of characters who are ostensibly both human and bourgeois acting like video game constructs with starvation trauma. That was actively, interestingly bad. Aside from the amusing bit about the characters acting as human snowplows, this is just boring.

[conceptofzero.livejournal.com]

Farla, I just want you to know that I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't realize how many things I'd written until I moved them over.

But... now you'll have completely accurate stats on carapace fics! :D? :D?

[farla.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's fine! If I don't finish everything then I don't finish everything. ...and probably my comment on half of them is just going to be "welp, that's some porn all right".

Not completely accurate, there's still the Intermission/PS tumblr circle, a lot of whom don't look like they're crossposting. But you've made them more accurate!