Look, isn't she cute?
Jul. 4th, 2004 08:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
farlaAw...I got a new flamer-chan today, Kohaku River Anime Princess, and she's an especially stupid one. I love it! I hope she amuses you in this entry as much as she's amused me. I'll tell the full story.
Way back on May 10th, I stumbled upon a truly stupid tale, and I mean that in the narrow sense of dumb, not the wider sense of bad, which it also was. It was titled Hirei, the Pokemon Journey. You know the story's going to be good when the author can't even punctuate the title properly.
In it, a trainer named Hirei (surprised?) is starting on her pokemon journey (surprised?). She's ten (which actually is surprising). She heads out to get her first pokemon and looks at all six (note that there are six). These pokemon contain the three Kanto starters (she's in Johto, by the way) and then three random pokemon, Eevee, Cubone, and Ponyta. At this point, the warning bells began to ring in my head, but those of you who haven't read as much junk might not have had the same reaction. Whenever rare/different pokemon show up, or anything at all happens really, it means the trainer is about to get rare/implausible pokemon.
Hirei looks at the choices and demonstrates her incredible compassion and love for all pokemon, because she's just so great. But she can't choose because they're all so great too. Then the Professor's nephew shows up, named Alex. You've got to love how consistent the names are.
Next, Hirei shows her insane bitch side by immediately deciding Alex is a snot based on how he looks. Despite the obvious author-bias, Kohaku River Anime Princess fails to actually show the boy being a snot in any later dialogue or action.
In fact, the first thing 'snot' Alex (who is ten) does next is immediately complement Hirei by saying she's incredibly beautiful (even though, like I mentioned, Hirei is also ten) and ask her to go out with him. She turns him down rudely, then decides, despite the boy not saying anything, that he only cares about strong pokemon. Then she insults him for that. And then she takes a break to bash Ash. Just because. Then she stalks out without choosing a pokemon, and when Professor asks her, she says she can't choose because they all 'disserve' good trainers, and not snotty brats like Alex. The pot, it seems, likes to call the kettle black. So instead of at least one pokemon getting a 'good' trainer (in Hirei's opinion, anyway), none of them will! God, it's brilliant.
Hirei then goes to Ilex Forest from the lab. So she gets offered the Kanto pokemon from Professor Elm in New Bark Town, and then goes to Ilex Forest, which is about, what, four towns away? She's just amazing, isn't she?
She hears noise and sees the ponyta galloping after her. I'm not quite sure how it found her, since horses aren't known for their tracking ability, but whatever. It has the other five pokeballs with it, and a note. Because no description I give could match the sheer stupidity, I'll quote it directly.
"Dear Hirei,
Ponyta 'ran away' with the five poke balls containing the other five Pokemon. I tried to stop her but she was too fast. I hope you get this note and understand.
Elm"
Yes. Not only did Elm give her all six pokemon, sabotaging his own nephew, he put 'run away' in quotes. Because the fact the ponyta has the note signed by Elm didn't make it clear enough Elm did it.
So I left my review. And again, this was two months ago. Today, I get the following review:
::roll eyes::
(yes i get this crap from you)who the hell wants to write a story about the POV of a pokemon? man i don't even know who would want to read this sort of crap. Me? i read it so i could flame you back, fag it. anyways, maybe you should think about flaming people... and if you do feel like flamming people... sign off you account so i can't track you down... moron! anyways, this story is crap, and i'm sure the rest of them are crap as well. I hope you enjoyed this fucking review. Bye ^_^
Like sue, like author. She loves the whole pot-kettle idea, it seems. If signing in is such a bad idea, why'd she do it? It boggles my mind. It's obviously beyond her that I make an effort to sign in for all my reviews. I chalk up the 'who'd want to read it' to similar insanity, as the story has about four times as many reviews as hers, and it's a single chapter, unlike hers.
I'm also mystified by the fact it took her two months to notice the review.
God, I love the internet. Where else can you be continually reminded of how lucky you are to not to be in the bottom ten percent of the population?
Way back on May 10th, I stumbled upon a truly stupid tale, and I mean that in the narrow sense of dumb, not the wider sense of bad, which it also was. It was titled Hirei, the Pokemon Journey. You know the story's going to be good when the author can't even punctuate the title properly.
In it, a trainer named Hirei (surprised?) is starting on her pokemon journey (surprised?). She's ten (which actually is surprising). She heads out to get her first pokemon and looks at all six (note that there are six). These pokemon contain the three Kanto starters (she's in Johto, by the way) and then three random pokemon, Eevee, Cubone, and Ponyta. At this point, the warning bells began to ring in my head, but those of you who haven't read as much junk might not have had the same reaction. Whenever rare/different pokemon show up, or anything at all happens really, it means the trainer is about to get rare/implausible pokemon.
Hirei looks at the choices and demonstrates her incredible compassion and love for all pokemon, because she's just so great. But she can't choose because they're all so great too. Then the Professor's nephew shows up, named Alex. You've got to love how consistent the names are.
Next, Hirei shows her insane bitch side by immediately deciding Alex is a snot based on how he looks. Despite the obvious author-bias, Kohaku River Anime Princess fails to actually show the boy being a snot in any later dialogue or action.
In fact, the first thing 'snot' Alex (who is ten) does next is immediately complement Hirei by saying she's incredibly beautiful (even though, like I mentioned, Hirei is also ten) and ask her to go out with him. She turns him down rudely, then decides, despite the boy not saying anything, that he only cares about strong pokemon. Then she insults him for that. And then she takes a break to bash Ash. Just because. Then she stalks out without choosing a pokemon, and when Professor asks her, she says she can't choose because they all 'disserve' good trainers, and not snotty brats like Alex. The pot, it seems, likes to call the kettle black. So instead of at least one pokemon getting a 'good' trainer (in Hirei's opinion, anyway), none of them will! God, it's brilliant.
Hirei then goes to Ilex Forest from the lab. So she gets offered the Kanto pokemon from Professor Elm in New Bark Town, and then goes to Ilex Forest, which is about, what, four towns away? She's just amazing, isn't she?
She hears noise and sees the ponyta galloping after her. I'm not quite sure how it found her, since horses aren't known for their tracking ability, but whatever. It has the other five pokeballs with it, and a note. Because no description I give could match the sheer stupidity, I'll quote it directly.
"Dear Hirei,
Ponyta 'ran away' with the five poke balls containing the other five Pokemon. I tried to stop her but she was too fast. I hope you get this note and understand.
Elm"
Yes. Not only did Elm give her all six pokemon, sabotaging his own nephew, he put 'run away' in quotes. Because the fact the ponyta has the note signed by Elm didn't make it clear enough Elm did it.
So I left my review. And again, this was two months ago. Today, I get the following review:
::roll eyes::
(yes i get this crap from you)who the hell wants to write a story about the POV of a pokemon? man i don't even know who would want to read this sort of crap. Me? i read it so i could flame you back, fag it. anyways, maybe you should think about flaming people... and if you do feel like flamming people... sign off you account so i can't track you down... moron! anyways, this story is crap, and i'm sure the rest of them are crap as well. I hope you enjoyed this fucking review. Bye ^_^
Like sue, like author. She loves the whole pot-kettle idea, it seems. If signing in is such a bad idea, why'd she do it? It boggles my mind. It's obviously beyond her that I make an effort to sign in for all my reviews. I chalk up the 'who'd want to read it' to similar insanity, as the story has about four times as many reviews as hers, and it's a single chapter, unlike hers.
I'm also mystified by the fact it took her two months to notice the review.
God, I love the internet. Where else can you be continually reminded of how lucky you are to not to be in the bottom ten percent of the population?
Two months to notice
Date: 2004-07-05 04:46 am (UTC)Re: Two months to notice
Date: 2004-07-05 09:16 pm (UTC)(I'd hate to see what she would have written if she'd only waited one month O.O)
One half crown to see all the mad people.
Date: 2004-07-05 02:00 pm (UTC)There are a lot of bad OT fics and a lot of poor writer's. There is no point in tit for tat reviewing- to insult someone because they insulted you or to compliment someone because they did the same. Normally they aren't even proper reviews.
Her flame sounds a bit like a threat, why would you worry if she could track all your reviews? The review also shows her up quite badly, insulting you just because you had the temerity to review her fic badly.
Re: One half crown to see all the mad people.
Date: 2004-07-05 09:22 pm (UTC)Of course, if she really wanted to be fair, she'd criticize actual parts of my story that were bad with a slightly snarky attitude, the way I did for her story.
Re: One half crown to see all the mad people.
Date: 2004-07-05 09:55 pm (UTC)But if she was going to properly criticise your story she would have to actually read it first and then have to think up of a way of insulting you, perhaps like one notable reviewer who decided that you were obsessed with POV's and hated all other stories
Re: One half crown to see all the mad people.
Date: 2004-07-06 04:45 pm (UTC)SunLight
Date: 2004-07-05 10:29 pm (UTC)It's quite funny about your mood icon about this whole story because that's how I feel at the moment. I remember three years ago when I wrote a story and you criticized it, and I was not happy. Boy am I GLAD I did not do something silly like her, because though I still don't agree with all of your points, I see that I never properly developed my story to show my why I did certain things. I visited her profile, and her list of stories, and I cracked up at the summary for her story. It's er...very catchy, you know, especially with the whole too beautiful to battle her. And of course, nothing could beat the part about Ponyta running off with all six balls (six? The original starters? Hmmm) because that just happens everyday. Given all of this, I'm actually surprised the story made sense the first few paragraphs. =D
You know, I do think you should stop bothering with these people. I feel bad for you, whether with flamers or with people who loves your reviews so much...they don't take your advice and want more reviews! It must suck having an opinion in the Pokemon fandom, when the majority of the people are younger and less experienced...and like to sue (LoL! hey pun! Sorry =P) you because you make sense.
Err...hope I'm not being OT! Well, I should stop bothering you, but I'm going to leave off with a question I apparently haven't answered for two years. One of us mentioned an Eeveelution team, and you asked for my sixth Pokemon. It's Miltank! Yay! Bye! Good luck with the Ice story you're writing, and I hope that it'll give something for others to think about.
Re: SunLight
Date: 2004-07-06 11:34 pm (UTC)I'm glad you found my entries interesting, I'd hate to be boring everyone.
I know the authors don't usually take my advice, and those that say they will generally lack the ability to actually pull it off (even in things like paragraphing -_-), but I seem to be effecting things indirectly. Sometimes it's because other authors see the reviews and try to take the advice themselves. There are fewer OT stories, although I think that's more because I just scared all the writers than anything else. But the reviews still serve a valuable purpose. They remind the author that they aren't a great writer and that they need to put in effort before posting something. Who knows how much of an impact I'm really making, but at least there are fewer OTs! If stories have to be badly written, they could at least tell a new story when they do.
Yeah, you're a bit off topic. But you're interestingly off topic, and besides, it doesn't really matter. What else is a livejournal if not a place for random thoughts?
Thanks, I'll probably need all the luck I can get. Ice's story is threatening to make me fail spectacularly.