Look, isn't she cute?
Jul. 4th, 2004 08:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
farlaAw...I got a new flamer-chan today, Kohaku River Anime Princess, and she's an especially stupid one. I love it! I hope she amuses you in this entry as much as she's amused me. I'll tell the full story.
Way back on May 10th, I stumbled upon a truly stupid tale, and I mean that in the narrow sense of dumb, not the wider sense of bad, which it also was. It was titled Hirei, the Pokemon Journey. You know the story's going to be good when the author can't even punctuate the title properly.
In it, a trainer named Hirei (surprised?) is starting on her pokemon journey (surprised?). She's ten (which actually is surprising). She heads out to get her first pokemon and looks at all six (note that there are six). These pokemon contain the three Kanto starters (she's in Johto, by the way) and then three random pokemon, Eevee, Cubone, and Ponyta. At this point, the warning bells began to ring in my head, but those of you who haven't read as much junk might not have had the same reaction. Whenever rare/different pokemon show up, or anything at all happens really, it means the trainer is about to get rare/implausible pokemon.
Hirei looks at the choices and demonstrates her incredible compassion and love for all pokemon, because she's just so great. But she can't choose because they're all so great too. Then the Professor's nephew shows up, named Alex. You've got to love how consistent the names are.
Next, Hirei shows her insane bitch side by immediately deciding Alex is a snot based on how he looks. Despite the obvious author-bias, Kohaku River Anime Princess fails to actually show the boy being a snot in any later dialogue or action.
In fact, the first thing 'snot' Alex (who is ten) does next is immediately complement Hirei by saying she's incredibly beautiful (even though, like I mentioned, Hirei is also ten) and ask her to go out with him. She turns him down rudely, then decides, despite the boy not saying anything, that he only cares about strong pokemon. Then she insults him for that. And then she takes a break to bash Ash. Just because. Then she stalks out without choosing a pokemon, and when Professor asks her, she says she can't choose because they all 'disserve' good trainers, and not snotty brats like Alex. The pot, it seems, likes to call the kettle black. So instead of at least one pokemon getting a 'good' trainer (in Hirei's opinion, anyway), none of them will! God, it's brilliant.
Hirei then goes to Ilex Forest from the lab. So she gets offered the Kanto pokemon from Professor Elm in New Bark Town, and then goes to Ilex Forest, which is about, what, four towns away? She's just amazing, isn't she?
She hears noise and sees the ponyta galloping after her. I'm not quite sure how it found her, since horses aren't known for their tracking ability, but whatever. It has the other five pokeballs with it, and a note. Because no description I give could match the sheer stupidity, I'll quote it directly.
"Dear Hirei,
Ponyta 'ran away' with the five poke balls containing the other five Pokemon. I tried to stop her but she was too fast. I hope you get this note and understand.
Elm"
Yes. Not only did Elm give her all six pokemon, sabotaging his own nephew, he put 'run away' in quotes. Because the fact the ponyta has the note signed by Elm didn't make it clear enough Elm did it.
So I left my review. And again, this was two months ago. Today, I get the following review:
::roll eyes::
(yes i get this crap from you)who the hell wants to write a story about the POV of a pokemon? man i don't even know who would want to read this sort of crap. Me? i read it so i could flame you back, fag it. anyways, maybe you should think about flaming people... and if you do feel like flamming people... sign off you account so i can't track you down... moron! anyways, this story is crap, and i'm sure the rest of them are crap as well. I hope you enjoyed this fucking review. Bye ^_^
Like sue, like author. She loves the whole pot-kettle idea, it seems. If signing in is such a bad idea, why'd she do it? It boggles my mind. It's obviously beyond her that I make an effort to sign in for all my reviews. I chalk up the 'who'd want to read it' to similar insanity, as the story has about four times as many reviews as hers, and it's a single chapter, unlike hers.
I'm also mystified by the fact it took her two months to notice the review.
God, I love the internet. Where else can you be continually reminded of how lucky you are to not to be in the bottom ten percent of the population?
Way back on May 10th, I stumbled upon a truly stupid tale, and I mean that in the narrow sense of dumb, not the wider sense of bad, which it also was. It was titled Hirei, the Pokemon Journey. You know the story's going to be good when the author can't even punctuate the title properly.
In it, a trainer named Hirei (surprised?) is starting on her pokemon journey (surprised?). She's ten (which actually is surprising). She heads out to get her first pokemon and looks at all six (note that there are six). These pokemon contain the three Kanto starters (she's in Johto, by the way) and then three random pokemon, Eevee, Cubone, and Ponyta. At this point, the warning bells began to ring in my head, but those of you who haven't read as much junk might not have had the same reaction. Whenever rare/different pokemon show up, or anything at all happens really, it means the trainer is about to get rare/implausible pokemon.
Hirei looks at the choices and demonstrates her incredible compassion and love for all pokemon, because she's just so great. But she can't choose because they're all so great too. Then the Professor's nephew shows up, named Alex. You've got to love how consistent the names are.
Next, Hirei shows her insane bitch side by immediately deciding Alex is a snot based on how he looks. Despite the obvious author-bias, Kohaku River Anime Princess fails to actually show the boy being a snot in any later dialogue or action.
In fact, the first thing 'snot' Alex (who is ten) does next is immediately complement Hirei by saying she's incredibly beautiful (even though, like I mentioned, Hirei is also ten) and ask her to go out with him. She turns him down rudely, then decides, despite the boy not saying anything, that he only cares about strong pokemon. Then she insults him for that. And then she takes a break to bash Ash. Just because. Then she stalks out without choosing a pokemon, and when Professor asks her, she says she can't choose because they all 'disserve' good trainers, and not snotty brats like Alex. The pot, it seems, likes to call the kettle black. So instead of at least one pokemon getting a 'good' trainer (in Hirei's opinion, anyway), none of them will! God, it's brilliant.
Hirei then goes to Ilex Forest from the lab. So she gets offered the Kanto pokemon from Professor Elm in New Bark Town, and then goes to Ilex Forest, which is about, what, four towns away? She's just amazing, isn't she?
She hears noise and sees the ponyta galloping after her. I'm not quite sure how it found her, since horses aren't known for their tracking ability, but whatever. It has the other five pokeballs with it, and a note. Because no description I give could match the sheer stupidity, I'll quote it directly.
"Dear Hirei,
Ponyta 'ran away' with the five poke balls containing the other five Pokemon. I tried to stop her but she was too fast. I hope you get this note and understand.
Elm"
Yes. Not only did Elm give her all six pokemon, sabotaging his own nephew, he put 'run away' in quotes. Because the fact the ponyta has the note signed by Elm didn't make it clear enough Elm did it.
So I left my review. And again, this was two months ago. Today, I get the following review:
::roll eyes::
(yes i get this crap from you)who the hell wants to write a story about the POV of a pokemon? man i don't even know who would want to read this sort of crap. Me? i read it so i could flame you back, fag it. anyways, maybe you should think about flaming people... and if you do feel like flamming people... sign off you account so i can't track you down... moron! anyways, this story is crap, and i'm sure the rest of them are crap as well. I hope you enjoyed this fucking review. Bye ^_^
Like sue, like author. She loves the whole pot-kettle idea, it seems. If signing in is such a bad idea, why'd she do it? It boggles my mind. It's obviously beyond her that I make an effort to sign in for all my reviews. I chalk up the 'who'd want to read it' to similar insanity, as the story has about four times as many reviews as hers, and it's a single chapter, unlike hers.
I'm also mystified by the fact it took her two months to notice the review.
God, I love the internet. Where else can you be continually reminded of how lucky you are to not to be in the bottom ten percent of the population?
