Starr Region, Ch9-10!
Jun. 19th, 2006 11:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
farlaLongtime readers (who, by the way, are superior in every way to those of you who've wandered in more recently and thus spent less time paying attention to ME) may remember a previous entry in which I talked about an amusing example of the 'submitted OC' style of fic. To sum it up, the story is...interesting, let's say, for a few reasons. One, the submitted characters are, even for the subgenre, pretty impressively awful, two, the author updates regularly enough that she actually gets to the submitted characters, and ever-hilarious three, one of these is a character I'm familiar with in his original story, Facia's Elliot. It's like the new Shiny Assassin!
Let's see what happening to him and the others, shall we?
When we last left our heroes, in Chapter Eight, Elliot helped Main Character Amy catch a pair of black and white eevees. Amy kept the white onebecause she's a girl and Elliot got the black one, who he names Coal.
He has six pokemon already, by the way. But as we see in chapter Nine( Wave City and the Lost Twosome), this just means he keeps Coal out all the time. Who needs lame ordinary pokemon like spearow when you can have a black eevee?
Next comes this striking bit of inanity:
" Elliot have you gotten a badge from here yet?"
"Nope, but I'm planning to!" He said, Amy grinned.
" Good, I thought that maybe I would be the only one to battle. What poke'mon are you going to use?" Amy asked, Elliot paused.
" I'm thinking of using Din, my Mightyena, since Howler wouldn't do so well with a fire type." He said, Amy smiled, and the group started down the hill.
The author actually does this with all her characters actually – it's this bizarre thing where characters can't seem to have more than one or two pokemon at a time, so all strategy-based decision making is done as if...well, there is no real strategy, but it's theoretically based on dealing with things as if they had only two pokemon at any given point. It's most pronounced when dealing with starting pokemon, probably because she's treating them as especially important. This amuses me more because half the time you'd think Facia forgot about Howler.
There's a brief little interlude with other characters finding a random diamond-studded locket in a river, which a random bayleaf immediately steals. (How exactly a large, four-legged dinosaur snatches a locket so deftly is left unexplored) Unfortunately, I don't know them, and the only way these characters are memorable is if you already know them and are giggling over mischaracterization, since they don't have enough character to be interesting for anything else.
We return to the main group of characters to find Elliot gloating over his victory in a very sugar-high semi-humor-fic-esque way.
Amy sighed as Elliot danced wagging the gym badge triumphantly in her face, "You know its not nice to gloat, don't you?"
" Oh sure I know, but I like to rub it in your face!" He said
This, as we learn a moment later, doesn't even make sense, as Main Character Amy hasn't even entered the gym yet.
Anyway, she enters. The gym leader is bizarrely cocky considering he just lost to Elliot five minutes ago and Main Character Amy is his age. The story cuts off before we see the actual fight, but really, if you can't figure out that MainSue Character Amy's white eevee named after the author's friend will beat the cocky gym leader's boring mudkip...well, you're probably the type of person to enjoy the story itself and should stop reading this.
Next chapter, Ten( Badge, Cruelty, Paired, & Darkness)...
Amy wins. Shock, amazement. She receives the sueiest sue badge to ever grace suefic since the fandom began (It was a saphire colored stone with a Vaporeon, Quagsire, and Mudkip swimming around a Dragonair in the middle. Almighty God, why have you forsaken us?) and Jason's personality flips so he can decide to join them to grow stronger. Who gave this kid a gym?
We flip to an actually interesting scene simply for its bizarre WTF nature. Evil Pokemon Thief Mary demonstrates supersue speed and planning as she manages to get and tie up a pokemon that was inside a trainer's pokeball without him noticing, then places it on a previously gathered pile of sticks and threatens it with a torch lit at some point without anyone noticing that there even was a torch.
She tells Underage Trainer Ricky to get in the cage that doesn't seem to exist according to the narration, threatening to light his sneasel on fire. It's not explained why her boss gives a damn about catching Underage Trainer Ricky, but I'm sure it'll be headdesky when finally revealed.
Does Ricky a) Do what she says b) Try to stop her c) Try to retrieve his sneasel or d) Stand around begging despite being completely unrestrained?
After his sneasel's lit on fire, he continues begging and makes no effort to actually help the pokemon. Personally, I'm guessing he hopes that if his pokemon dies, he'll be able to get out of the story. Meanwhile, Evil Pokemon Thief Mary's pokemon, a vulpix, attempts to kick dirt onto the flames, then dumps a canteen onto the fire somehow, then tries to wrap herself around the sneasel to protect it. Like its owner, the vulpix is able to do all of this in a single action without anyone able to interfere. It's like godmodding, but in fanfic. Irritated, Evil Pokemon Thief Mary puts out the fire to retrieve her pokemon (incidentally, vulpix's characteristic renders it immune to flames, and it should take damage from having water dumped on it), and Underage and Rather Slow Trainer Ricky is now able to run over and grab both pokemon. I guess he couldn't touch them until they'd acquired third degree burns.
We switch to the locket/bayleef people again, who are doing nothing interesting.
Next we return to the main group, where our heroes are about to enter the dark mouth of a...canyon. Yeah, not quite sure how that works either. Boring!Elliot sees nothing scary about pure, blinding darkness, and merely mocks Main Character Amy for her fears. Personally, I'd be mildly disinclined to walk through a rocky area in pitch darkness due to a personality flaw I like to refer to as sanity, but it's nice to know other people aren't so hobbled.
More on this later, probably.
Let's see what happening to him and the others, shall we?
When we last left our heroes, in Chapter Eight, Elliot helped Main Character Amy catch a pair of black and white eevees. Amy kept the white one
He has six pokemon already, by the way. But as we see in chapter Nine( Wave City and the Lost Twosome), this just means he keeps Coal out all the time. Who needs lame ordinary pokemon like spearow when you can have a black eevee?
Next comes this striking bit of inanity:
" Elliot have you gotten a badge from here yet?"
"Nope, but I'm planning to!" He said, Amy grinned.
" Good, I thought that maybe I would be the only one to battle. What poke'mon are you going to use?" Amy asked, Elliot paused.
" I'm thinking of using Din, my Mightyena, since Howler wouldn't do so well with a fire type." He said, Amy smiled, and the group started down the hill.
The author actually does this with all her characters actually – it's this bizarre thing where characters can't seem to have more than one or two pokemon at a time, so all strategy-based decision making is done as if...well, there is no real strategy, but it's theoretically based on dealing with things as if they had only two pokemon at any given point. It's most pronounced when dealing with starting pokemon, probably because she's treating them as especially important. This amuses me more because half the time you'd think Facia forgot about Howler.
There's a brief little interlude with other characters finding a random diamond-studded locket in a river, which a random bayleaf immediately steals. (How exactly a large, four-legged dinosaur snatches a locket so deftly is left unexplored) Unfortunately, I don't know them, and the only way these characters are memorable is if you already know them and are giggling over mischaracterization, since they don't have enough character to be interesting for anything else.
We return to the main group of characters to find Elliot gloating over his victory in a very sugar-high semi-humor-fic-esque way.
Amy sighed as Elliot danced wagging the gym badge triumphantly in her face, "You know its not nice to gloat, don't you?"
" Oh sure I know, but I like to rub it in your face!" He said
This, as we learn a moment later, doesn't even make sense, as Main Character Amy hasn't even entered the gym yet.
Anyway, she enters. The gym leader is bizarrely cocky considering he just lost to Elliot five minutes ago and Main Character Amy is his age. The story cuts off before we see the actual fight, but really, if you can't figure out that Main
Next chapter, Ten( Badge, Cruelty, Paired, & Darkness)...
Amy wins. Shock, amazement. She receives the sueiest sue badge to ever grace suefic since the fandom began (It was a saphire colored stone with a Vaporeon, Quagsire, and Mudkip swimming around a Dragonair in the middle. Almighty God, why have you forsaken us?) and Jason's personality flips so he can decide to join them to grow stronger. Who gave this kid a gym?
We flip to an actually interesting scene simply for its bizarre WTF nature. Evil Pokemon Thief Mary demonstrates supersue speed and planning as she manages to get and tie up a pokemon that was inside a trainer's pokeball without him noticing, then places it on a previously gathered pile of sticks and threatens it with a torch lit at some point without anyone noticing that there even was a torch.
She tells Underage Trainer Ricky to get in the cage that doesn't seem to exist according to the narration, threatening to light his sneasel on fire. It's not explained why her boss gives a damn about catching Underage Trainer Ricky, but I'm sure it'll be headdesky when finally revealed.
Does Ricky a) Do what she says b) Try to stop her c) Try to retrieve his sneasel or d) Stand around begging despite being completely unrestrained?
After his sneasel's lit on fire, he continues begging and makes no effort to actually help the pokemon. Personally, I'm guessing he hopes that if his pokemon dies, he'll be able to get out of the story. Meanwhile, Evil Pokemon Thief Mary's pokemon, a vulpix, attempts to kick dirt onto the flames, then dumps a canteen onto the fire somehow, then tries to wrap herself around the sneasel to protect it. Like its owner, the vulpix is able to do all of this in a single action without anyone able to interfere. It's like godmodding, but in fanfic. Irritated, Evil Pokemon Thief Mary puts out the fire to retrieve her pokemon (incidentally, vulpix's characteristic renders it immune to flames, and it should take damage from having water dumped on it), and Underage and Rather Slow Trainer Ricky is now able to run over and grab both pokemon. I guess he couldn't touch them until they'd acquired third degree burns.
We switch to the locket/bayleef people again, who are doing nothing interesting.
Next we return to the main group, where our heroes are about to enter the dark mouth of a...canyon. Yeah, not quite sure how that works either. Boring!Elliot sees nothing scary about pure, blinding darkness, and merely mocks Main Character Amy for her fears. Personally, I'd be mildly disinclined to walk through a rocky area in pitch darkness due to a personality flaw I like to refer to as sanity, but it's nice to know other people aren't so hobbled.
More on this later, probably.
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no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 04:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 05:19 pm (UTC)Hm... I wonder how fast all of her pokemon will be evolving...
no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 07:24 pm (UTC)I actually gave her a pidgey instead of a catiel
because I wanted to see if she'd explode having to deal with a trainer with two horribly common pokemonjust to save her the trouble of thinking that much.no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 07:56 pm (UTC)"LOLOCAUST" sums up my feelings towards this. Ohgodwhy.