40 reviews
Aug. 16th, 2006 06:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
farlaI just worked my way through the first four pokemon category. I read a hundred stories. I gave 40 reviews. I wasted a great deal of time.
I'm going to go work on my stories now.
ETA: The hell?
ETA2: Because the story has just been deleted and the review page is sure to follow, and this livejournal is littered with enough broken links as it is, I was pointing to a review left directly after mine. My review was:
I'm ambivalent.
You set your scene nicely, take your time rather than rushing and include detail well.
However - "I must admit, he did have a point. I’d missed my chance to leave Celadon with my starter Pokémon five years ago. Every two months, nine ten-year old Trainers would be presented with their starter Pokémon, and would leave Celadon on their Pokémon journeys. At the age of ten, I’d missed my chance."
That...doesn't make sense. There's no reason why an arbitrary system like that would be put in place, and if there was, there are other ways to get a pokemon. She could buy one, ask someone else to catch her one, borrow a pokemon to catch one, or Oak could give her one.
Then there's the trainer, who's so cliche and goes off on rants about pokemon being tools without any provocation. You couldn't be blunter short of writing 'And by the way, he's a jerk and you should hate him'. (And studying pokemon doesn't conflict with them being tools - you can study something to learn how to use it.) A bit more restraint would be nice.
There's little explanation for why the two pokemon are there, or why the umbreon obeys him at the snap of his fingers. I suppose you might get to that, though. There's definitely no explanation for the whole 'you don't want this injured pokemon thing' - it looks like you're just trying to make her look kind and compassionate, but pokemon can be healed for free and espeon are rare and powerful. There's no reason someone wouldn't want it just because it's currently injured.
The next review was given by a Skyling (ID 884836):
Nice... the words used made everything clear in my mind. The way people spoke, moved... I could see it being an episode itself! I hope the next chapters will be longer, this seemed more like one scene.
I do admit the "horrible Trainer" is cliché, so maybe adding your own kind of style to him will help. Another Gary clone will make your story no different to many others.
The opening is unexplained, which is probably intentional, a nice guideline for chapter 2, or another further chapter.
And a message to all you flamers: Haven't you heard anything called constructive critcism? IF you're just out to flame, make sure you READ things properly and assume that the reader is trying to insinuate whatever it is you think isn't correct. Otherwise you'll just sound like a fool, and more bluntly put "haha u suk ur stori suk". However I think it's sad to flame someone, if it was distinctively bad then I understand, but just because you didn't like it, you can always SUGGEST ideas that you like, and say what you think could be improved. Yes, I just defined constructive criticism, I hope you learn to use it.
I'm going to go work on my stories now.
ETA: The hell?
ETA2: Because the story has just been deleted and the review page is sure to follow, and this livejournal is littered with enough broken links as it is, I was pointing to a review left directly after mine. My review was:
I'm ambivalent.
You set your scene nicely, take your time rather than rushing and include detail well.
However - "I must admit, he did have a point. I’d missed my chance to leave Celadon with my starter Pokémon five years ago. Every two months, nine ten-year old Trainers would be presented with their starter Pokémon, and would leave Celadon on their Pokémon journeys. At the age of ten, I’d missed my chance."
That...doesn't make sense. There's no reason why an arbitrary system like that would be put in place, and if there was, there are other ways to get a pokemon. She could buy one, ask someone else to catch her one, borrow a pokemon to catch one, or Oak could give her one.
Then there's the trainer, who's so cliche and goes off on rants about pokemon being tools without any provocation. You couldn't be blunter short of writing 'And by the way, he's a jerk and you should hate him'. (And studying pokemon doesn't conflict with them being tools - you can study something to learn how to use it.) A bit more restraint would be nice.
There's little explanation for why the two pokemon are there, or why the umbreon obeys him at the snap of his fingers. I suppose you might get to that, though. There's definitely no explanation for the whole 'you don't want this injured pokemon thing' - it looks like you're just trying to make her look kind and compassionate, but pokemon can be healed for free and espeon are rare and powerful. There's no reason someone wouldn't want it just because it's currently injured.
The next review was given by a Skyling (ID 884836):
Nice... the words used made everything clear in my mind. The way people spoke, moved... I could see it being an episode itself! I hope the next chapters will be longer, this seemed more like one scene.
I do admit the "horrible Trainer" is cliché, so maybe adding your own kind of style to him will help. Another Gary clone will make your story no different to many others.
The opening is unexplained, which is probably intentional, a nice guideline for chapter 2, or another further chapter.
And a message to all you flamers: Haven't you heard anything called constructive critcism? IF you're just out to flame, make sure you READ things properly and assume that the reader is trying to insinuate whatever it is you think isn't correct. Otherwise you'll just sound like a fool, and more bluntly put "haha u suk ur stori suk". However I think it's sad to flame someone, if it was distinctively bad then I understand, but just because you didn't like it, you can always SUGGEST ideas that you like, and say what you think could be improved. Yes, I just defined constructive criticism, I hope you learn to use it.
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no subject
Date: 2006-08-17 05:04 am (UTC)By the way, should I be amused by the title of the fic? Because I am. XD