5 reviews

[farla]

Only the Good (Vriska (Terezi, Bec Noir))

Nicely described and I like how you write her, but, Vriska couldn't give chase. Bec Noir teleports to the meteor once he has her trail, then teleports back with the bodies shortly after.

Moray Eels (Droog, Slick (CD, Stitch, Snowman))

There's a plot hole where Slick gets his arm ripped off while Droog is still with the effigies and should have noticed, and it's hard to believe Droog would take it quite this badly, but it has Snowman making Slick's life worse and that's what's really important in life.

In light of the rest I think we're supposed to be agreeing that Snowman is evil evil evil for doing this to innocent baby Slick, but hey, death of the author.

Green Eyes (Slick (Snowman))

Trumped (DD (SS, HB, CD, Sleuth))

It's nice to see Sleuth get a chance to really be cool and hardboiled. The image of him sitting calmly through Slick's rant is a good one.

Die's Not so Obscure Interest (Snowman (Die, Crowbar))

Kind of amusing, but it doesn't really go anywhere. They're just saying general stoner babble to each other, and Crowbar takes off again before they can say anything specifically inane to him.

Keep the Plates Spinning (PS (SS, Kanaya))

Kanaya has the same non-voice as the verse's Aradia does.

Deep Thoughts About Hands (Crowbar (Die))

This one's a lot better. The idea of Die messing around with his pins while high is funny and terrifying, and Crowbar makes for a perfect straight man contrast.

The Dignitary and the Handmaiden (DD (Aradiacester))

This reads weirdly. It's hard to put my finger on, but it sort of feels like the story's just treading water. Their conversations have a lot of repetition, and nothing's really changing between one scene and another. And she seems way too helpless - she's out of the mansion, surely it's a more productive use of her time to run off and try to find a way to kill herself than it is to keep arguing with someone who's refused?

And I think it'd help to put more thought into Droog's actions. Why release her, of all things? If he thinks there's something important about her he might as well take her back to the hideout or at least put a little effort into making it hard for her to be found, and it's not like he's actually got a thing about not killing kids. He seems entirely too nice here.

The best way I would describe this one is where you're trying to write a story but you don't actually know what about. The author has a thought (What if Droog and Aradiacester met?) and doesn't have any real answer. They also seem to want to avoid Droog doing anything actually awful but haven't thought of a good reason why in the story. So the characters all feel like they're just figures being moved around.

THE TALK (Karkat, Sollux, DD, Tavros, Die, Eridan, Nepeta, Snowman, PS (Slick, CD, Aradia, HB, Terezi, Crowbar, AD, Vriska, PI, Kanaya))

Die seems to have been beaten to death with the uke stick. Also, the girls were far more likely to have their version written from the viewpoint of their guardian, who are naturally mostly males. As is so often the case, hell if I can tell you what that actually means.


Vriska (Terezi, Bec Noir)
Droog, Slick (CD, Stitch, Snowman)
Slick (Snowman)
DD (SS, HB, CD, Sleuth)
Snowman (Die, Crowbar)
PS (SS, Kanaya)
Crowbar (Die)
DD (Aradiacester)
Karkat, Sollux, DD, Tavros, Die, Eridan, Nepeta, Snowman, PS (Slick, CD, Aradia, HB, Terezi, Crowbar, AD, Vriska, PI, Kanaya)

Three of nine.

Comments

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

So do you think you'll review it tomorrow? :D

[farla.livejournal.com]

Probably. I kind of want to get it all in one go, and it's massive.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Excellent. I will have my popcorn ready.

...are you the captchalogue anon claiming to have lost all love for Homestuck. :(

[farla.livejournal.com]

No. I feel bad for them. I'm not happy with it, but I wasn't expecting anything better, and after years of Pokemon fandom. I am well-versed in not giving fucks about the story canon wants me to are about.

And Jade was so incredibly awesome this update. I wish the carapace stuff hadn't been taking place at the same time, it'd make me love it more easily. In fact I generally wish there wasn't the sense that characters are fighting for screentime and good endings, and only a couple can win.

[ember-reignited.livejournal.com]

Okay, that's good. ^_^

I wonder who they are!

[conceptofzero.livejournal.com]

I am so excited to see you take on SOA. I remember reading that piece of shit while it was being posted on the forms and ranting to Ember after every new update, until I finally couldn't take how awful it was anymore. I still have no idea how it ends, but I'll go ahead and guess that all the women continue to be shallow untrustworthy harpies who need a man (aka Sleuth) to keep them in line.

[farla.livejournal.com]

See, that's why it's better just to tell people it sucks. Much better for the blood pressure in the long run.

I've only read random sections. I found it by searching to see if anyone had posted new Snowman fanfic. And in all important ways, they had not.

[conceptofzero.livejournal.com]

There's one particular bit in there with Snowman that always makes me instantly see red when I think about it. I don't know if you're seen that section or not, but if you haven't, then you are in for one hell of a 'treat'.

[farla.livejournal.com]

I seem to recall some point where Snowman was restrained from harming Sleuth as if she was a hysterical child and as if a good gutting wasn't exactly what the smug asshole deserved. But really, every bit I saw was awful in its own special way.

[conceptofzero.livejournal.com]

YES. THAT BIT. RESTRAINING THE WOMAN WHO CAN TELEPORT ANYWHERE SHE WANTS

honestly there are so many awful bits in there, and PM really gets the short shaft, but it's that bit that gets my goat because it's so painfully fucking illogical no matter how you look at it, not to mention hideously sexist