Wait, spoke too soon

[farla]

Just gave a handful of reviews and it seems the stupid has returned. I guess that's what I get for leaving so many stories unreviewed for a while. Still nothing particularly bitchy, though. Just:

Well, thanks for the review!

To start off, pokemon actually do need a capital letter.
That second bit, I don't really understand what you mean. Who's speech are
you referring to? I've reread the story and I can't see what you're talking
about.

'Seriously, pick up a book or something, this is basic, basic stuff.'
Okay, that was really rude.

I'm sorry about the stuff in brackets. I just didn't want people to read that
line and wonder what the heck I was going on about when she mentioned the
'Creative' fiasco. I apologise if it took away from your enjoyment of the
story.

Jade is actually a shade of green...

Yes, orbs are eyes. Very observant!
I had used 'eyes' previously in the sentence, so I didn't want repetition.

I didn't instantly post the story after I'd written it. Believe it or not, I
went over it many times to check I was happy with it.

I don't suppose you have any comments about the story itself, or indeed
anything to say that's even remotely friendly? It's nice to have a little
recognition of what I did well instead of a review focusing on negative
things.

I appreciate your review, and I hope you reply answering my query about the
dialogue!
ArcanineOod xX
^_^

Note: they are a beta reader. "Grammar and spelling are my best areas, and also sentence structure. I'm very spelling and grammar minded, so I guess that's where I excel in beta-reading."

Fucking FFN.

Comments

So you did read my reply...

[(Anonymous)]

I really would appreciate it if you told me what you meant about the speech. I did ask for you to reply, but instead you decide to bash me on your journal...
Nothing particularly bitchy, eh? There's nothing at all bitchy. I was trying my best to be nice, considering how rude I felt you were being towards me.
Please reply this time. I want to know where you think I'm wrong with the speech. It all seems fine to me. I really would appreciate it; it would make me a better beta reader if I knew where I was going wrong, and you obviously think I need to get better.
ArcanineOod xX

Re: So you did read my reply...

[farla.livejournal.com]

"Nothing particularly bitchy" = I'm getting a lot of replies, none of which were that day.

As to dialogue, quoth the review:
Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned..

The second line of dialogue of your story is "Bullet Seed, Cacturne! Full power!" Retaliated Harley Davidson. (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4715131/1/)

What's wrong with the speech is exactly what the review told you was wrong with speech: It's supposed to be written "Dialogue!" lowercase.

If you can't see the difference, there's nothing anyone can do short of going through everything you write and manually correcting it all.

Thank you

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you very much! I see where I went wrong now.
When I wrote that, I wasn't sure if it was correct. Thanks for pointing it out to me!
I just hope next time, you could answer me the day I ask the question, not the day I find you're bashing me in your blog.

Once again, thank you very much!
ArcanineOod xX =]

[(Anonymous)]

Oh yes, I meant to say, the reason I didn't understand what you were getting at was that I didn't know which line you were talking about. It really does help if you quote it.
Thanks again!
ArcanineOod xX =]

[farla.livejournal.com]

...except I'm talking about how to write dialogue, not one line.

Look, if I see an error in an otherwise correct story, I'll point it out. If you're not following a grammar rule at all, I'll tell you the rules, at which point it's up to you to correct things. If you're told that the way to write dialogue is completely different than the way you've been doing it, then it stands to reason it applies to all of your dialogue.

[(Anonymous)]

Though of course, you must understand that once I see that mistake pointed out to me in a quotation, I then realise which grammar mistake you were talking about in the first place, then check the rest of my work too. It helps if you show an example from the incorrect as well as just an explanation.
I see where you're coming from though.
I changed the capital letter in that bit, just so you know. I have yet to check the rest of the story for the same mistake.
On a completely different subject, do you have any comments about the story itself? Like the storyline?
And merry Christmas! ^_^
ArcanineOod xX

[farla.livejournal.com]

And you should understand that the dialogue bit is something I've got a shortcut for in OpenOffice because I've had to say it so much. Almost every story was making the same mistake as yours or a related one. Look, this initiative you've shown coming here is great. But you could also use that initiative to try to find this out on your own - googling something like "dialogue rules" will provide you with plenty of sites to explain in greater detail.

As to the story itself: No, I'm afraid not. I don't much care for romances, so I can't really give much of a response, or at least not one that'd be of use to you. It's really hard for me to tell the difference between a legitimate storyline issue and something that's just a matter of preference, and I'm only barely familiar with the characters.